I Got A Letter From The IRS

[cigrmaster]

Anytime I see anything from the IRS I expect I will have to give them money as I have been making quarterly tax payments since 1990 since I opened my first business. Then started getting 1099's for the private lending I was doing and I always was getting a K! from other investments.

It was a rare thing that my taxes were not done perfectly as I have had the same accountant for 24 years now and in 27 years I have never been audited.
So I open the letter and to my shock they said call this number and you will get a refund.

Naturally I figured it was a scam but I called anyway and it was true, I had a refund of 1034.00 coming my way and I was in shock. The only thing I can figure is that when I retired and took my Social Security I must have paid to much from my 1099 private lending gig.

So after all these years I have a check of totally found money and it is definitely going to buy pipes. If a certain aged blend of tobacco hits the market at the right price I would use a little of that money for it.

I have been scouring the net as this money is burning a hole in my pocket something fierce. I really want 3 great pipes for the grand but would settle for 2 great pipes. I will not spend 1000.00 for one pipe as I know quite well how those smoke and you cannot smoke grain.

Does anyone have any suggestions for American artisans that you own and are really happy with.

If anyone cares, I avoided audits buy putting red herrings into my return. For example, I was entitled to a home office deduction for 15 or so years that was worth some money. I never took it. I also did another couple of things so that if an IRS agent looked at my return, he or she would have considered me and my accountant to be morons. Of course they never told what deductions I could have taken, heaven forbid they do the right things. I basically had them looking at one hand while the other was in a completely different ball game. They must have laughed their asses off when they saw my return. I believe I had the last laugh times ten on them. One thing we made sure we never did was crossing the line where you could get fines and penalties which I was prepared to pay, but I never did anything that could land me in jail. There is no amount of money worth going to jail for.

 

[anotherbob]

Yeah I had the same thing happen a few years ago. Had the IRS tell me they owed me money. I was expecting a repeat of what happened with my local taxes. I got a letter telling me that my job was stupid and didn't give them the right amount of money and then I had to send them 10 bucks every month (for two years of dramatic under payments).
Though here is an annoying tax fact. Most countries filing is optional. You either get your refund or a bill and then you can go over it if you want. And usually people don't cause they come to the same conclusion unless they have extra weird taxes. America was going to do the same thing and then the tax preparation companies lobbied that bill out of existence. Oh and it's a bipartisan issue as in both parties took the bribe I mean the lobby money.

 

[jguss]

I like having an accountant handle my return; like Harris I"ve been using the same firm for decades. That way if there are any questions, and there sometimes are (usually about stupid things the Service should have already seen in the filing), my accountant fields them without any need for my involvement. It's worth the money I pay for the peace of mind: someone else is positive the return is right, and someone else goes to bat if there is any need. That's not to say I don't scrutinize my return before filing it. My name is on the damn thing and I typically tick and tie every number. But then I have trust issues.

That said the tax reform bill effective in 2018 simplified most returns significantly (including mine) by eliminating the need to itemize for the overwhelming majority of taxpayers. At the State level it's another matter since most States don't completely follow Federal definitions of income. Now that I think about it the few questions that have popped up over the years were almost entirely from the State (and all handled by my accountant).

As for having the whole thing processed by the Feds so that there's no need to file a return, honestly I wouldn't trust them. It's not so much that I think they'd deliberately cheat as it is the asymmetrical incentive they'd have: if you owe them they'd chase you, if they owe you they might or might not bother to tell you. And of course it's always a mistake to rely on someone else where your money is concerned; nobody else has the same motivation you do to make sure everything is absolutely correct.

 

[cigrmaster]

I like having an accountant handle my return; like Harris I"ve been using the same firm for decades. That way if there are any questions, and there sometimes are (usually about stupid things the Service should have already seen in the filing), my accountant fields them without any need for my involvement. It's worth the money I pay for the peace of mind: someone else is positive the return is right, and someone else goes to bat if there is any need. That's not to say I don't scrutinize my return before filing it. My name is on the damn thing and I typically tick and tie every number. But then I have trust issues.

That said the tax reform bill effective in 2018 simplified most returns significantly (including mine) by eliminating the need to itemize for the overwhelming majority of taxpayers. At the State level it's another matter since most States don't completely follow Federal definitions of income. Now that I think about it the few questions that have popped up over the years were almost entirely from the State (and all handled by my accountant).

