My morning routine starts with carefully getting out of bed to not wake the wife. I then start the coffee, then I'll excitedly rub one out (I lean towards flake) this morning it was Star of the East.
By this time the coffee is ready and by the time I fill a bowl my wife is up and pours both a cup, then I enjoy a smoke and coffee while we discuss the day's activities.
when I read that you “excitedly rub one out” for morning routine, I thought you were including wayyy too much details on what you get up to without the wife around