Yesterday afternoon I lost my best friend of over 20 years, he lost his fight against lung cancer... At 4:40 pm he took his last breath as I held his hand.
I can feel my heart broken and truly heavy but my head feels like its in a fog... Not sure if I'm in denial or what but I keep thinking that I'm going to go see him at the hospice but then I remember... My friend doesn't exist anymore and then my eyes get watery and back to the fog.
This was the man that was at the birth of my kids, hell he was the first person after my wife and I, to hold my daughter when she was born 18 years ago. We helped Escher through the hard times that we each had and celebrated the good one. We traveled across this country several times together and spend countless hours just sitting around smoking and talking about politics, religion, philosophy and just some of the stupidest shit that you can imagine two knuckleheads could come up with. We called each other stupid and we looked like two grumpy old men when we were out in public, lol, in fact we always thought we would grow old and be THOSE old men sitting around bickering and yelling at everyone.
He was diagnosed in December 2013 with stage 4 lung cancer, I still remember that night, he came right from the hospital and I could see the fear in his eyes... I obviously knew something was wrong... He'd been in allot of pain and had grown less and less active the last few years.
At that time I converted the garage into a bedroom for him and he moved in... And for the next 19 months, my family and I took care of him, took him to chemo, doctors appointments... But the last few months he deteriorated quite a bit and I just couldn't take care of him the way he needed, he was 6' 3" and the last week or so I carried him to the latrine, yeah he was 120 lbs... He was basically bones... So three weeks ago we talked and decided it was time to head into hospice since the doctor said all they could do was pain management ... He went in and I was there everyday... I really thought we had at least a couple of months, but it turned into 3 weeks. Both his mother and I were with him during his final breaths and he held my hand to the end when he just slipped away.
I don't know...I feel like I'm just rambling . I'm truly sorry to unburden myself here, but since I moved to CA I haven't made any friends here and I don't want to burden my wife on top of the sadness she's already feeling.
R.I.P. Robert "Stupid" Felts... I'm just glad your no longer in pain.
I can feel my heart broken and truly heavy but my head feels like its in a fog... Not sure if I'm in denial or what but I keep thinking that I'm going to go see him at the hospice but then I remember... My friend doesn't exist anymore and then my eyes get watery and back to the fog.
This was the man that was at the birth of my kids, hell he was the first person after my wife and I, to hold my daughter when she was born 18 years ago. We helped Escher through the hard times that we each had and celebrated the good one. We traveled across this country several times together and spend countless hours just sitting around smoking and talking about politics, religion, philosophy and just some of the stupidest shit that you can imagine two knuckleheads could come up with. We called each other stupid and we looked like two grumpy old men when we were out in public, lol, in fact we always thought we would grow old and be THOSE old men sitting around bickering and yelling at everyone.
He was diagnosed in December 2013 with stage 4 lung cancer, I still remember that night, he came right from the hospital and I could see the fear in his eyes... I obviously knew something was wrong... He'd been in allot of pain and had grown less and less active the last few years.
At that time I converted the garage into a bedroom for him and he moved in... And for the next 19 months, my family and I took care of him, took him to chemo, doctors appointments... But the last few months he deteriorated quite a bit and I just couldn't take care of him the way he needed, he was 6' 3" and the last week or so I carried him to the latrine, yeah he was 120 lbs... He was basically bones... So three weeks ago we talked and decided it was time to head into hospice since the doctor said all they could do was pain management ... He went in and I was there everyday... I really thought we had at least a couple of months, but it turned into 3 weeks. Both his mother and I were with him during his final breaths and he held my hand to the end when he just slipped away.
I don't know...I feel like I'm just rambling . I'm truly sorry to unburden myself here, but since I moved to CA I haven't made any friends here and I don't want to burden my wife on top of the sadness she's already feeling.
R.I.P. Robert "Stupid" Felts... I'm just glad your no longer in pain.
