On my low-nicotine pure Virginias that I smoke 80% of the day, I do not smoke for relaxation. I keep a pipe burning out of a psychological, physiological, social, habit/addiction. Not one of these times do I strike fire to leaf out of any need to "relax." I will smoke my pipe while riding my bike, or before I start my jog for the day. This is me, but there is not enough nicotine in these to relax me... instead, VaPers act on my body like a stimulant, and do not relax me one bit. I actually get a buzzing feeling in my body. Mark Ryan had said that perique has other chemicals in it that stimulate the way the body uses nicotine. The process of pressing and fermenting actually lowers the nicotine in the leaf, and replaces them with other more complex chemicals. He had also said that a large percentage of people are immune to any affects of perique, so...
But, before I go to bed, I grab a heavy hitter, like Dark Flake, Nightcap, or a twist, and smoking it literally makes my eyelids start to get heavy, and sometimes I have fallen asleep in the middle of a bowl.
And, at times, I will grab a heavy hitter cigar like a GTO Painkiller, or a Kentucky Fire Cure stick, Gurkha Ninja, or another dark wrapped leaf cigar. It has the exact same effect for me of lulling me off.
So, for me it is the tobacco. However, if you are smoking a codger blend or just rummaging through average tobaccos (strength-wise) maybe you are just relying on ritual for your relaxation. At first I thought it was ritual for me also, but as I have delved deeper into my pipe experience, I have shaken off most (if not all) of the rituals. Screw them, for me it is all about the smoke... for me... for someone else it can be anything, ritual, just holding a pipe, or some other aspect of the hobby/habit/addiction.
But, if left to describe what the pipes and tobacco means to me, without having ever read that the forum suggests that pipe smoking is relaxing, the idea of relaxing would probably never come to mind, except on those anxious days where I have got to get my pipe packed and lit before I KILL someone, then dammit, cramming the tobacco, fire, fire, fire, puff puff, ahhhh, no one dies... Other than that, only the highest nicotine tobaccos really bring me to a state close to relaxing. YMMV