May I tell you all a dog story?
When I first started sating Mrs Cosmic, I invited her to join me camping out at a state park. She shows up with luggage and this new puggle puppy, Rocket, super cute. But, she had put a sweater on him all covered in sparkles and fuzzies. He was a brand new pup and she had to hold him. So, she has to drag a piece pf luggage to the bathhouse to wash her face, and she left me holding this supper cute effeminately dressed mongrel pup.
She is gone for EVER. And, as I’m setting around the fire waitin, holding this pup, a group of 20somethings, drunk, red necked, and rowled up, out stealing firewood from my fellow campers. This sorta shit gets my blood riled up, so I stand up and call these men out. “Leave that firewood now, yon redneck. Tend your site better next time, and stop your thieving.”
They were all riled, and ready to make a fight out of it. But, when I stand up, holding this fluffy glittery thing of girliness in my hand, pointing dirrectly at them menacingly, for some strange reason, they decided to just give up. They put the wood back, and apologized as they walked back heads hanging low. All the fight drained out the them. I have no idea why. But, I like to tell that story, and when future Mrs Cosmic got back to the canpsite, I said, “take this shit off that goddamn dog, or I’m going to throw him at the next person I have to fend off from stealing firewood.” It took her 9 years of dating to marry me, and I blame Rocket for that.
