I have NO damn idea how this happened. But the only thing I ever got busted for was a new tube of tooth paste that was more than 3 oz.
But wait till you see what got by.
My bag went through the scanner and the security woman grabbed it. She sent it through again. She had me stand to the side and asked if she could open it. (Yeah, sure). She grabbed out my shaving kit. Studied my face as she asked if she could open that. (Yeah. Sure).
She unzipped it. Flipped the cover back (my kit looks like a mini-satchel that has a hook to hang it from a coat/hat hook in a bathroom. Unfolds and, voila, there's everything you need).
In one of the vertical pockets was my new tube of toothpaste. She flipped the cargo-net-like bag above it up and grabbed it and, sort of like threatened me with it, asking if I wanted to take it back to my vehicle. And scolded me, this *always* should be in the quart-sized plastic baggie with other liquids and gels. (Yes, ma'am. Sorry. I got lax since last two trips were over-the-road).
Yeah, right. I just about made it through security at OMA and now I want to run back to Offutt Air Force Base to put a $1 tube of toothpaste in my truck? (Just toss it, please). She threw it in the trash.
No problem, right.
Okay, so I get to Chicago. In the morning I go to brush my teeth. I forgot I had no toothpaste. Damn. But in that little cargo-net-like thing... I had NOT seen this. I have no idea when/why I would put them there... but here were six handloaded .357 cartridges tipped with Hornady XTPs. Ho. Lee. Shi'ite.
Then I burst out laughing. How THEE hell did THOSE get in there? And she had moved them aside to bust me for oversized toothpaste. Did she mistake them for suppositories? The cool, refreshing relief of brass-covered Preparation H?
Whoa, talk about RELIEF! How would I have explained that if she had recognized what they were? How long would I have been detained? Would the handcuffs have left permanent marks? Wow.
Then a thought occurred to me. This was worth money. How do I get a message to Al Qaida that to sneak some surface-to-air missiles into the country, just put an oversized toothpaste decoy in your carry-on luggage.
Oh. My. GOD!!!! No idea how those got in there. Why... What would I have been doing.... HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET IN THERE?
Someday, Joseph. Someday... oh my.
I know their sensors work, though. I've been strip-searched for explosives after returning from a blasting site. It was just a walk-around tour with a same-day flight home out of Avoca, NY. So, I hadn't changed my slacks. Just swapped out my shoes. Alarms went off and I had to go in a little room. All those little round patch thingers. One for every stinkin' thing in my cyberbag and on my person. Cords. Attachments. Everything in every pocket. Two TSA guys and me, me down to skivvies.
Oh the fun of traveling.