Found out a Friend is a Pipe Smoker!

[pappymac]

Not to tell a moderator what to do, but....

Now that you know he is a pipe smoker just be sure to take a pipe and some tobacco with you when you get together with him again. When he lights up his pipe, you light up yours. Then you just let nature take its course and maybe offer him some of the tobacco you are smoking or one of your less used pipes to try.

 

[bluegrassbrian]

This. Just start being the somewhat annoying history/science/hobby obsessed friend(weirdly specific example eh?) and yammer on about it in a general sense constantly. That's how I get people into my interests. I'm definitely a Stanley over Harbor Freight guy so I'm usually trying to get them to understand the actual options through narrative means. Pretty soon they're turning in their sedan for a small pickup, as it were. Their gas station wolf knife for a decent Kershaw. Their video games for world history, their Remington 870s for Mossberg 500s... y'know. I still smoke a lot of Grabows, I just like to get people up to decently built and user serviceable.

I had a kershaw once.

2 months later I was buying my first Shirogorov.

Several years after that I started smoking pipes and that's become my "more affordable" hobby.

 

[obc83]

I had a kershaw once.

2 months later I was buying my first Shirogorov.

Several years after that I started smoking pipes and that's become my "more affordable" hobby.

Exactly. Also, same haha.

 

[Hillcrest]

I think its the approach. If you're friends ... and you said to him by the way I'm a moderator for the pipes magazine forums and have learned quite a bit about pipe smoking over the years and I wanted to get you a present for Christmas anyway ... I thought you would really like this (pipe/tobacco) based on what your doing now ... who would be offended by that ???

Or even simpler ... Merry Christmas ... I hope this will bring you great pleasure and relaxation for years to come ...

My friend just found two old italian pipes he had in college when he smoked for about 3 months ... a Ferrari and a Lorenzo and said here I found these looking for something else and since I'm never going to smoke pipes again and they've been sitting there for years .... you might as well enjoy them ...

I was very appreciative of the gift and thought ... I didn't say "oh ! you evil rotten @#$%^&* "
Give the buy some credit for being a decent human being and stop agonizing ... Just my 2 cents.

 

[telescopes]

I say leave’m alone. There’s a guy in Ocala that is never seen outdoors without a pipe in his hands. When I had the chance to speak with him I asked what make pipe he was smoking. His answer: “I don’t know. I have three pipes and this is one of them.” I went on to ask him which tobacco he preferred? His answer: “Oh! I just grab a pound of whatever the tobacco store (ie: vape shop) has. I’m currently liking the peach flavor they have in stock. I just love smoking a pipe!”
He took no notice of the high end artisan pipe I was smoking nor did he ask me any questions. I concluded that he was a happier and luckier pipe smoker than I am, and I let him be. When I see him these days, I simply give him a thumbs up. The lucky ba$tard!

+1

 

[telescopes]

When I discovered 40 years ago that my best friend was smoking a pipe, my first impulse was to help him upgrade . Turns out he was even more low brow than I am. I learned to let it go. 40 years later, he still smokes Sunset from Tinderbox and is as happy as a claim.

 

[TheIronMonkey]

The pipe upgrade approach could easily come off pushy. I like the idea of just getting together and hanging out—maybe bring a few different blends for him to try; possibly bring some fresh, budget cobs, so as not to mix the flavours and leave those with him? Just hang out and smoke.

 

[telescopes]

The pipe upgrade approach could easily come off pushy. I like the idea of just getting together and hanging out—maybe bring a few different blends for him to try; possibly bring some fresh, budget cobs, so as not to mix the flavours and leave those with him? Just hang out and smoke.

Or, let him offer his own stash and smoke that with him. That is the regret I have with my friend. I should have celebrated his own tastes in tobacco before I offers my own suggestions.

 

[litup]

If you really want to introduce him to a different kind of pipe, I'd recommend buying yourself the same exact pipe and then when you give it to him you could say, "I bought us these pipes to try." Smoking the same pipes would seem less like you're trying to level up his smoking and more like a shared experience between friends.

That said, I've learned that just because a friend of mine smokes a pipe doesn't mean they are going to share my level of interest or have any desire to spend "crazy" money on a pipe so maybe a "smoke what you like and like what you smoke" approach is more appropriate.

 

[didimauw]

Man, lot's of good ideas and opinions here!

 

[PipeIT]

Not to tell a moderator what to do, but....

Yeah no kidding, I never thought about that, we could get a ban if we’re not careful, maybe it’s a trap! LOL

 

[Lumbridge]

I wish I had a friend or friends that were into tobacco pipes. Of my two best friends, one smokes cigars and the other cigarettes. I've been subtly trying to convert them to pipes for years, now. Cigarette smoker friend bought a cob, but has hardly touched it.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

What's the big deal, Didi. We've been friends for ten years, and I smoke pipes.

 

[Hillcrest]

I know the answer to this problem ! If you give all of us and him a Castello Starter kit then he'll just be one of the guys and its no big deal ! And you can say Its not a Pipe ... Its a work of art !!

