Fred Hanna on Radio Show of June 23, 2020

[elpfeife]

Fascinating stuff, George.

 

[pipestud]

Any of you guys like me? I'm putting on my highest topped boots that I can find! (-;

 

[jguss]

Great idea!

I'll start it here on the forum, in fact, to check the level of interest. If it's high enough I'll give Gary Schrier a call.

This will be chapter one:

------

The electroplasmonic switch capacity of a briar pipe is based upon electrically tunable exciton–plasmon interactions. It consists of a hexagonal boron nitride (hBN)-encapsulated tungsten diselenide (WSe2) monolayer on top of a single-crystalline silver substrate. The ultrasmooth silver substrate serves a dual role as the medium to support surface plasmon polaritons (SPPs) and the bottom gate electrode to tune the WSe2 exciton energy and brightness through electrostatic doping. Provided the pipe's airway is of adequate diameter, enhancing the exciton–plasmon coupling is accomplished through the implementation of a plasmonic crystal cavity on top of the hBN/WSe2/hBN/Ag heterostructure with a quality factor of at least 550. The tight confinement of the SPPs in the plasmonic cavity enables strong coupling between excitons and SPPs when the WSe2 exciton absorption is resonant with the cavity mode, leading to a vacuum Rabi splitting of up to 18 meV. Especially when the tobacco smoked is heavy in Latakia. This strong coupling can be switched off with the application of a modest thought-induced gate voltage to increase the doping density in the monolayer.

...etc. etc... all the well-known usual stuff to bring the narrative up to speed. Then, when people are on board I can really dive into it.

What do you think?

George, a most promising idea. I think the material may prove to be a little racy for profit maximization, but that's all to the good for what I have in mind. I'm pretty sure I can start a bidding war for the movie rights as long as you're willing to compromise a bit on the premise, and we can get the right cast.

First off, if we're going to get a PG rating, and I think that's entirely doable assuming a little horse trading with the MPAA, you're going to need to walk back the "exciton-plamon coupling" a bit. It's ok to mention it, suggest it, even show it; but you can't be overly explicit or we'll lose the PG rating we need to get Disney+ onboard for streaming rights down the road. Don't worry; the Director's Cut can have all the stuff we'll need to eliminate from the general release version. And it's really an opportunity, not a sacrifice: this way we get to sell the same movie twice. By the way, you might also want to rethink the "heterostructure" mentioned in your draft since nowadays that's considered at best old fashioned and at worst bigoted. Electrostatic doping, though, is perfectly ok as long as the story makes it clear it's really society's fault.

Now casting. I'm of two minds here. If we want to save money and yet still appeal to aging boomers we can use stars from their youth. As I'm sure you saw in The Irishman, IL&M's de-aging technology makes this easy, and surprisingly affordable since we'd be hiring actors whose careers dried up years ago for pennies on the dollar. If we go this route think Jacqueline Bisset as the plasmon and Donald Sutherland as the exciton. Now that Honor Blackman's gone I'm pretty sure we can get Tippi Hedren to play the substrate.

Alternatively we go contemporary. Any number of ex-Disney sitcom stars would be available on the cheap, and the cross-promotional sell would almost certainly get Disney+ onboard. The trick is to catch the actors in between rehabs.

Now George, I'm perfectly willing to admit that I have neither expertise or experience in the motion picture industry. What I do have is spunk. I think that's worth 60% of your income from this project, and I'm so sure you'll agree that I've drawn up a representation agreement and taken the liberty of signing it on your behalf. As my first act I've retained Jesse as a consultant. Jesse's take is 50% of your gross, which I'm sure upon reflection you'll agree is reasonable. To be honest he's willing to work for less than market because he likes you, and believes in the project. Or he will once I tell him what it is. Finally it wouldn't really be fair if Gary wasn't compensated for publishing and promoting the book. He gets 40% of your gross earnings, which I'm pretty sure is a pretty substantial discount from his normal fee. Whaddayathink?

 

[georged]

At last.

Damn...

Everything you said makes absolutely perfect sense to me. (I never realized you were plugged into the Movie Biz.) 10-4 on the PG rating for Disney, then a Special Edition Director's Cut afterward. Like Blade Runner. There's at least a dozen versions of that one, now. And Jackie and Don? Also perfect.

You rock, JG

I can't wait!!!

Rich and famous at last!!!

 

[jguss]

George, I can't tell you how much a difference it makes to work your butt off for someone who appreciates it. You're one client in a million.

I'm excited to tell you that we already have a fish on the line. Jesse reached out to Warner Brothers, which is widely known for its largesse, and they want to do an animated version of your story. As is customary in the industry they ask the creator (you) to put up a bond to cover incidentals they expect to incur over the next few years (in this case meaning preproduction, production, post-production, marketing, distribution, and executive overhead costs). I'll send wire transfer instructions later today by drone. Don't be surprised that the money will be routed through Yemen, Somalia, Syria, and the CAR before winding up in the Caymans. This too is industry standard, and ensures compliance with the Patriot Act. As a loyal American I know you will appreciate the necessity here.

