There are some very talented pipe smokers out there writing tobacco reviews. People who take the time to smoke and get to know a blend and then thoughtfully describe it's nuanced flavors and aromas in detail. We often find a reviewer whose tastes align with our own and we begin to rely on their reviews to guide us in purchasing new blends to try.
Some seem to have been gifted with super human abilities to taste. I'd wager they can probably tell you what the guy running the flake press had for breakfast the day a blend was pressed.
Well, I won't do any of those things. What I will do is look at tin art and then jump to wild conclusions about a tobacco based solely on the art on the can. So without further ado, let's jump right in to the first installment ofTrustworthy Tobacco Review Co. tobacco reviews.
War Horse Bar
View attachment 54293
The tin art displays a red label with the words "War Horse Bar, plug pipe tobacco 1.75oz" in white letters.
A prancing red horse takes center stage.
We'll assume the red label is indicative of the bloodshed of war. This leads be to believe this plug will be rife with chaotic, and often painful flavors. I believe as we dive deeper into the nomenclature of the blend itself, this will ring true.
In order for us to understand the name "War Horse
Bar" and the cut of the tobacco I think we need to
start with some science, specifically biology.
Now my scientific observations begin where all
good science starts, with something a buddy of
mine once told me. Me and a buddy of mine were talking one day about identifying different animals by their scat. He told me that you can tell the difference
between the scat of a buck, and a doe whitetail deer
by the size and density of their scat. He explained
the the scat of a doe will be looser and less dense
than that of a buck. The buck scat, he pointed out
would be tight little pellets. His explanation for this
phenomenon was that the buck is always on high
alert and never relaxes, therefore the tighter more
compressed scat.
Now, following this logic we can safely assume that
the scat of a war horse would also be more dense
and compressed due to his high stress job and
would not be akin to the looser "horse apples" were
used to seeing from the lackadaisical barnyard
types. Hence the bar, or plug cut.
As far as flavor, I'd imagine that this bar is the
embodiment of the manure, and barnyard flavors
we often hear cigar smokers wax eloquently about.
Lastly let's address burn rate and smoking
mechanics. I've lit dried cow patties on fire and they burn like a
road flare. I'd imagine this to be exactly the same
with a litte dry time, but since it is a bar produced
under pressure of wartime, I'd also imagine it
would burn slow.
We can also safely address War Horse Green in this
review as well.
View attachment 54294
Exactly the same as the original but much fresher
and probably requires twice the amount of dry
time.
4 Star blends for lovers of Barnyard and Manure
cigar flavors and fans of plugs.
Thank you for tuning into the first installment of
Trustworthy Tobacco Review Co. tobacco reviews.
Disclaimer: I have never smoked this tobacco and
all the opinions stated above are 100% satire and for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy responsibly and with adult supervision.
I just ordered 100 tins each of this manure to start my cellar! I can't wait to taste what the guy running the press had for breakfast that morning! Wait a minute.... 
