My Wife Is Going To Kill Me

[Amarkey]

Just made my largest tobacco purchase yet. I bought 5 3.5oz tins of Orlik Golden Sliced, 8oz of PS Luxury Twist Flake, 4oz of C&D Bayou Morning, 2oz of LL Black Raspberry, 1 tin of Cult Blood Red Moon. Ive been meaning to start stocking up but its been difficult lately. Finally had the spare cash. Wife will most likely scold me but that was a risk I am willing to take. I mean i got 20% off my order and free shipping. How could i pass that up. Super happy to have some Orlik built up as thats one of my favorite blends.

 

[RustiePyles CPG]

Easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask permission.

 

[Servant King]

I hear you loud and clear. Wifey is pretty tolerant of my cellaring, but I spent my whole allotted budget for Q4 already, so I might just have to wait until the IPSD sales in Feb. to stock up any more (I'm a sucker for bargains). It will be tough to pass up these holiday sales, but it's a good test for my willpower.

It's best to maintain good spousal relations and good cellaring prowess concurrently, but it's a tough balance to swing. George Carlin once said that corporations make marketing decisions every day by weighing the cost of being sued for someone's death against the cost of making the product they're selling safer. It's a similar situation, except that corporate meetings rarely end with make-up sex. And when I say rarely, I mean frequently never.

 

[huntertrw]

"One Adam-12, One Adam-12, see Amarkey regarding a 217 and 614, Code Three."

"One Adam-12, roger."

 

[Ghosted Tamper]

Super happy to have some Orlik built up as thats one of my favorite blends.

Be careful admitting such sentiments in a publicly open discussion forum on the internet. You do know that this will be documented for all time, yes? You will forever be lacerated by shrewd judgements.

You've got some balls on you.

 

[Amarkey]

You've got some balls on you

Nope, just dumb.

 

[huntertrw]

 

[Ghosted Tamper]

Nope, just dumb.

We're more alike than we are different, you and I.

 

[anotherbob]

Depends on your budget. Fun fact wives and girlfriends can get more tolerant of larger orders once they realize you're going to smoke it all anyways if you buy it now or later.

 

[didimauw]

"The wife is going to kill me"

Seriously, I hated that feeling. I was always feeling guilty and more or less hiding my purchases. No sweetheart, I was born with all these pipes. Always had em! Lmao

No longer an issue in my house!

My wife moved out last week, and I immediate contacted a carver about a commission!

 

[Ghosted Tamper]

"The wife is going to kill me"

Seriously, I hated that feeling. I was always feeling guilty and more or less hiding my purchases. No sweetheart, I was born with all these pipes. Always had em! Lmao

No longer an issue in my house!

My wife moved out last week, and I immediate contacted a carver about a commission!

Excerpt from the upcoming book, Divorce: In Making Men the Head of Household Again.

 

[didimauw]

Excerpt from the upcoming book, Divorce: In Making Men the Head of Household Again.

Life is looking up for me my friend!

 

[Ghosted Tamper]

Life is looking up for me my friend!

I'm truly glad to hear that.

 

[Chasing Embers]

That's it? Here's what some of the orders my wife got for me look like.

 

[JOHN72]

My wife is the same way. They care about our health. You should buy her a new car, a dozen new shoes, a dozen new handbags, a briefcase full of face creams, body creams, make-up, perfumes, a dozen of them.

 

[karam]

Just made my largest tobacco purchase yet. I bought 5 3.5oz tins of Orlik Golden Sliced, 8oz of PS Luxury Twist Flake, 4oz of C&D Bayou Morning, 2oz of LL Black Raspberry, 1 tin of Cult Blood Red Moon. Ive been meaning to start stocking up but its been difficult lately. Finally had the spare cash. Wife will most likely scold me but that was a risk I am willing to take. I mean i got 20% off my order and free shipping. How could i pass that up. Super happy to have some Orlik built up as thats one of my favorite blends.

That's barely a kilo of tobacco, why would she "kill" you? My wife is overall very indifferent to my spending on my hobbies and I wouldn't have it any other way. As long as the house is in order and I'm spending what I've earned on ethical/lawful stuff I'd react bad to her being any other way! I once said "cheating would be a lot cheaper" :P

 

[Scottmi]

"Don't ask, don't tell" is a broadly applicable strategy.
and
it's never going to be any cheaper. Good buy!

 

[didimauw]

That's it? Here's what some of the orders my wife got for me look like.

View attachment 264575View attachment 264576View attachment 264578

I don't believe I have ever seen a picture of her... Is she even real? I don't know a woman that would buy such absurd things for a man.

 

[yanoJL]

Wrap it in Christmas paper, add a bow and a tag that reads "to: Amarkey, from: Santa" and place it under the tree.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I don't believe I have ever seen a picture of her... Is she even real? I don't know a woman that would buy such absurd things for a man.

She's also a pipe smoker with her own cellar but I've caught her in mine.

You actually asked the same question a few years ago. Here she is again. She's camera shy so I had to sneak this one back in September.




You can tell by the expression that she wasn't amused.