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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,211
60,622
Probably the worst coffee I ever regularly drank was Navy coffee and especially shipboard coffee. The Navy brags about having the best food in the U.S. military services. Although I can't say the food was James Beard competitive, I was a young guy with a large appetite and found the dining more than acceptable, with dependably large breakfasts if requested. Even aboard ship where everything started out from the "reefer," refrigerator/freezer. However, the coffee was dependably the worst. I made it from time to time. It was often hours (and hours) old, probably cut with material other than coffee, cheap beans stored poorly and somewhat stale, and always watery and weak tasting despite the acidic hook. You could taste the metallic sour afterglow of a thousand pots. However, coffee was the drug of choice for the midnight to eight watch, zero to eight hundred military time. I weighed so little when I got out, that when I gained ten pounds, it was not noticeable. Four years on my feet or waiting to be summoned to the next watch.
 
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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,211
60,622
Oops. This should have gone with food and beverage. Shift it at will.
 

Bowie

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 24, 2019
980
4,355
Minnesota
Army coffee wasn't much better. But on the positive side, my bar for "bad" coffee got so low that I can enjoy even the cheapest convenience store coffee now.

The instant coffee in MREs was bad, but if you mixed it with the cocoa powder, sugar, and some water, you had a great caffeinated icing to spread on the crackers.

But thanks to MREs, I'll never be able to enjoy corned beef hash ever again.
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,211
60,622
I never did business with MRE's, but my wife, as a food writer, wrote them up in some detail. To the non-military, they are more of a curiosity than a nutritional obstacle. I agree, my experience with Navy coffee gave me wide latitude of forgiveness for coffee of lesser stature. Notoriously weak diner coffee has a certain mild charm; no wonder you can drink unending of cups of it, to get a small dose of caffeine.
 
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ray47

Lifer
Jul 10, 2015
2,451
5,629
Dalzell, South Carolina
I was in Food Service when I was in the Air Force and we used to clean the grills with the coffee straight from the urn that everyone was drinking. Really, it was that strong. I just drank juice. To this day I drink what the family calls "Coffee Water". That's just water flavored with some coffee.
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,433
43,872
Alaska
I think the worst I ever drank was during the old days at Moose Camp. My dad has the lowest bar for coffee I've ever seen, and he would store these plastic jars of value brand grounds (knock off Folger's) out there in our "cache" that would be dipped into for years and years and years without ever being replaced. Sitting in the cache through dozens of freeze/thaw cycles and a decade past the expiration dates. When I would inquire about the expiration dates, he would simply reply "It doesn't matter, it's safe because you boil it."

When flying in and out, it is best to make one good supply run that can last for years so you don't have to carry new supplies in each season, for sure, but those coffee grounds were almost white by the time we stopped drinking them and they tasted like pure percolated death.

After I got my pilot's license the first supply run I made out there had a large jetboil, a massive insulated french press, a hand grinder, and vacuum sealed whole Sumatran beans. Getting up at 4:45 am is much easier out there these days, and as a bonus, none of these lazy old farts can manage to sleep through the noise of the hand grinder so we are all in the field by sunrise :)
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,211
60,622
The submarine service in the USN is promised premium food, and maybe that extends to coffee. I didn't even consider it, or the requirement for extending your hitch, or being released at the bottom of a tall water tower to swim to the surface to simulate escaping a disabled submarine. Like the tank corps, the submarine service favors people of compact stature, which I am not. Or at least, I wasn't.
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,433
43,872
Alaska
Navy coffee has gotten significantly better in just my 19 yrs. Now I'm just a small ship Sailor, Frigates and now LCS, but I have heard that on Carriers they actually have baristas trained by Starbucks.

The ought to for chrissakes. People willing to put their life on hold or at risk to protect the rest of us you would think the least we could do is get them some damn decent coffee.
 

JMcQ

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 9, 2019
850
4,264
47
Atlantic Beach, FL
It's taken quite a while. For so many years the Navy supply system only had crap coffee, so most commands either bought good coffee with morale and recreation money or individual Sailors put in money and bought coffee.
 