While we're on the somewhat sordid subject of money I'm almost embarrassed to mention it, but the deposit required by your contract with me hasn't arrived. Instructions for this wire will be sent under separate cover, and for reasons you now understand the money will be routed through South Sudan, Libya, Capitol Hill in Seattle, and Iraq before winding up in Lichtenstein.

I'm excited to be working together. I think this is going to change the history of entertainment.

Jon

 

[kcghost]

Is it true when one pipe smoker light up another has to do so regardless of how far away he is?? Is this spooky action at a distance??

 

[sablebrush52]

George, I can't tell you how much a difference it makes to work your butt off for someone who appreciates it. You're one client in a million.

I'm excited to tell you that we already have a fish on the line. Jesse reached out to Warner Brothers, which is widely known for its largesse, and they want to do an animated version of your story. As is customary in the industry they ask the creator (you) to put up a bond to cover incidentals they expect to incur over the next few years (in this case meaning preproduction, production, post-production, marketing, distribution, and executive overhead costs). I'll send wire transfer instructions later today by drone. Don't be surprised that the money will be routed through Yemen, Somalia, Syria, and the CAR before winding up in the Caymans. This too is industry standard, and ensures compliance with the Patriot Act. As a loyal American I know you will appreciate the necessity here.

While we're on the somewhat sordid subject of money I'm almost embarrassed to mention it, but the deposit required by your contract with me hasn't arrived. Instructions for this wire will be sent under separate cover, and for reasons you now understand the money will be routed through South Sudan, Libya, Capitol Hill in Seattle, and Iraq before winding up in Lichtenstein.

I'm excited to be working together. I think this is going to change the history of entertainment.

Jon

You forgot to mention my brokering fees, which are very nominal by Industry standards. 20% of the budget and 80% of the gross. You can wire funds to both my Swiss and Cayman accounts.

 

[georged]

OK... OK...

I explained the fantastic opportunity to all my friends and relatives and they wanted in, too!

So... every last thing any of us own or has access to has been cashed out or converted into cash, and the cash is now in a car trunk.

Just tell me where to leave the car (key taped up under the right rear wheel well, not the left front one... am I smart or what?), to get this project started.

 

[jguss]

George, your enthusiasm is infectious. I just know this is going to be an experience you'll never forget.

First an update. Warner is out, Sony/Columbia is in. Even better they're interested because Tarentino is hot to direct. He wants a few minor changes (lose the exciton-plasmon thing, blah blah) but I think the result is going to be Oscariffic.

As for the car, don't worry about leaving a key. The people I work with won't need one. After they retrieve the cash (used bills only, no sequential serial numbers please) they'll leave the car in Sarritt Point at 2am Saturday morning. One small thing: you may notice that the handling will be a bit unwieldy when cornering. This is a perfectly normal part of all Hollywood transactions. On an unrelated note, under no circumstances remove the rocker panels. It's considered bad luck in the movie business, like mentioning the Scottish play in a theater. Silly superstition, but it has to be humored.

 

[georged]

Wow. This just keeps getting better and better.

In fact, I'm going to apply for a bunch of payday loans this afternoon. Go all out, you know?

I mean, the more money you have to invest, the cooler the movie will be, right???

And Tarantino?!!! Like, srsly???

 

[fredhanna]

Great idea!

I'll start it here on the forum, in fact, to check the level of interest. If it's high enough I'll give Gary Schrier a call.

This will be chapter one:

------

The electroplasmonic switch capacity of a briar pipe is based upon electrically tunable exciton–plasmon interactions. It consists of a hexagonal boron nitride (hBN)-encapsulated tungsten diselenide (WSe2) monolayer on top of a single-crystalline silver substrate. The ultrasmooth silver substrate serves a dual role as the medium to support surface plasmon polaritons (SPPs) and the bottom gate electrode to tune the WSe2 exciton energy and brightness through electrostatic doping. Provided the pipe's airway is of adequate diameter, enhancing the exciton–plasmon coupling is accomplished through the implementation of a plasmonic crystal cavity on top of the hBN/WSe2/hBN/Ag heterostructure with a quality factor of at least 550. The tight confinement of the SPPs in the plasmonic cavity enables strong coupling between excitons and SPPs when the WSe2 exciton absorption is resonant with the cavity mode, leading to a vacuum Rabi splitting of up to 18 meV. Especially when the tobacco smoked is heavy in Latakia. This strong coupling can be switched off with the application of a modest thought-induced gate voltage to increase the doping density in the monolayer.

