It's 3:30am & I Disapprove

[iamn8]

Damn I REALLY wish I could. I loved working out. Until things improve a bit I just can't. I've posted before, but here's my back I was once a semi-pro cyclist and VERY into physical fitness, but after a decade and nine major back surgeries, it just ain't happening.

 

[iamn8]

This was me eight years ago, right before my back went FUBAR and everything ended.

 

[deathmetal]

I will be discussing how Hypnosis and Magick have been eternal lovers and why many Ceremonial Magicians have denied this for over a 100 years.

Unleash the subconscious mind!

 

[indianafrank]

Nate, you look young in that pic. How old were you when you lost your hair?
Or is it a young guy thing? Shaving the noggin? If so, why do guys with great heads of hair, decide to shave the noggin bald?
Maybe this should be a new thread.
Also Nate, as I've mentioned before, sorry to hear about that back. My back is bad...but the situation you have tops mine. Hope someday you can find relief.

 

[iamn8]

I was around 28'ish when it began to fade. I figured if God was gonna take it, I'd get there first and cut it all off happily. I was thrilled to do so, a daily maintenance routine id never worry about again. Never considered appearance really.

I feel everyone else's pain when it comes to bad backs. It's a brutal thing to live with. I had l1-2 mostly removed from injury. As with a ten story building, remove half the first floor and eventually that buildings coming down. That's what happened I really had no options. One day I couldn't walk and surgery was only option. I tell everyone to avoid all surgery except as last result. Once surgery begins things won't ever be the same again

 

[indianafrank]

Nate, glad you didn't take my comment seriously. I'm bald to, well almost. Started when I was 17. Now that I'm 69, the few strands I have are turning grey.
Count your blessings for the things you have in life that are good. I'm sure there are some.
I like your attitude given the bs you've been dealt. Hang tough!

 

[iamn8]

Thanks frank! No offense taken. Humor received
All things considered I'm quite lucky. All that truly matters in life are friends, family, and health and I have... damn... maybe things are worse than I thought.

 

[jvnshr]

May I ask the reason of the back pain and the surgery?

 

[iamn8]

The original injury was in 1993'ish. I attempted to play rugby for the Deerslayers at Montana State University. I did NOT go well. I received a hit to my lower back causing a severe rupture at L5-4. I lost total feeling in half my body. Received an MRI and had to fly home the next day for emergency surgery in Alabama. I returned to school six weeks later with no pain. Never gave it anymore thought till I awoke one morning in 2005 and couldn't walk. I stumbled to the bathroom and blacked out cold, ripping towel holders out of the drywall on my way to the floor. What followed was a series of surgeries that didn't help, one of which made it worse.

 

[jvnshr]

Damn, I don't know what to say. My mom had same rupture on her neck, she couldn't move her left arm and it was very very painful thing to live with. The only solution was a surgery and she healed fast. She was doing fine until few weeks ago. Now she has 2 different ruptures on her neck and she is having same kind of pains again. Those nerve pains are like nothing else. I wish the best for you Nate, I hope you can heal faster than ever after that surgery. Please keep us (at least me) informed. Cheers brother.

 

[iamn8]

So sorry to hear about your mother. I've never had damage to my neck, but I suspect it would be even less enjoyable than damage to the lumbar. Fentanyl patches have literally saved my life and made it tolerable. I've tried every pain med out there. The patch is always "turned on" and requires simply changing it every 72hrs vs taking pills night/day. If she's uses meds, recommend she asks her doctor about Duragesic Patches. For me, only thing that worked.

Thanks for the kind wishes! I'm certain I'll be bored and on my iPhone while laying at The Hospital Inn this Monday/Tuesday

 

[jollyroger]

I feel your pain Nate.

I had a two year romance with PTSD induced insomnia that started around six months after the completion of my last tour of duty. I'd average half an hour of sleep every other day, and even then the circumstances in which I'd wake up in kept me well afraid of sleeping again. My brain would fire off warning signals to my body whenever sleep crept too close, and adrenalin and heart rate would shoot to the roof. When I did doze off out of exhaustion, I'd wake up in sheer terror and usually vomit, in a wicked state where my body was awake but my mind wouldn't pull the veil back, and so it was like waking from a bad nightmare only to discover that it is in fact really happening, only that in reality I was on my bedroom floor.
Like a very bad trip that repeatedly takes you through your worst moments and manages to convince you that it is in fact real. What was worse was having to explain it to family, and feeling that you've crossed the apeshit line.
I still average only 3 hours of sleep a night, but the other symptoms only rarely rear their head, and after sleeping 3 hours throughout service and having a newborn son, I figure I've grown accustomed to dealing with it. And coffee addiction helps.

 

[iamn8]

Yuck Roger... That's far more brutal than mine. Luckily mine has no traumatic source like that. Hopefully time will temper your insomnia. If nothing else, that newborn son will wear you out so much that sleep will be blissful vs traumatic. At least I hope that's to be so. Thanks for your service and wish you restful nights!