My natural father was killed in Vietnam, so my adopted father that married my mother was half Korean. I grew up working in his jewelry store, and he would make the coffee at the buttcrack of dawn and keep it cooking all day long. There was no such thing as premium coffee in those days. Coffee that these Millennials scoff at, WAS the premium coffee of the day.

But, all of the jewelers working in the back with me would always refer to my dad as Detective Yemana from Barney Miller, because the coffee was always so terribly thick like syrup, and Yemana was always catching hell from everyone on the show.
It would get you so jittery that when you were setting small stones, they would seemingly become like Mexican jumping beans.
1583859090698.png
 

adui

Can't Leave
Aug 26, 2019
431
1,318
Mesa Arizona
I was in Food Service when I was in the Air Force and we used to clean the grills with the coffee straight from the urn that everyone was drinking. Really, it was that strong. I just drank juice. To this day I drink what the family calls "Coffee Water". That's just water flavored with some coffee.
LOL! We used the koolaid like drink we called Bug Juice to clean the brass fire nozzles (and just about anything else not of iron / steel that could corrode). As for the coffee: I avoided mess decks coffee at all costs. It was made perhaps once or twice a day in these huge pots that would sit and cook ALL DAY.

We had a 30 cup percolator in Sonar Control. That's where I got my coffee. Even that was only marginal thanks to the water. On my first ship we once went a week drinking JP5 tasting water. That's Jet fuel for those who do not know. Even the thick coffee we drank couldn't cut that taste enough!
 
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madox07

Lifer
Dec 12, 2016
1,823
1,692
Now I don't mean no disrespect to any of our US members, but during my six year stay in the US I had the worst coffee in my whole life. The worse was the seven eleven coffee, which was more like a very acidic coffee flavored tea. Second worst was my college cafeteria, which was a tad stronger, but just as long and flavorless. Your Starbucks or Seattle's Best was somewhat better, although I was hardly a sweet latte type of guy ever, so I guess the ristreto from there had to be enough to quench my taste (the whole fair market, gourmet coffee they sell nowadays wasn't an option back then). At home, if I didn't manage to find any whole bean, freshly roasted, I was content with Louisiana Community Coffee, which was pretty decent if you brewed it Turkish style, as Espresso pots were nowhere in sight in the Texas stores I looked for them and espresso makers, the fancy electric ones, were beyond my means. Sometimes I would find Cafe du Mond in Vietnamese/far east type of shops, that was pretty decent also if you can find the variety without chicory. The little screw in infusers were available also, and pretty cheap. I believe that french presses were also available at Starbucks ... but then again I am an espresso corto type of guy, not quite into long coffee.

Reading some of your stories regarding military coffee is quite a shock, I had a taste of military food and I was under the impression that uncle Sam took good care of its grunts since "an army marches foremost on its stomach" ... well except for those rations they issued while soldiers were deployed .. that just tasted like 100% synthetic food with a high caloric value. So by extension, I thought coffee would be good, tasty and strong.

alaskanpiper what your dad did is simply sacrilege. Ground from previously brewed coffee? Mold? Yuck.... I feel for you mate !
 
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alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,433
43,872
Alaska
what your dad did is simply sacrilege. Ground from previously brewed coffee? Mold? Yuck.... I feel for you mate !

Haha, no no, not previously brewed grounds, just pre-ground beans. Sorry, misleading terminology there. That I would surely never have agreed to drink, hahaha.
 
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Akousticplyr

Lifer
Oct 12, 2019
1,155
5,713
Florida Panhandle
It's taken quite a while. For so many years the Navy supply system only had crap coffee, so most commands either bought good coffee with morale and recreation money or individual Sailors put in money and bought coffee.

Every squadron I’ve been in has had a monthly Coffee Mess Fee of around $5-10. In fact, a standard job title for a brand new junior officer Is the dreaded “coffee mess officer.” At the end of your tour you stroke a check for your farewell plaque, picture, swag etc. and close out your coffee mess bill.
It is typically contracted out to the same companies that do coffee deliveries to businesses etc.
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,211
60,622
Some food and beverage is ecstasy, and other is horrible, but it seems coffee in all its forms has the greatest range of good to bad, perhaps because it is so general. There is some tea that is not good, but not compared to really bad coffee. Conversely, an exquisite cup of coffee is just that.
 
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