As for having the whole thing processed by the Feds so that there's no need to file a return, honestly I wouldn't trust them. It's not so much that I think they'd deliberately cheat as it is the asymmetrical incentive they'd have: if you owe them they'd chase you, if they owe you they might or might not bother to tell you. And of course it's always a mistake to rely on someone else where your money is concerned; nobody else has the same motivation you do to make sure everything is absolutely correct.

I .learned from my father who owned his own corporate law firm for over 40 years. He also had a masters in taxation. He told me to never do my own taxes and to find a good accountant who has the guts to go up to the fine lines in returns. When it was tax time we would figure out what games we would play and which ones to avoid. My old man told me to never worry about fines or penalties because if you did your returns with the right red herrings you would never get audited and he was right.

For his complex business deals he had a special accountant whose job was to make sure no one could go to jail. A great accountant is worth their weight in gold.

 

[mso489]

Money back from the IRS????? I'm surprised you've regained consciousness after that jolt. I'd be afraid they'd want it back. But I like your plan to buy pipes and maybe choice leaf. Nothing like a windfall for a pipe purchase. That's how I bought my Ser Jacopo, enhanced by a sale at SP, so I couldn't touch the price today for any SJ new or as an estate pipe. Happy hunting. I like to start with a list of candidate pipes and then narrow it down over a week or two. I like to buy them one at a time, for focus.

 

[Dr. Van Loafer]

I have not purchased a pipe from JM Boswell, but have heard great things about their pipes. Might be worth a look on Monday’s at 8:30pm. Oh that is right now!

 

[kola]

I was afraid to even read this post. Those three letters make my bungholio pucker up.

I can't recommend any pipe brands or carvers but if it were me I'd blow the dough on vintage tobaccos. But you probably already have 50 tins of every blend ever made since 1959..or so.

 

[AppalachianPipe92]

Lookin forward to whatever you decide on. I just know it'll be a looker.
I'm waiting on a few pieces from carvers I've never commissioned before, but their reputations give me confidence. Curious to see who you end up with.

Congrats on the surprise.

 

[Uruss]

Give Eltang a look...you won't regret it.

 

[Jacob74]

Congratulations! I hope you find some lovely pipes with your windfall (of your own money). Cheers!

 

[kcghost]

If you want excitement just recall the first time they said you were going to be audited.

 

[shanez]

I have been scouring the net as this money is burning a hole in my pocket something fierce. I really want 3 great pipes for the grand but would settle for 2 great pipes. I will not spend 1000.00 for one pipe as I know quite well how those smoke and you cannot smoke grain.

Does anyone have any suggestions for American artisans that you own and are really happy with.

I know you already have some fantastic pipes by American artisans but if you don't have any by Doug Finlay I'd highly recommend you check him out.

I'm up to 5 or 6 of his pipes and couldn't be happier.

 

[cigrmaster]

Thanks for the suggestions guys it is appreciated. I just looked at the mail from yesterday and there was another letter from the IRS. I figured they were going to tell me they made a mistake but now they are saying I didn't cash a check from 2020 and they are sending another . They didn't say for how much and I have no what it could be. The check I have in my hand turned out to be 1308.00. I read it wrong the first time I looked at it. The only thing I can think of as to why all of a sudden I am getting checks is because I pulled all my private lending money out when Covid hit and my quarterlies I had been paying over lapped somehow. I can't believe my accountant missed this. I am going to call him and ask what is up. He will probably tell me that I am correct in my thinking. I can't believe he didn't catch it though. I am going to have to bust his balls. I am going to tell him he needs to refund the money I paid him for that year, and pretend I am pissed. I'll leave him dangling for a few minutes before I tell him I am just fucking with him.
He saved me so much over the years these checks are like missing a dollar.

I have been pining for an Eltang Saturn grade Dublin for at least a decade. I don't think even the 1308 I have will cover that pipe. If I can find a pristine Eltang estate I might do that and then have plenty for other pipes.

Shanez, thanks for the referral for Doug. I will check out his work.

 

[Searock Fan]

I would sooner have a rectal exam by Freddy Krueger than an audit from the IRS.

 

[TN Jed]

It's called intaxication. The euphoria felt when they unexpectedly give you back some of the money they took.

 

[cigrmaster]

It's called intaxication. The euphoria felt when they unexpectedly give you back some of the money they took.

Can I take a pill to get that euphoria?

 

[TN Jed]

Can I take a pill to get that euphoria?

It's a bitter pill.