 

[LotusEater]

I don’t really understand what the big issue is here? In your position I would be a bit self deprecating while remaining honest and exuberant.

I’d probably explain that I (or you in this case) get a bit (read “totally”) geeked out about pipes and tobacco etc etc … and as a result I have a few (way too many) pipes and tobaccos. Then continue to be honest and tell him you’d like to have have someone to talk to about this stuff who might actually be interested (assuming your wife is like mine and only cares that your pipe “crap” is all over the place in the house). Basically ask him to indulge you and ask if he wants to check out your collection and maybe try some tobacco samples and tell you what he thinks of them.
Own your obsession and don’t make him feel weird for not being bat shit crazy (yet) in the way you kind of are.

Alternately - just give him a pipe and some decent tobacco and tell him he’s doing it all wrong and his current pipes suck.

If he’s a good friend it won’t matter how you approach the situation.

 

[didimauw]

What's the big deal, Didi. We've been friends for ten years, and I smoke pipes.

I was going to make a comment how I don't want to seem snobbish. I mean, even I have smoked Carter hall I'm a cob, and I've gotten grief from it (cough cosmic cough)

 

[didimauw]

I don’t really understand what the big issue is here? In your position I would be a bit self deprecating while remaining honest and exuberant.

I’d probably explain that I (or you in this case) get a bit (read “totally”) geeked out about pipes and tobacco etc etc … and as a result I have a few (way too many) pipes and tobaccos. Then continue to be honest and tell him you’d like to have have someone to talk to about this stuff who might actually be interested (assuming your wife is like mine and only cares that your pipe “crap” is all over the place in the house). Basically ask him to indulge you and ask if he wants to check out your collection and maybe try some tobacco samples and tell you what he thinks of them.
Own your obsession and don’t make him feel weird for not being bat shit crazy (yet) in the way you kind of are.

Alternately - just give him a pipe and some decent tobacco and tell him he’s doing it all wrong and his current pipes suck.

If he’s a good friend it won’t matter how you approach the situation.

This is true. When I see him next, I'll talk to him more about it. I'm not going to push anything, but yet tell him about how pipe smoking has consumed a huge part of my life. Then slowly work my way into his....pipes(?)

Or I thought about making him one myself, from the kits by Vermont as I've done in the past.

A little pissed at myself that I thrown everything I've made away....

 

[mso489]

I'd keep it to one Dr. Grabow and one pouch of tobacco. And don't be irked if he then shows up smoking one of his old-friend pipes. The object isn't to show him where he goes wrong, but just to share your mutual interest in pipes. The generosity I have encountered on Forums is amazing.

 

[didimauw]

I'd keep it to one Dr. Grabow and one pouch of tobacco. And don't be irked if he then shows up smoking one of his old-friend pipes. The object isn't to show him where he goes wrong, but just to share your mutual interest in pipes. The generosity I have encountered on Forums is amazing.

This is a good point too.

Maybe I'll clean up the old Grabow I have, and maybe some Redburn or something. But I think I may just let it go, and offer him our forum in case he's interested.

Some people write with pens, because that's what people write with. I write with pens because I'm fascinated by them, and will spend up to 100.00 on one. I have to understand that some people smoke pipes, just because. Not because they are all fanatics

 

[sardonicus87]

I have been ruminating on this thread since I saw it.

As a general rule, I hate dogmatism and I hate proselytizing. I'm not opposed to personal snobbery as long as it stays personal and not toward judgementalness of others. There's a lot of complicated nuance, I won't go into here.

But just thinking personally about myself... I hate getting advice that I didn't ask for. I am the type of person that if I want advice or help, I will ask. On the flip side, I try to never offer advice unless someone asks explicitly. I personally find it offensively presumptive and condescending of people to give advice that wasn't asked for. Maybe the other person already knows and just doesn't care, or maybe their situation is more nuanced and has more to it than what they've said and the offered advice would be next to useless at best and condescending at worst. But you never know because it takes making a lot of presumptions. Many people seem to disagree with me in this regard.

Now I am not against giving advice per se. Some people are indirect and want advice and they ask in indirect ways through statements. I'm very direct, I don't do subtext or between the lines or implying games. If I mean to be indirect or make implications, I will make it blatantly obvious that's the intent. I seem to run into a lot of problems where people very often read more into what I've said than what I have actually said. That's rather annoying to me, but whatever.

My approach though would be if I feel like I have advice that might be useful or if I feel like they might be trying to ask advice indirectly, is simply to ask if they want my advice or opinion before just giving it. I would personally view a care package in the same light... like advice I didn't ask for. It's always going to be offensive to me to get advice I didn't ask for, and nobody can change my mind on that, and there are others that feel the same, but we seem to be a minority in my experience. For other people, it's not offensive. But the point is, you don't know if it's offensive or not to someone else, so it's always better to ask first, rather than to be presumptive.