My Loss
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I am sorry mate. I know that's not much, but just want you to know, the Wife and I are thinking of, and praying for the both of you.
Colcolt, my families prayers are with you and your sister. I know this is a traumatic time for you, be strong for your sister, she will need everything you can give her.
Colcolt... man I am so very sorry for all this, it actually made me tear up! 
... I am NOT a praying man, but I will send the strongest mojo that I possibly can... stay strong brother! and if you ever need to vent or talk... just shoot me a PM... I know we dont actually know each other, but sometimes its easier to talk to someone you dont know.
... I am NOT a praying man, but I will send the strongest mojo that I possibly can... stay strong brother! and if you ever need to vent or talk... just shoot me a PM... I know we dont actually know each other, but sometimes its easier to talk to someone you dont know.
ColColt your sister and you will be in my prayers. I have two younger sisters and am very close to both of them, I can only imagine the heartache you are experiencing. This very day last year was the last time i spoke to my father. Two days later I traveled from CA to NY to be by my Fathers beside in the hospital as he had multiple organ failure. On December 7th my sister an I had to make the decision to take him off life support, which I felt was the most difficult but necessary choice I have ever made in my 25 years. His suffering ended very quickly and painlessly after a very difficult and painful struggle. I can only hope the same is true for your sister and that she finds comfort in your presence and her suffering can be lifted. She will find her place in the arms of The Lord and will surely look down and bless your life. Your memories will always be a thing to cherish and will help you get through each and everyday.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and as I type this my perfectly healthy newborn daughter is asleep on my chest, surely a blessing from God and a legacy of her Grandpa. I wish you all the best during these difficult times Colcolt and will continue to pray for you and your sister.
The Lord works in mysterious ways and as I type this my perfectly healthy newborn daughter is asleep on my chest, surely a blessing from God and a legacy of her Grandpa. I wish you all the best during these difficult times Colcolt and will continue to pray for you and your sister.
thats a tough situation Colcolt. but you can take comfort in where shes going, theres no more chemo or misery or pain. my heart goes out to you. cancers a hell of thing.
I just back back from NC about 3:10 EST and wasn't able to access the forum due to her old XP OS and not keeping up wit anti virus software. I tried and it was slow as dial up.
I have to say this, I was touched to the bone to see all these well wishes from so many. My heart felt thanks to all for responding and for knowing and having been there many of you, yourself. This was not a good visit-the worse yet. I had trouble understanding her and many times as the day went on it got worse. She would say things that made absolutely no sense at all and other times when you ask her something she responded about another topic. For the most part, it was just her and me there most of the time although Hospice a a few girl friends came by and stayed and brought food for the both of us. I fixed her what was brought and put it in a small bowl and she may have eaten a spoonful and very little liquid.
Several different occasions I would ask her if she could hold the bowl and she'd say of course but ended up dumping it on either the floor or herself or both. The same way with liquids. Several times I had to clean her and the floor up. It was heart wrenching to watch her not to be able to even hold a spoon. It was like giving a spoon to a week old baby. I was afraid to let her get up and go into the kitchen or bathroom by herself for fear of her falling. The entire time I was there I don't think she went to pee more than twice and not at all yesterday.
As I pondered at night after I got her in bed, which was the couch, I couldn't believe how just two years ago she could out work me in the yard and walk circles around me in Gatlinburg. Now she can barely stand. She has to to a morphine pill along with some other one in the morning and again at night and she couldn't hold the pills to get them in her mouth so I made her open her mouth and I put it in and held the water for her to drink. She insisted she could do it herself but after twice seeing I had to dig for the pill where she dropped it in the chair and spilled the water on her I started doing it myself...despite her fussing.
My poor dog had a rough time as well. He knew something was wrong and would circle the coffee table and look at her and do this several times and then come over and sniff her legs and feet. Her half Cocker/King Charles Spaniel wasn't good to Bubba and growled and nipped at him twice even though he had done nothing. Bubba would just go in the back bedroom where we slept and lie down on his bed. I felt sorry for him. He never made a sound the whole time we were there.
I feel like I'm in another world being home. It's like my head is spinning and part of me is still there. Well, I don't want to keep going on but again, it was not a pleasant trip. I thank each of you so very much for even taking the time to respond to this and hope your weekend was much better.
I have to say this, I was touched to the bone to see all these well wishes from so many. My heart felt thanks to all for responding and for knowing and having been there many of you, yourself. This was not a good visit-the worse yet. I had trouble understanding her and many times as the day went on it got worse. She would say things that made absolutely no sense at all and other times when you ask her something she responded about another topic. For the most part, it was just her and me there most of the time although Hospice a a few girl friends came by and stayed and brought food for the both of us. I fixed her what was brought and put it in a small bowl and she may have eaten a spoonful and very little liquid.
Several different occasions I would ask her if she could hold the bowl and she'd say of course but ended up dumping it on either the floor or herself or both. The same way with liquids. Several times I had to clean her and the floor up. It was heart wrenching to watch her not to be able to even hold a spoon. It was like giving a spoon to a week old baby. I was afraid to let her get up and go into the kitchen or bathroom by herself for fear of her falling. The entire time I was there I don't think she went to pee more than twice and not at all yesterday.
As I pondered at night after I got her in bed, which was the couch, I couldn't believe how just two years ago she could out work me in the yard and walk circles around me in Gatlinburg. Now she can barely stand. She has to to a morphine pill along with some other one in the morning and again at night and she couldn't hold the pills to get them in her mouth so I made her open her mouth and I put it in and held the water for her to drink. She insisted she could do it herself but after twice seeing I had to dig for the pill where she dropped it in the chair and spilled the water on her I started doing it myself...despite her fussing.
