If you're looking to get billows of smoke during your lighting up and you think you're overdoing it, you're probably overdoing it. Use enough flame to get an allover char going with a few puffs, then gently sip the smoke.
Full sized bowls being smoked in 15 to 25 minutes fairly screams puffing too fast and too hard. Usually, an ashy taste is significant of the bowl being smoked to hard and too hot. Slow down. Don't worry about keeping the bowl lit. If it goes out, relight. There are no gold stars or merit badges rewarded for smoking a chamber load to the bottom with one light. Generally, slow smoking provides better flavors. You want the tobacco to barely simmer.
After enjoying pipes for the better part of 49 years, there are a few things that I've found have served me well, such a getting the tobacco to a proper moisture level before packing. Most tobacco is too moist for smoking straight from the tin.
If you're smoking Virginias, Va/Pers, etc, just shy of bone dry is the sweet spot. That's dry and crispy at the edges, no sense of cool moisture in the tobacco against your skin when you squeeze it, but still pliant, not crumbly.
With English blends a little more moisture isn't going to cause a problem, though again, too much moisture and flavors will be muted and you'll have a soggy smoke. English are the easiest to smoke with their robust flavors, and most forgiving of poor to middling technique.
Aros do better with some dry time, but not the bone dry level of dry time as it can cause some loss of the topping's flavor.
Don't get too caught up on "methods". They're OK, as far as they go, but unnecessary. People enjoyed their pipes for centuries without "methods". "Methods" are an option, not an essential. Experiment and find your own personal method.
YouTube videos are not exempt from Sturgeon's Law, which is, "90% of everything is crap." Choose your advice carefully. I am heartened that there now exist some not horribly ignorant YouTube pipesmoking videos. There are even a few that are pretty good.
The suggestion that you lay off and give your mouth and tongue a break is gold. Smoking a pipe is supposed be a relaxing activity. If it isn't then it's time to take a break. An enjoyable smoke while feeling frustrated, well that isn't going to happen.