Help Me Understand

[condorlover1]

I was born without a filter - I believe now days it is described as 'frontal lobe syndrome' or something like that. Apart from the odd nut job who we have all run into on here I always find this to be a very convivial place to hang out and shoot the breeze. I think the key is not to have strong opinions on anything unless it pertains to certain tobaccos. My opinion of 'Royal Yuck' maybe wrong and to another person it could be the next 'Three Nuns' circa 1980 in terms of flavor and enjoyment. If I have learnt one thing in life it is that you can be provocative, you can be amusing, you can bend the stick as much as you like but the trick lies in not snapping the thing!

 

[cosmicfolklore]

One thing that I don't think people understand... whether you are praising someone, or talking smack about them, it does not matter. The important thing is that you are talking about them.
PT Barnum, "All publicity is good publicity."

There is NO such thing as bad publicity.

 

[anotherbob]

What is it, on social media, that can bring out the worst in us? This has been on my mind for some time, but the thread about Allen Harrelson truly got me thinking.

It is just so easy to sit behind our keyboards and type things that we would never say to anyone face to face. Or at least not without provocation. Sure, sure some will say I would say anything I type about so and so, if we met, but somehow, I doubt that.

Two reasons I think. Wait they're both distance. One we're hard to punch or really punish the way normal conversation would allow. People aren't fully real online at least our brains don't grasp that. I've also run across the following. In real life you don't share your "worst" opinion straight out so I get to see "you" as a human being first and humans are allowed to have terrible crap opinions. I find I almost just see the opinion as if I am not yelling at a person that thinks something dumb (in my opinion) or terrible but at the stupid opinion it's self. And in the most applicable to this conversation, I doubt Allen is going to read any of this.

Each of us has our preferred venue or venues to relate with others of a similar mind set. There does appear to be a great divide between the different platforms. That is something I could never and still have never wrapped my head around.

If your preference is for forums, then participate in the forums. If message boards then participate in them. If You Tube, then participate on You Tube. All have some value, and all have their shortcomings.

On each platform there will be those you get along with and those you do not.

It's a weird time to create stuff. Everyone can see it. And that creates a whole new chain of discussion. But people who'd never enter that sphere can suddenly see what's going on what you say etc....

There will be fans and detractors. You can’t please all the people all the time. You choose how to spend your time. If you don’t like XY or Z then change the channel. It’s not personal, or maybe it is, within you. Something about the way someone presents themselves just rubs you the wrong way. If that is the case, don’t watch, don’t comment, don’t make a bad thing worse.

Have to say there is a huge difference between giving an honest opinion even if it's just the guy rubs me the wrong way and I don't like this or that about him on a forum like this when someone brings them up and asks us all our opinions, versus going on Youtube and being internet mean. There is a lot of crap on Youtube that gets the don't show me option. For many reasons including the person is being as long winded and annoying as I can be on forums like this. I am not going to go on youtube and say anything unless I got the inside tea on the person being genuinely dangerous or terrible in some way that is genuinely predatory.

I truly don’t understand why it must become personal. Not all personalities get along. However, it can be kept civil.

One mans civil is another mans dishonest. And something weird about us as humans we take lots of things personally. Especially or hobbies. Even those of us that think we're not that way often will find ourselves with gatekeeper tendencies. Especially when someone talks about our hobbies (as an interest that isn't solely practical and that we choose to do at great costs [time and money mainly and burnt tongues too]). If I am thinking of the right guy. He rubbed me the wrong way (might or might not in person, have seen it go both ways on that one), but mainly irritated me by making declarative statements about pipe smokers. Which although subtle can still be taken as shots fired. Oh so Embers isn't a pipe smoker cause he drops an F-bomb when he steps in a beer trap.... (trying to use a silly example). Doesn't matter if that's what they really mean or not. It's going to irritate someone.

I spend time here to learn and whenever possible add what little knowledge I can share. When what I think I know is incorrect, I am very pleased to learn that I was wrong and gain new information.

I do spend more time on You Tube than I do other platforms. I can’t honestly say why that is. It’s a boat load less work to type a response than to create a video. Maybe I like to put a name and face to the content, as opposed to a “screen name”. Maybe I’m just lazy and it’s easy to watch and listen as opposed to reading.

Or maybe you just like it. And that's good enough.

The more I type the further I wonder where I’ve headed this little mess of thoughts.

Sweet.

It is not some “why can’t we all get along” bs. Within this platform we wouldn’t all agree on the best blend, pipe brand, or best pipe for a new pipe smoker to start with.

It does feel a bit that way. But it is a legit question. Especially when taking up a fringe hobby, like pipe smoking.

I guess I’m just a little amazed at how things need to go to personal levels when stating that we don’t like or agree with someone’s opinion or presentation, no matter the venue.

Shrug. I think making it personal isn't always bad. If we really think something is beyond the pale then it stands to reason to not worry more about being civil. I personally really hate the idea of someone being chased away from enjoying a pipe because of being told fantastical and incorrect info about the wonderful activity. Either because they take advice that leads to pain, discomfort, or a just plain unenjoyable smoke. Or because they are straight up told this isn't for you. At that point it's a bit personal. It's funny how different these two statements are. I think Bob's chocolate flake is a meh blend that just doesn't agree with my palate. And It's the worst thing ever don't touch it and if you do you're a darn idiot with a broken tongue (doesn't apply if you're talking directly to Cosmic). Oh and when you tell someone what they are or what they should be, it's suddenly already personal.
I feel like the tendency to keep things civil at all times is as damaging and disordered as the tendency for some to Troll nonstop and with the goal of ruining other peoples times for no good reason other then feeling like less of a loser for a couple of seconds. Some things don't deserve civil treatment even if generally civility is the best course.