...etc. etc... all the well-known usual stuff to bring the narrative up to speed. Then, when people are on board I can really dive into it.

What do you think?

George, I think that with the post above you have truly crossed the threshold from mundane pipe smoking into quantum pipe science. The sky is the limit!!! And what I mean by that is that by the time you are done with this research, we will be able enjoy pipes that are no longer limited by space and time. For example, we will be able to teleport tobacco flavors from say, a latakia blend being smoked in a Dunhill in Chicago to a Danish pipe smoking Virginia in Copenhagen! Not only that, but as virtuality assimilates and appropriates actuality, we will be able to smoke a pipe located on the other side of the country without ever touching it! Think of it---in a Zoom meeting Tad Gage smokes a Barling in North Carolina, and hands it to me in Chicago to virtually puff across a thousand miles. Then I report to him and the other Zoom attendees how the pipe smokes. Wow. Just wow. We are on the doorstep of a monumental revolution. Thank you George!

 

[georged]

Is it true when one pipe smoker light up another has to do so regardless of how far away he is?? Is this spooky action at a distance??

Almost certainly yes. The Bohr vs. Einstein argument was taken for another lap around the track recently, and Bohr's view of things was the winner:

Light from ancient quasars helps confirm quantum entanglement

In a new study by MIT researchers and others, light from ancient quasars helps confirm quantum entanglement. The results are among strongest evidence yet for what Einstein called “spooky action at a distance.”

news.mit.edu

Going to a pipe show could have saved all that work, though. Entangled and spooky barely begins to describe what goes on at those things...

 

[kcghost]

Re George Dibos:

Judging by the percentages he's giving I expect him to be singing:

"He' in the poorhouse now
He's in the poorhouse now
I told him once or twice to quit playing cards with Jon and Jesse
He's in the poorhouse now

Well he had a friend named Esserman who used to swap pipes a lot
He thought he was the smartest guy in town
But I found out last Monday that George got locked up Sunday
They got him in the jailhouse way downtown"

He went out last Tuesday
Met a guy named Gussie
He told him He was the swellest man around
Guss started to spend his money
Then he started to call him Georgie
They took in every pipe show in town

He's in the poorhouse now
He's in the poorhouse now
I told him once or twice to quit playing cards with Jon and Jesse
He's in the poorhouse now

With apologies to Webb Pierce and Jimmie Rodgers

 

[georged]

^^^

For you whippersnappers who don't get the reference/inspiration:

 

[jguss]

Re George Dibos:

Judging by the percentages he's giving I expect him to be singing:

"He' in the poorhouse now
He's in the poorhouse now
I told him once or twice to quit playing cards with Jon and Jesse
He's in the poorhouse now

Well he had a friend named Esserman who used to swap pipes a lot
He thought he was the smartest guy in town
But I found out last Monday that George got locked up Sunday
They got him in the jailhouse way downtown"

He went out last Tuesday
Met a guy named Gussie
He told him He was the swellest man around
Guss started to spend his money
Then he started to call him Georgie
They took in every pipe show in town

He's in the poorhouse now
He's in the poorhouse now
I told him once or twice to quit playing cards with Jon and Jesse
He's in the poorhouse now

With apologies to Webb Pierce and Jimmie Rodgers

For those who’ve read kc’s post it’s ludicrously libelous; for those who’ve heard it sung it’s scandalously slanderous.

But is also, however, clever & catchy. So here’s what Jesse and I are going to do. kc, your song will be the title track of the movie (now going to be a Paramount production!), in return for 0.000000000000001% of the net or 475% of George’s take, whichever is greater.

I’ve taken the liberty of signing the customary songwriters representation contract on your behalf (governing law is Libyan, jurisdiction is Albania), and will forward you wire instructions to provide surety for indemnification against infringement claims by the estates of Rodgers and Pierce (both of which are by coincidence my clients).

 

[georged]

... in return for 0.000000000000001% of the net or 475% of George’s take, whichever is greater.

Hold on.

I wasn't born last night but I did fall off a truck yesterday morning (or however that saying goes), and that 475% number seems off...

If kc gets that big of a share it would mean Scarlett Johansson would go after HIM before she'd want to party with ME.

Are you sure of your numbers, Pipe Luminary Guss?

I'm beginning to get a bit worried about the soundness of this plan...

In fact... I'm not quite sure how to put this... but I'm not convinced this is going to work the way you say it is...

Bottom line is it seems like you need more up-front money to nail some things down. You know, hire more assistants and consultants and stuff. Maybe even some little brown envelopes here and there.

So, I talked to a long-ago IT friend of mine named Bill, and he said he'd be glad to wire you a billion dollars toward the project.

Would that be OK? (He's fine with the South Sudan, Libya, etc. routing. He's a trusting person)

 

[weezell]

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