Newbie With a Vicious Cycle Issue

[purplemenace]

Hello All!
After wanting to try it for a long time, I finally bought myself a simple corncob pipe and 2oz of bulk vanilla cream tobacco after suffering through a nasty (cigarette-withdrawal/argument with the husband related) depression, and, I have to say, am currently in absolute LOVE with pipe-smoking now! It calms me down much more than cigarettes ever did, and the soothing scent and flavor of tobacco and vanilla simply...centers me. It's hard to explain, but I'm sure if anybody knows what I'm talking about, it's the folks here.
If it wasn't for my current predicament with my husband, I would be in complete heaven and would explore this new interest of mine full-bore. So, to cut to the chase, here's the issue at hand:
My husband and I both occasionally indulge in tobacco (think buying a pack of cigarettes after one too many microbrews on a Friday night...), but, for the most part, no longer smoke. My husband, who I love dearly, has taken up running recently, and, because of the potential hindrance on his breathing, absolutely forbids me from smoking anything at all during the week (only OK with me doing it if he is doing it...).
We have had major, atomic-bomb-level arguments about my tobacco use before in the past (cigarettes), since he's afraid of taking it back up again full time. I can understand where he's coming from, but I wish he would realize that I do everything I possibly can to keep my vices away from him as to not jeopardize his new-found health. I've sacrificed something (amongst a plethora of other past hobbies/interests/friends)that made me truly and genuinely happy for the sake of his happiness, and it seems to me that it's a constant struggle to try to make him realize this and give a little back...sorry, I digress.
Point of the matter, I'm worried about breaking the news to him that I've even tried pipe smoking, much more that I wish to continue to do so, preferably without fear of him making a huge deal out of an otherwise innocuous event.
Is there anyone here that may have an idea on how to compromise with him on this? I love the smell of pipe tobacco lingering on my clothes, but he has such a sensitive nose that I'm positive he'll smell it on me the minute he comes home tonight, and, after bouncing back from the bad funk I was in, I'm not exactly in the mood for a fight over something I've come to love in such a short period of time and reduces my usually-high stress level. I have no problem experimenting with different aromatic blends (keep hearing praises from non-smokers about 1Q or something along those lines) to try and reduce the stink on me, but I really just want my spouse to at least sympathize and accept me for me.
The hardest part is that I really wish I could share this with him so we could maybe explore this new world together, but, alas, I am sure that I'll be shot down if I even attempt to suggest it
In case anyone is wondering, no we don't have kids, I'm old enough to use tobacco (turning 26 tomorrow, actually), I smoke outdoors ONLY, I bought my own tobacco and pipe, never, EVER was one for expensive shoes, clothing, or purses so I'm not a typical materialistic woman, I work part-time to cover most of my own expenses, and I have zero issues with my hubby buying his monthly video game, new running gear, wine, etc.
Hmm, now that I'm typing all of this out, seems like my husband and I switched typical gender roles on this one, ha ha ha...
...but yeah, ideas on how to bring up the topic that I've taken up pipe smoking and the stress-reducing benefits are astronomical to the spouse?
Sorry for long post, just getting a lot of weight off my mind and having it replaced with a lot of new, potential flak from my hubby...aaaaaaaaaaaand now all I want to do is smoke some more! Any advice would be incredibly appreciated. Thanks in advance

 

[dlattim]

First, welcome purple! You might suggest he read some of this forum and if you are not the jealous type have him look at the Pipe Babes section to see other pretty woman smoking their pipes. There are many places where you can find information about pipe smoking being healthier than cigarettes because it is not necessary to inhale to get the nicotine effect. Then tell him you will only smoke outdoors on the porch or back patio or someplace like that to keep the smoke away from him. I feel certain he won't find the smell of pipe smoke as offensive as cigs. Just my thoughts here, I'm not married so I'm certainly no expert. Again, welcome aboard. I wish you well with any approach you take.

