First off, Happy Birthday
I can't say that I know what you are going through, but my wife was a trauma nurse and I have heard some stories over the years. She finally gave it up last year and went to work as an HR director.
Wow... That's a hard load to carry man... I wish you well, and I'm sure you did everything years of training and practice taught you. So don't go to hard on yourself, you did what you're trained to do.
Well I'm good and we'll pissed and am grateful for autocorrect. Tomorrow is one of my off days. I'll be putting up a new TV stand while drinking some pints. It's all for me grog, me noggin noggin grog! All for me beer and tobacco. I sent all of me tin on the lassies drinking gin. Across the western ocean I must wander