If you can shed some light on why this is, please help this little old man understand.

Hope this helped.

 

[Hillcrest]

PT Barnum, "All publicity is good publicity."

There is NO such thing as bad publicity.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Great minds talk about ideas.
Mediocre minds talk about things.
Small minds talk about other people.

Talking about someone is merely a reflection of the speaker.

My favorite... Lions care not what the sheep say about them.

 

[woodsroad]

Great minds talk about ideas.
Mediocre minds talk about things.
Small minds talk about other people.

Talking about someone is merely a reflection of the speaker.

My favorite... Lions care not what the sheep say about them.

You talkin’ ‘bout me? Huh?

 

[olkofri]

 

[olkofri]

Great minds talk about ideas.
Mediocre minds talk about things.
Small minds talk about other people.

Überminds talk about all of them!!

 

[didimauw]

If everyone just became moderators, they wouldn't be able to post like most on here!

Why do you think @cosmicfolklore wanted out of management??? It's hard to bite your tongue at times! lol

 

[AJL67]

Some of us just don't care, if people say stupid things we are adults and we ignore it, we don't get into "fights" on the internet. If we say things people don't like we expect them to just go on with their lives, either way it's not going to phase us, you want to get your panties in a wad over someone "online" that's up to you but it just can't be healthy mentally.

I love you all, well not you, and you oh and you over there, the rest of you are good in my book.

 

[AJL67]

BTW that "you" was meant in general and not directed at anyone in particular***

 

[sablebrush52]

@briarblues
The Internet is an incredibly powerful tool. It allows ANYONE to spread his or her content much farther and wider in an instant, than was conceivable in the days before the Internet and rise of Antisocial Media. My own presence is limited to this forum and an occasional comment on Linked In.

I will confess that I was the first to compare Professor Harrelson to Foghorn Leghorn, but please remember that I work for Warner Animation, have worked with Foggy, and was quite surprised to hear anyone else who sounded like him.

I will also confess that hearing Professor Harrelson complain about the severity of his obligation to complete the paperwork required to open an online business and go on to compare his situation to that of Patrick Henry by quoting him, didn't sit well. As far as I am aware, Professor Harrelson wasn't then, nor now, facing a firing squad for his beliefs.

The Internet allows him an instant worldwide bully pulpit. Such power can be used responsibly or not, and placing ones self on some portion of the world stage will naturally invite a lot of inspection, and possibly reaction, by others. Some may agree with Professor Harrelson and others may find him outlandish. Same is probably true for most of us. So it is natural that anyone sticking his or her head up above the log may invite the occasional volley of buckshot.

This doesn't even require being on the Internet. Just standing out from the crowd is enough to inspire some people to take a shot at you. Lord knows, I've had my share of it over the years, on occasions where I was hired in a supervising or directing position there was someone looking to take me down, either out of professional jealousy, or often in hopes of advancing their own career. It didn't work, and I didn't pay much attention to it, preferring to focus on fulfilling my commitments. It's just how some people are.

I do show some restraint in "public". For one thing, I never want to telegraph a punch, and often there are overriding considerations that outweigh my antipathy toward someone. I've worked with a lot of difficult people over the years. I just try to avoid having to repeat the same experience if possible.

Some people just have no filter and wonder why they don't go far in life. Others learn how to use that "bluntness" to successful effect. Some people really do admire a bully. I can't abide one.

Being out of striking range probably does give some people license to behave badly toward others for no more reason than that it gives them some personal satisfaction to do so. There are a lot of angry aggrieved people in the world. And, the Internet provides them with almost limitless instant access to spread their grievances, legitimate or not.

 

[Hillcrest]

When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.
— Jock Falkson, quoted in
Frontline (South Africa)

 

[jpberg]

He sounds like a pompous jerk. There’s no big mystery, despite all this navel gazing.

 

[BingBong]

Ah, the flame wars of '89, those were the days. Winding up Microsoft fanboys on BBS with a 9k6 dial-up, yes.

Best simply enjoy the good, ignore the bad nowadays. With a bit of mischief, naturally.

 

[VDL_Piper]

Social media is the devil, Mike. Sit anywhere out in public and watch the world interact with one another, no one does, it's tragic. Faces are melded into screens, no one smiles and sure as hell no one says good morning or afternoon to you and no one is accountable for what they type. I had an old mate come over for coffee and he told me this story.

His granddaughter was over and has a few good friends in the same town. She said that she was going to have drinks with her girlfriends later in the evening. Evening came and she was ensconced on the lounge with a beer. My mate said "not going out with your mates tonight". Her reply was "I am, we are all catching up and having drinks on the phone". This story is true, sad but true.

Also just a little by the way. When Adam and Eve where in the garden and Eve takes a bite from the forbidden fruit, well lets wind the clock forward and I can't help but wonder why a phone product called Apple with a bite out of it was one of the great facilitators of social demise. Just my 2 cents worth and I don't believe in coincidence.

 

[Hillcrest]

IBTL:

 

[Piping Abe]

You guys got a lot of time on your hands

 

[warren]

sure as hell no one says good morning or afternoon to you

I must be the exception which proves your generality. I'm sure there a millions of others though who will tip their hat and greet someone. but, I still hold doors for the ladies, keep to the outside of the sidewalk when escorting a lady, assist the blind across a street and such. It's how I was brought up, to respect others. I may be asocial but, I'm also reasonable courteous when out among the masses. If your observation is indeed correct, Tasmania must be a "hell hole" being so full of discourteous and unaffable people.
Addendum: A sad indictment on your fellow Tasmanians.

 

[Dave760]

Great minds talk about ideas.
Mediocre minds talk about things.
Small minds talk about other people.

I have some great ideas about mediocre things we can do to small people.