So I overslept do to fighting neighbors keeping me up. I pulled into the parking lot at work with 2 minutes to spare. I'm pulling a hair tie into my hair to make up for the fact that I didn't have time to comb it, when my manager hits me on the interoffice instant message system to call me to his office....shit...what is it this time? 24 hours to train myself on a new product I don't even have access to before the calls start rolling in? Bad quality call. I start reviewing calls in my head...I haven't cussed anybody out tor told them off without the mute button on this month. What the heck does he want? I grab my headset in case I have to listen to myself taking a call(standard procedure for quality calls) and make my way over.
Manager: (sullen look)"Have a seat Josh"
me: (crap)"allright"
Manager: (same almost I hate to do this to you expression) "So I've got to talk to you about this"(starts pulling some papers out of his desk drawer)"The company did a review of the payroll for this department."
Me
well F%^& it's the layoff talk)
Manager: (still the same expression) "and they were concerned with the numbers that came back. Right now your in the top 10% of the department for pay scale"
MEI've been here four gorram years and most of the department has been here less than a year I better be in the top friggin 10%)
Manager: "when compared to the industry average your making below average" (shit eating grin) "so effective immediately your receiving a $1.40 per hour raise to your base pay in order to bring you up to industry average. This will be reflected on your next paycheck, and of course your late night shift diff is calculated of this new base pay number as well as any additional pay for the hour's you work on the weekend."
Me: "do wha now"
Manager: (slides me the papers) "here's your info on it...congrats...don't say anything to anyone I've still got half the department to tell. And honestly the looks on everybody's face is the best part."
Me: "I'm not sure wether I should be happy you gave me the good news, or call you a dick for the way you did it"
So I've gotten a decent sized raise and I'm off tommorow with some extra money in my pocket. If any of you quessed that that means a celebratory trip to the B&M your absolutely correct. Watch out J.B.Hayes of Winchester Josh is coming he's gunning for your estate pipes.
Edit: I just realized this is probably better in general discussion than here so if one of you amazingly talented mods could move it, preferably without beating me about the head and shoulders too much, I would be greatly appreciative, and may even name my new pipe after you *EDIT* - Done... -Jason
Manager: (sullen look)"Have a seat Josh"
me: (crap)"allright"
Manager: (same almost I hate to do this to you expression) "So I've got to talk to you about this"(starts pulling some papers out of his desk drawer)"The company did a review of the payroll for this department."
Me
well F%^& it's the layoff talk)Manager: (still the same expression) "and they were concerned with the numbers that came back. Right now your in the top 10% of the department for pay scale"
ME
I've been here four gorram years and most of the department has been here less than a year I better be in the top friggin 10%)Manager: "when compared to the industry average your making below average" (shit eating grin) "so effective immediately your receiving a $1.40 per hour raise to your base pay in order to bring you up to industry average. This will be reflected on your next paycheck, and of course your late night shift diff is calculated of this new base pay number as well as any additional pay for the hour's you work on the weekend."
Me: "do wha now"
Manager: (slides me the papers) "here's your info on it...congrats...don't say anything to anyone I've still got half the department to tell. And honestly the looks on everybody's face is the best part."
Me: "I'm not sure wether I should be happy you gave me the good news, or call you a dick for the way you did it"
So I've gotten a decent sized raise and I'm off tommorow with some extra money in my pocket. If any of you quessed that that means a celebratory trip to the B&M your absolutely correct. Watch out J.B.Hayes of Winchester Josh is coming he's gunning for your estate pipes.
Edit: I just realized this is probably better in general discussion than here so if one of you amazingly talented mods could move it, preferably without beating me about the head and shoulders too much, I would be greatly appreciative, and may even name my new pipe after you
*EDIT* - Done... -Jason
