Of Generosity and Handouts

[shaintiques]

First off let me say that this post is not meant to offend but inform. I have been on this forum for over a year and have experienced true generosity from many members. These folks have often sent me tobacco or pipes just because they wanted to out of the generosity of their own hearts. It has been a great experience and one that I have reciprocated when I am able. We all often talk about paying it forward and we do that pretty well, it is a very cool thing. We are a community and relate to one another as such not only in discussion but in the midst of helping one another with advice and even sending out gifts or care packages, and though this is fun and happens often new folks shouldn't expect handouts.
I received a request from a new member the other day and it rubbed me the wrong way. He had seen that I had sent someone some tobacco last year sometime and wanted to know if I would send him some too. And generally I have enough tobacco to send out especially as I get a good bit free and would do anything to help a new smoker have a good experience, I felt taken advantage of. I did however tell him that I would send him a sampler if he paid the shipping, which he said was acceptable, but I haven't heard a peep out of him other than in a post where he said someone was sending him a pipe and tobacco free of charge!
I see people get offended on here and leave and be childish about things, that isn't the point of this thread, it is a rather to say, "if someone is generous don't challenge their good nature by asking for a handout." Rather read, learn, and wait for someone to offer, or in the least if no one offers outright post your needs and see who comes to the rescue. Don't take advantage of us. This forum is a family who takes care of its own, not a free store.

 

[tbradsim1]

Amen to that Dave! I know the feeling. The old cajun

 

[corncobguy]

I wouldnt even think of asking anybody for anything. The nerve of some people. Im mad for you

 

[spyder71]

I agree, well put!

 

[irishsmoker]

Amen! I wish I had more to give!

 

[metarzan]

Well stated. I have not been a member long but have made a few trades and had a couple blends gifted to me unsolicited. Sincerity comes across in ones posts and many times other members are all too happy to help out. If I come across an odd hankering for something and I happen to have extra of said oddity laying around I like to think I would help out too. Shameless entitlement has become a common part of our society, but I like to think the pipe crowd will be one of the last societies that becomes infected.
P.S. If anyone has a Peterson Dracula Model 03 that they would give me... :nana:

 

[numbersix]

Well said Shantiques. I would have been put off as well.

 

[rotschefeller]

Haven't been around for all that long and I often don't have a whole lot to contribute as I am a lot less experienced than most of you.
But you guys are by far the nicest forum I have ever visited. I wouldn't dream of sticking my hand out.

 

[captainprophesy]

Amen to that! Like Irish I too wish I could do more for people.
But unlike some (I had someone send me a sampler, from what I thought was the goodness of their heart but came with a note to make sure I give them a good write up and kudos on the forums... I did not, I sent it back and they are not here anymore) I dont want recognition when I send someone something (which I always feel is not enough, but thats another story)... nor do I make a big deal over it when someone sends me something.
We are a community of good people... all of us. If and when we help each other out, it should be because we care about each other and not for selfish reasons (well other than it makes us feel good )

 

[zonomo]

Well folks, I come from the Atlas Shrugged school of life. I don't expect anything, would never ever ask for something free. Not in my nature. If some good natured soul were to offer (as a few have done here with advice and even Skype), then I'll appreciate it with deep felt sincerity of thanks. I'm sure this thread was somewhat difficult to write and I think you did a good job and stated it well shaintiques.

 

[yohanan]

Exceptional thread that is well put and to the point, and that I strongly agree with.

 

[batdemon]

Well said, Dave. I couldn't agree more.

 

[chakaraka]

New member here, but I totally agree with everything said by everyone here. It is a very friendly place, lot of people contributing in a very civil manner (what a refreshing change from other forums I've been a part of). I can't imagine the nerve of asking for a handout. The support, assistance and camraderie offered here are more than enough. Good for you shaintiques, for calling BS on an awkward situation.
::

 

[bigboi]

I believe it was well put Shaintiques. I don't believe anyone should be offended by what you wrote.

 

[cigrmaster]

Dave, that was a very good post and I would feel exactly the same as you.

This place has the most generous people I have seen on a web site so if you are new and are active chances are someone will do a nice thing for you, but to ask a perfect stranger is just not cool.

 

[tbradsim1]

Damn Roth I was gonna send you Dunhill unsmoked 1960 #6 Root Briar, Oh well I"ll just have to keep it. The old cajun :laughat:

 

[captainsousie]

Great post Dave, it is a bit tacky to ask for a handout instead of asking "what can I give you in trade?". I have been humbled by the kindness and generosity of people on this forum and hope to someday be as giving.

 

[shawn]

Well said Sir! I have learned much from you Fellas! Thank you.

 

[clarkkent]

The only thing "free" I've come here for is camaraderie and advice. Both of these things I only truley desire when freely given. This is a very friendly community from what I've seen so far. Quite the change from other forums I've been a part of. It's amazing the world we leave in.... people are so quick to take advantage of the generosity of strangers.
Robert

 

[misterzombie]

Very well said. I didn't even know that this was a thing! I'm a new member myself and I just don't see how someone could feel comfortable enough to just outright ask like that. I mean, at least build up a relationship with this forum before making such requests, y'know? Sorry that you ended up feeling taken advantage of. In some of my other hobbies such as prop making this happens way too much where people ask for help on how to do something, have you hold their hand, and then never give a thank you and sometimes even have the audacity to say "I figured this out myself!". Poor tact and makes many people in that hobby reluctant to "give away secrets" and help new people. It is a shame to see that sort of mentality from new users coming here.
In the end I want to thank everyone on this forum for providing me with incredible insight and knowledge into this hobby. I have greatly appreciated it. You all rock! ::