 

[gray4lines]

Yes, pipes are way different... ask Lawrence the moderator about quitting smoking and picking up a pipe... i just read a post of his concerning a cough that disappeared after quitting cigs and switching to a pipe.
Found it:

Here's my 2 cents worth. This is an excellent inquiry Roger and something about smoking that should be understood by any "newbie". I do not recommend that anyone inhale any tobacco smoke.
However; as a reformed "coughin' nail" addict I can say that I do inhale..., but I have made a conscious effort to refrain from the practice and absolutely no more than once a bowl.
When I inhale, I inhale from the true light only. I have noticed that the flavor is much more discernible and intense when I do not inhale.
The first reason I inhale is to dismiss any craving for Vitamin N at the outset and enjoy the tobacco, and I do this only after a conscious decision to do so.
The second, results from a combination of inattention and kinesthetic memory ingrained from years of nicotine delivery system usage, and not because I enjoy it. This will only occur when I am engrossed in some activity e.g. reading.
One side effect from my decision to inhale only when I decide to is: I no longer have smoker's hack that I had developed from years of cigarettes smoking. My Doctor has inquired about my cough going away and confirms that my lungs are clear.

 

[hfearly]

First, welcome - and let me say I applaud your (husbands) life choice for healthier living. From personal experience, I can tell you two things:
1) Cigarette smoking will negatively influence your lung function. When you try running you'll cough up your arse after half a mile.
2) Pipe smoking has no such effect - you do not inhale smoke, so it never reaches your lungs.
I run 5K and 10K distances, play soccer, ultimate frisbee and volleyball, I rock climb and ski. If pipe smoking would negatively impact any of these sports for me, I'd have quit right away. It doesn't. At all. Zero.
However, if the concern is being afraid of forming an unhealthy habit (let's face it: pipe smoking increases risk of oral and mouth cancer - period!), he may have a point when he wishes to avoid temptation.
Maybe you guys want to set down strict rules and coach one another such that pipe smoking will be a rare act of relaxation, instead of a nicotine consumption habit.

 

[numbersix]

Welcome to the forum Purple. Yours is a tough one. I think many couples go through similar trials. I've been married 22 years and my wife and I have had similar arguments.
You have IMHO two options: reasoning or cunning.
By "reasoning", I mean explaining to your husband that while you support and applaud his efforts in exercising, etc., for a partnership to work, you also need to be free to pursue your own interests just as he pursues his.
This approach may not work however because people are often incapable of pure reasoning - they attach previous dramas and opinions. No matter how logical your argument may be, he still may not agree.
The "cunning" approach is this: next time you both have a few too many micro brews, pull out a couple of corn cobs. Say you bought them on a whim after you read that pipe smoking isn't inhaled and is healthier. Mention how even some athletes have smoked cigars and pipes are no different.
This could be a gentle way to broach the subject...
Good luck and I hope you'll let us know the outcome. ::

 

[mthanded]

[The "cunning" approach is this: next time you both have a few too many micro brews, pull out a couple of corn cobs. Say you bought them on a whim after you read that pipe smoking isn't inhaled and is healthier. Mention how even some athletes have smoked cigars and pipes are no different.]
This is your best approach, IMHO. Since you both smoke when imbibing, you can give him some advice in loading and smoking but of course, the jig is up when you have to show him the proper way to do it. Pipe and or cigar is the best way to stay off the cigarettes and enjoy tobacco together.
Oh yea, welcome to the forum!

 

[mrenglish]

If pipe smoking keeps you off cigarettes, then by all means continue to do so. If your husband cannot handle that, then pish on him. Marriage is give and take, compromise and really trying to understand the others point of view. If he wishes to lead the healthy life style, then good on him. If however you enjoy the pipe and it helps center you, then I say continue with what you are doing. You seem to be pretty level headed so I would draw the line. You are not hurting things by smoking the occasional pipe so he will need to understand your position. If he does not, then it is his issue, you cannot continue to give up what you like/enjoy just to make him happy. Some things you have to enjoy.
I've been married for 18 years so have been around the block. If the aroma on the clothes is an issue for him, just get a jacket or something you can wear that you can remove when you are done smoking.
Sorry, this sounds a bit like a take it and stuff it kind of message, but that is not the point I am really driving at. I guess what I am trying to say is if he loves/respects you, he will understand. He may not like it, but it is your choice and you seem to be making it as easy as possible to accept. Neither of you will ever be 100% in agreement with each other so some things you just have to accept from the other.
Welcome to the forums and please continue to post. This is a great place for advice and to learn about this hobby.
Mike

