Humor Imitating Life

[cynicismandsugar]

During World War II, two British fighter pilots prepare for a mission, and while the first readies his emergency pack, stuffed full of flairs, supplies, and rations; the second man packs a duffle with a bottle of gin, vermouth, and a jar of olives.
"Egads, Johnson!" exclaims the first pilot, "this is a highly dangerous mission; I think you're premature, planning to celebrate our victory!"
"Don't be ludicrous," Johnson replies, as he looks over to his fellow ace, "this is my emergency rescue kit."
"Emergency rescue kit," the first pilot inquires, "how's that?"
"Well," Johnson explains, "if I'm shot down, even in the middle of nowhere, I'll take out the contents of this bag, pour it into a shaker, and begin preparing myself a cocktail... and, no sooner than I start, someone will undoubtedly come along and exclaim, 'That's no way to make a martini!'"

Like any controversial topic, this joke is my personal interpretation on a classic formula. The inevitable payoff is actually one of my all time favorite punchlines.
The reason?
You can plug virtually any topic (that involves more than two 'aficionados') into this scenario and it plays out with the same effect: Flake tobacco? ...in a olive wood poker?! ... lit with a torch lighter?! 'That's no way to enjoy a tobacco!'
Humor is one of those infuriating gifts that was bestowed upon us mere mortals, in order to cram dire conflict into big, floppy clown shoes.
Now you know my secret to getting through life, and why I'm the always the lone nitwit giggling in the corner.

 

[jvnshr]

Nice one

 

[cynicismandsugar]

Thank you, sir!

 

[hawke]

funny and true!

 

[deathmetal]

Sort of like the gag:
Q: How do you know if someone is vegan?

A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Counting on other people's reactions makes for good humor, especially when -- as usual -- archetype, stereotype and experience mostly overlap.

 

[captainprophesy]

LOL... that was funny.
Deathmetal.... Ahahaha, man that is so true!
:rofl:

 

[cynicismandsugar]

:rofl:

 

[hakchuma]

Hi. I'm vegan.

 

[cynicismandsugar]

Hi. I'm vegan.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

 

[okiescout]

"Now you know my secret to getting through life, and why I'm the always the lone nitwit giggling in the corner."
And it makes the world far more interesting. Great joke, Jeffrey.

 

[foolwiththefez]

 

[didimauw]

How do you find the vegan at the dinner party? Who cares...Lol

 

[okiescout]

I am too busy stuffing this medium rare, grain fed, rib-eye in my mouth to worry where the vegans are. Wait a minute...are vegans grain fed? :mrgreen:

 

[cynicismandsugar]

Wait a minute...are vegans grain fed? :mrgreen:

Close enough, that if times get desperate, we're starting one heck of a bonfire.