Well, the casket idea is gone, unless your friends are gluttons for punishment. No nudity unless your family is very different from what mine was.
Just go with the pipe and explain that you are the last in a line of people who were once allowed to eat what they wanted, smoke in a bar, chat up a co-worker without have to then attend classes on sexual harassment in the workplace. A time when cars were big, heavy, comfortable to ride in and sucked gas that only cost pennies for a gallon. Bicycles were for kids, teenage boys wore a duck's butt on their head and girls had poodles on their dresses.
I could go on I suppose. Just tell them that you are from the past . . . when life was good!
I suppose the the Old Salt is as good an idea as any!