 

[mrenglish]

Oh yeah, I like the cunning approach as well. ::

 

[baronsamedi]

I run 5K and 10K distances, play soccer, ultimate frisbee and volleyball, I rock climb and ski. If pipe smoking would negatively impact any of these sports for me, I'd have quit right away. It doesn't. At all. Zero.
Ditto. I run 3 miles a day at a 10 minute mile and I can do a 2 mile run in about 14:30. I also have asthma. I smoke 1-2 bowls a day and it doesn't affect my run or my weight training, which I do after I run. If I was training for a marathon or triathlon, I'd probably stop during training, but other than that it's no problem.
Pipes don't beat up your lungs if you don't inhale thesmoke.

 

[judcole]

Welcome to the forum Purple.

 

[buster]

Welcome to the forum Purple. Relationships are fun are they not? :D Ease into it and maybe the occasional cigar or pipe will not be such an issue?

 

[rondyr]

Welcome to the community, Purple, and best of luck with your predicament.
I'd offer some advice on the situation, but I'm single for a reason. :rofl:

 

[philip]

(turning 26 tomorrow, actually)

Happy birthday to our new friend. I hope it turns out to be the best you have had so far.

 

[mountainman]

one thing to keep in mind is that a healthy relationship first has to consist of understanding that each person has to be themselves and the other has to get over trying to change the other one. My wife does many things that annoys me. i annoy her. we adapt and deal. hopefully your husband can get there. welcome to the forum and happy bday!

 

[bentmike]

Welcome purple! I hope it works out for you. We need more lady pipers. Lots of good suggestions already. I am also an endurance athlete. My sport and passion is bicycles. Last weekend I rode my mtn bike for 4 hours up and down hills in chilly air. My lungs are fine. I gave up the cigs too in my early 20's because it was holding me back while on the bike. Good Luck!

 

[austinxpipe]

I run 5K and 10K distances, play soccer, ultimate frisbee and volleyball, I rock climb and ski. If pipe smoking would negatively impact any of these sports for me, I'd have quit right away. It doesn't. At all. Zero.

^^^This^^^
I weight train 3 times a week and either run, swim, or bike 3 times a week and take 1 day off. I'm also a type 1 diabetic which has affected much of my life. If pipe smoking posed any more than a minor risk to my overall health I would also quit. And if it specifically affected my training or type 1 diabetes in ANY way it would be out of here.

 

[purplemenace]

wow, thank you all for some excellent advice!! also, thank you to those wishing me a happy birthday and welcoming me to the forum
my husband and i are currently imbibing some beverages, so we'll see where the evening goes...worst case, he'll pass out before i do so i can sneak in a nice, quiet bowl out in the shed before bed lol
trying to weigh out the right opportunity to maybe broach the topic regardless, and the advice posted here will definitely be a part of it!
again, great advice, fellas, I'll be sure to update on the outcome when it happens
ps: I actually do kickboxing, free weights, and play with our lab mix puppy at the park every week; even when i was smoking cigarettes, my breathing was ok, so i don't know if I'm lucky or i just don't inhale deeply out of habit to effect me too much...would go insane if i couldn't breathe correctly while sprinting after my dog with a tennis ball in his mouth, lol

 

[nsfisher]

Sorry in advance for my bluntness and I hope you do not hold it against me in the future, so here goes, and it is short and sweet.
You are an adult! You need nobody's permission. If you want to smoke a pipe, that is your choice. If your husband cannot take you as you are, then he should not take you at all. 26 is young and you probably haven't been married for very long. I have been married for 25 yrs so.......... Do not ask permission, do not hide it. Did you have to give your permission for your hubby to start running? or anything else he does related to his Health Kick? No you didn't. For a husband and wife to coincide together for a lifetime, which is how it is suppose to be, one cannot influence another's choices. Each must accept the other as they are.

 

[dottle]

What he ^ said.

 

[cortezattic]

Take up shoe collecting. :rofl: