@hakchuma time to move to the garage. I have a one and a half garage and it's now become my second home
Marriage + PAD + TAD
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My wife doesn't bring money into the house, but she has the much bigger responsibility of taking care of our two boys. I make a comfortable living, and I don't deny her occasional indulgences, because I feel she's worth every penny. My family has plenty of food to eat, a modest, safe place to live, and clothes to wear. After I'm done making sure I take care of what I need to, I have no problem pulling the trigger on occasional purchase for me be it a large TAD order, or an occasional pipe that rarely costs more than $50.
What it boils down to is that I'm taking care of my responsibilities first, so when it comes time to buy more tobacco or a pipe. I dont have buyers remorse, and I dont feel the need to justify my spending. So far, there hasn't been any complaints, so I think I'm on the right track.
What it boils down to is that I'm taking care of my responsibilities first, so when it comes time to buy more tobacco or a pipe. I dont have buyers remorse, and I dont feel the need to justify my spending. So far, there hasn't been any complaints, so I think I'm on the right track.
See this is one of the reason I don't ever want to get married, even if for some reason I do, I'd keep my money separate from my wife's.
I'm currently single. I always tell single men "get your toys and establish your identity before you get the woman." Then you make it clear to anyone you may end up with that this you, with these interests and tastes. If you start changing in order to get or hang on to love, you're living someone else's version of your life, not your own.
She needs to know what sort man you are in order to love you for yourself. If you've not let her know who you really are, then she has fallen in love with someone she only thinks she knows.
She needs to know what sort man you are in order to love you for yourself. If you've not let her know who you really are, then she has fallen in love with someone she only thinks she knows.
Can't have put it better than maxx did here, we are constantly told to change ourselves and fix our "flaws" to please our women. But if we cannot even be ourselves even around the ones we love and who love us, then that's not really love.
As a divorcee now in a serious "live-in" relationship I would echo some of the advice here. Be yourself otherwise you will start having to hide your purchases in the future and the whole thing can get out of hand. Be honest about who you are and of course some compromise is always needed in a relationship, but to change in anything other than a very minor way to please someone else will end in disaster. It happened to me!!
With finances I have found, after living with 4 different partners in my life, a perfect solution! (for me anyway!) Have a joint account that all the bills and rent go out of but income doesn't automatically go in. You put in an agreed amount (different amounts each if your incomes are very different) to cover food, rent, bills etc. A private account each for spending money (on whatever the hell I want as long as I've put in my bill/rent money!) and a joint savings account to build up for vacations, home improvement, a rainy day etc.
Here you have
1. a level of financial independence for yourself and your wife/partner
2. regular standing orders into the joint = guarantee the bills always get paid before you spend it all!
3. a sense that you're both contributing, saving for the future yet still both get to spend your own money how you wish!
Simple! - World war three averted, TAD and PAD funded to a budget, and happy you and happy wife! :D :
:
With finances I have found, after living with 4 different partners in my life, a perfect solution! (for me anyway!) Have a joint account that all the bills and rent go out of but income doesn't automatically go in. You put in an agreed amount (different amounts each if your incomes are very different) to cover food, rent, bills etc. A private account each for spending money (on whatever the hell I want as long as I've put in my bill/rent money!) and a joint savings account to build up for vacations, home improvement, a rainy day etc.
Here you have
1. a level of financial independence for yourself and your wife/partner
2. regular standing orders into the joint = guarantee the bills always get paid before you spend it all!
3. a sense that you're both contributing, saving for the future yet still both get to spend your own money how you wish!
Simple! - World war three averted, TAD and PAD funded to a budget, and happy you and happy wife! :D :
:
I have read all your comments, and there are lots of things very well said, but I still think no matter what you do,hide your purchases or not, lie about the value or tell the bare truth...expecting your better half to understand why you must have 50 ( and more coming) and not just 2 or 3 pipes is simply a utopia. As your collection grows, there will come a time when your wife will be unhappy, simply because she will not be able to justify you throwing money for new pipes,when you already have more than enough.It is inevitable.
So you might be in the dog house, and maybe not. I'm not sure of what you think you are guilty, outsmarting your not yet wife, or the keepers of the marriage rule book? You're not married yet and it's your money (at the moment). So from where I sit, no hit, no foul. Unless you spend the honeymoon budget, in which case you'll be lucky if it's only the doghouse. You have open communication with each other, right? If so you will deal with this, possibly have a good laugh over it, and move on. If your communication isn't open, cancel the marriage, because you have no sound basis for a successful marriage.
I don't get this. You want to marry a woman and seem to resent her. Why not find someone who makes more money than you so you wont have second thoughts. It is all about $$$, right? If this is an et seq marriage, Cosmic's take and $$$ decisions with his second wife make sense. I really feel bad for the woman you are marrying.
I'm in the don't lie no matter what camp.
Best of luck.
OK, I am lucky in that my wife doesn't get in my way nor I in hers.
Best of luck.
OK, I am lucky in that my wife doesn't get in my way nor I in hers.
(Ha ha. I like this thread...some funny stuff.
Dutch65: Good thinking but what happens when you appear before her with your new unannounced pipe? How do you explain this? )
redpanda, you can just say that your local tobacconist has a 24hr test drive program, and that you are thinking about making a purchase. This will help to feel her out, as well as get an idea how many pair of shoes you are in for.
Dutch65: Good thinking but what happens when you appear before her with your new unannounced pipe? How do you explain this? )
redpanda, you can just say that your local tobacconist has a 24hr test drive program, and that you are thinking about making a purchase. This will help to feel her out, as well as get an idea how many pair of shoes you are in for.
Sounds right to me.
If there is worry about how this will change with the marriage, maybe it's time to talk that over. "I have an addiction..."
"But honey, I talked to all the guys on the Internet and they said it would work!"
That might not be exactly what you thought you sounded like but it ^^^ is what she'll have heard. Lol
If she's ok with your pipe smoking hobby now then you should be able to maintain it and you should encourage her to get into a hobby. Like cooking!
That might not be exactly what you thought you sounded like but it ^^^ is what she'll have heard. Lol
If she's ok with your pipe smoking hobby now then you should be able to maintain it and you should encourage her to get into a hobby. Like cooking!
And it's even harder to explain why you are in bed with a new unannounced pipe.
"Honey, this is exactly what it looks like."
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