Forget Historical Figure Conversations... Now You Have a Billion Dollars

[georged]

Your doorbell just rang, and a team of expensively-suited lawyers just told you that Bill Gates died and left you a billion dollars. That you were his long lost best childhood friend's favorite uncle, or something.
After dealing with the obvious necessities required by such good fortune, what would you do with the money that's PIPE AND/OR TOBACCO related?
PLEAE NOTE: Buy all the champagne, sailboats, and fancy cars you want, and travel the world until you turn blue, we don't care... This is a SMOKING board. Any response that steps outside that conversational box will be instantly zapped by pm.com's crack team of rabid moderators, and their collective fingers will be wagged at you. Right, mods? :mrgreen:
Me? I'd commission a dead-authentic, museum-class Edwardian era library / lounge / club room large enough to hold regular meet-ups of my friends. Legit world-class antiques when possible, world-class counterfeits when not. Moroccan leather wing chairs, mahogany and brass everywhere, crystal decanters, rare books, an attached, always full walk-in tobacco humidor, etc. etc. etc.
(The walls would also contain hidden shielding, Faraday cage style, to block all Wifi, cellphone signals, and so forth. :twisted: )
Special bonus? It would be serviced by a free, worldwide Gulfstream shuttle for any like-minded pipe smoker who wanted to visit. (There'd also be a fully equipped pipe repair shop in a nearby room of the same building, of course, as well as a wing of five star guest rooms).
Yup. That's it, I think.
The only problem with such a place is that I'd probably never leave it. ::
Edited by jvnshr: Title capitalization (please check Rule #9)

 

[ashdigger]

I'd buy 1 tin of MCClelland 40th Anniversary.

 

[brian64]

Me? I'd commission a dead-authentic, museum-class Edwardian era library / lounge / club room large enough to hold regular meet-ups of my friends. Legit world-class antiques when possible, world-class counterfeits when not. Moroccan leather wing chairs, mahogany and brass everywhere, crystal decanters, rare books, an attached, always full walk-in tobacco humidor, etc. etc. etc.

(The walls would also contain hidden shielding, Faraday cage style, to block all Wifi, cellphone signals, and so forth. )

:worship:
In addition to something like the above, and completing my cellar and acquiring a few more Bakis, I would endeavor to identify worthy souls of lesser means here on the forum and stock their cellars for them.

 

[jaytex1969]

I'd buy a small town as close to the geographic center of the country as I could manage.
I'd change the name to Briarville.
I'd solicit the migration of as many pipe smokers with diverse life skill as I could manage.
We'd build our fine utopia and live happily ever after... ::

 

[kashmir]

I'd buy the company Dunhill and turn it around. After first erecting a 5 meter high bronze statue of Alfred Dunhill in Trafalgar Square.

 

[Chasing Embers]

Nothing pipe or tobacco related. I'm finished buying pipes, and my cellar runneth over. The rest would go into a savings account for my kids.

 

[jaytex1969]

We could build that new ship, Cap'n!
LINK

 

[seacaptain]

Me? I'd commission a dead-authentic, museum-class Edwardian era library / lounge / club room large enough to hold regular meet-ups of my friends. Legit world-class antiques when possible, world-class counterfeits when not. Moroccan leather wing chairs, mahogany and brass everywhere, crystal decanters, rare books, an attached, always full walk-in tobacco humidor, etc. etc. etc.

This is awesome but isn't it kind of beyond your stated rules? Why not a mansion to surround the library, and an estate for the mansion, and an island for the estate, etc.
Me, after taxes, I'd give half the money away to charity. Then after that help out some family and friends with houses. That would still leave well over $200 million. I have no idea what I'd do with that but anything tobacco related would be an afterthought.

 

[georged]

This is awesome but isn't it [a luxury smoking room] kind of beyond your stated rules?

Let's see... you're not sure if a smoking room goes beyond the rules of "it must be related to smoking."
Hm. Not sure I can help you there. :lol:

 

[sasquatch]

I'd buy Castello.
And I'd probably buy the Dunhill recipes off BAT.
I think everything else would take care of itself.

 

[canadianpuffer]

I’d open up an old world style tobacconist shop on the Main Street of my town. Price everything at cost to get more people into the hobby (canadian taxes) and build up the smoking culture. (Well fine tobacco smoking culture). It’s be a hang out place masquerading as a store.

 

[georged]

I'd buy Castello.

Not A Castello, but Costello.
I see what you did there.
Noice. :clap:

 

[alan73]

I would lend out my G5 or G6 to pick up the Danish and Swedish pipe-makers for the Chicago show. We’d all become great friends and whoop it up worldwide. I would then buy only the best highest grade pipes and corner the market on the best of the best. I’ll do the fancy pipe collection wing of my mansion too. I only need a few lazy boys , no need to be frivolous.

 

[jpmcwjr]

I'd buy several top tobacco shops, spruce 'em up real good, and underwrite their business to a few hundred thou a year. (In SF, ATL, Hollywood, and Monterey. I'd buy a suite on a passenger liner with a contract that'd allow me to smoke in my cabin and on my deck. Then I'd hire someone to clip my coupons.

 

[alan73]

I’d buy 40% of Scandinavian tobacco group. Ticker STG in Denmark , they pay a fat dividend

 

[beefeater33]

George, you'd need to hire some cleaning staff, you know, to empty the ashtrays and polish the crystal decanters and such..........Keep the place tidy. ::

 

[alan73]

The blonde is already hired , don’t try to poach her from my employ .

 

[warren]

I'd properly invest it and then live off the million or so a month interest. Then, I'd purchase enough politicians to get the country running in the direction I prefer.

 

[mso489]

As to how I would manage a billion, and how I would attempt to use or abuse it -- that is not the question. Pipewise, I think I might actually attempt to keep exactly the pipes and tobacco stash I have at present. No new rack of artisan masterpieces or Dunhill classics or anything. I think that would be one of my ways of keeping a foot on base. Hey, here's the Kaywoodie; I've always really enjoyed this pipe, and the Missouri Meerschaum cobs. And how about my snazzy Ferndown and Ser Jacopo -- golden as ever. The task is to keep your head, and that would help.

 

[addamsruspipe]

I would do two things. First I would establish a non profit foundation to support/encourage pipe smoking. Then I would travel the world visiting pipe makers/blenders/pipe shops/pipe clubs sharing/trading/learning and having fun. :D