My poor dog had a rough time as well. He knew something was wrong and would circle the coffee table and look at her and do this several times and then come over and sniff her legs and feet. Her half Cocker/King Charles Spaniel wasn't good to Bubba and growled and nipped at him twice even though he had done nothing. Bubba would just go in the back bedroom where we slept and lie down on his bed. I felt sorry for him. He never made a sound the whole time we were there.
I feel like I'm in another world being home. It's like my head is spinning and part of me is still there. Well, I don't want to keep going on but again, it was not a pleasant trip. I thank each of you so very much for even taking the time to respond to this and hope your weekend was much better.
First of all many thanks to Kevin and the mods for allowing me to having posted this situation. It's not my wish to have brought anyone down, especially this time of year but I just needed to talk about it since I have no one else.
I've been gone a week now and just returned this afternoon. I was called at 12:15 on Dec 6th that my sister had passed away. I left the next day and had to make funeral arrangements since she hadn't dealt with that. It was a wretched experience but got through it and paid for the opening/closing of the grave upfront. Her financial adviser told me not to worry about the cost of the funeral and all the other charges that there was more than enough in the estate to handle that. He even asked if he could attend the funeral and I of course told him yes. Me and my kid brother both specified the casket was to be closed and that there would be visitation of friends prior to a graveside service. the funeral was held yesterday afternoon.
The funeral home botched the entire event. Upon arrival we were greeted and asked if my sister was who we came to see. Then we were directed to got about 300 yards away up the hill where the grave site would be. I asked the woman who gave her that information that the visitation was to be in the funeral home itself and services would be held at the grave site-not the visitation. We had to get someone to go get those that arrived before us to come back to the funeral home where the visitation was to be held. Stupid move on their part No. 1
Secondly when we went to see her casket we discovered it was open and not closed as we specified. We couldn't close it since there were already about 20 people there. Stupid move No.2.
We ended up having the services inside due to inclement weather and afterwards we were directed out to another room and no one knew what we were suppose to do at that point until we started asking questions and were told we could all go to the grave site but no services would be held but could get the flowers and cards for thank you notes later.
Me and my brother were whisked away to another room and I snagged my sisters adviser so he could hear whatever this funeral director guy had to say. He showed to 11x14" pieces of paper with a tallying list of charges that came to over $16K. We were not told about all these charges before, only the cost of the opening and closing of the grave, the marker and embalming along with a few other charges that totaled about $5700. I thought that was it until he hit us with that bombshell. He gave us no estimate prior to that and relayed that all that needed to be paid before we left. The adviser chimed in on our behalf and said all those charges would be taken care of when the estate was settled. The director didn't want to hear that but had little choice and was told they would get their money when he got a copy of the death certificate.
To add fuel to the flame, the flowers they gave my brother's wife to take home turned out to be the flowers from the funeral of someone before we got there!! Stupid mistake No. 3. The cards were from people she didn't know and knew something wasn't right. What a bunch of idiots. I think in light of what we had to go through on a day such as that was that they should deduct quite a bit off that total price for their ignorance in adhering to our wishes about the funeral and for their mistakes. Take heed guys, stupid happens but you wouldn't expect it from a renown funeral hoe who had been in business for decades. I hope this gets settled soon...I don't need anymore.
Thanks again for letting me vent this. I would not wish such an experience on anyone.
I've been gone a week now and just returned this afternoon. I was called at 12:15 on Dec 6th that my sister had passed away. I left the next day and had to make funeral arrangements since she hadn't dealt with that. It was a wretched experience but got through it and paid for the opening/closing of the grave upfront. Her financial adviser told me not to worry about the cost of the funeral and all the other charges that there was more than enough in the estate to handle that. He even asked if he could attend the funeral and I of course told him yes. Me and my kid brother both specified the casket was to be closed and that there would be visitation of friends prior to a graveside service. the funeral was held yesterday afternoon.
The funeral home botched the entire event. Upon arrival we were greeted and asked if my sister was who we came to see. Then we were directed to got about 300 yards away up the hill where the grave site would be. I asked the woman who gave her that information that the visitation was to be in the funeral home itself and services would be held at the grave site-not the visitation. We had to get someone to go get those that arrived before us to come back to the funeral home where the visitation was to be held. Stupid move on their part No. 1
Secondly when we went to see her casket we discovered it was open and not closed as we specified. We couldn't close it since there were already about 20 people there. Stupid move No.2.
We ended up having the services inside due to inclement weather and afterwards we were directed out to another room and no one knew what we were suppose to do at that point until we started asking questions and were told we could all go to the grave site but no services would be held but could get the flowers and cards for thank you notes later.
Me and my brother were whisked away to another room and I snagged my sisters adviser so he could hear whatever this funeral director guy had to say. He showed to 11x14" pieces of paper with a tallying list of charges that came to over $16K. We were not told about all these charges before, only the cost of the opening and closing of the grave, the marker and embalming along with a few other charges that totaled about $5700. I thought that was it until he hit us with that bombshell. He gave us no estimate prior to that and relayed that all that needed to be paid before we left. The adviser chimed in on our behalf and said all those charges would be taken care of when the estate was settled. The director didn't want to hear that but had little choice and was told they would get their money when he got a copy of the death certificate.
To add fuel to the flame, the flowers they gave my brother's wife to take home turned out to be the flowers from the funeral of someone before we got there!! Stupid mistake No. 3. The cards were from people she didn't know and knew something wasn't right. What a bunch of idiots. I think in light of what we had to go through on a day such as that was that they should deduct quite a bit off that total price for their ignorance in adhering to our wishes about the funeral and for their mistakes. Take heed guys, stupid happens but you wouldn't expect it from a renown funeral hoe who had been in business for decades. I hope this gets settled soon...I don't need anymore.
Thanks again for letting me vent this. I would not wish such an experience on anyone.
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