Fake Cubans Sold By Popular Retailer

[woodsroad]

As @captainsousie, those thighs aren't so nubile and supple anymore. "Rolled on the ear wax encrusted, calloused thighs of elderly la puta"

 

[TheIronMonkey]

Possibly. For sure, quality went to hell by the latter '90's with the frenzy that the cigar press worked up. Cigar nights became a thing in LA, where a high end restaurant would close for a special cigar event and some celebrity blender would host a presentation of his range of cigars, accompanied by a multi course meal prepared by one of LA premier chefs.

I attended a few of them and they were kinda fun. People would enjoy free cigars and also show off their cellars, by bringing something from home, usually accompanied by a bit of bragging. Of course, the 900 lb gorilla at that time was the Hoyo de Monterrey Double Corona that had scored a 100% rating with Cigar Aficionado. So I brought one of mine.

Very few smoked Cohibas back then because it was widely accepted that they were fakes. Sucking on a Lancero could cause your head to implode.

After the dinner and the presentation, when everyone was pulling out their cigars, I pulled out the Hoyo and the table literally fell silent, all eyes on the cigar. I kid you not. They were all staring at the fucking cigar. I was lighting up, unaware of the effect it was having and when I looked up the entire table was staring at the cigar. It was not a little unsettling, so after a few puffs I decided "what the hell" and handed it off. Everyone shared the fucking cigar. It was amazing and not a little bit nasty, and by the time that the soggy remains were returned to me, I just put it out.

I haven't smoked cigars much since the early 2000's and the last Cubans I bought were in Canada when I was working on a film in Vancouver, and they were all pretty bad smokes, not stored properly, over humidified. I tried at a couple of different tobacconists and found the same problem.

The Hoyo de Monterrey Double Coronas from that period were extraordinary—the Cigar Aficionado rating at the time was actually a 99, which was the highest ever given (I believe an Hoyo Epicure No. 2 may have gotten a 100 later on). Every inch of the Double Corona changed and revealed something new with each draw. Somewhere in a box in storage, I have tasting notes I made at the time. Thank you for sharing that story!

 

[condorlover1]

You know maybe I am just a total pleb but I could never get anything interesting flavor wise from smoking cigars. Maybe there is a trick to it that I have somehow missed. Anyone care to enlighten me here?

 

[canucklehead]

Some people whine that Cohibas taste like dog shit. Obviously, those people have never smoked dog shit.

It's Labrador man...

 

[pantsBoots]

You know maybe I am just a total pleb but I could never get anything interesting flavor wise from smoking cigars. Maybe there is a trick to it that I have somehow missed. Anyone care to enlighten me here?

Could be starting with pipes, if that's how it went for you. I didn't even smoke any tobacco when I got started on cigars in my early 20s. I was always amazed at what I thought was a limitless array of profiles among the different countries and blends. I didn't pick up the pipe until a couple years ago, and now, a cigar gives me a cigar experience while pipes open me up to so much more variety.

I still smoke a couple cigars per month, but have sold much of my cigar cellar to build a pipe tobacco cellar. Either way, I'm flush with tobacco for the next few decades.

 

[mickeyg]

Cohiba - much better than Philly Blunts for rolling weed!

Back about 25 years or so, this guy I worked with brought a couple of Cohibas to work & asked me if they were good cigars. I told him "so I hear, & they're really expensive, too." He says to me "I gave one to my dumbass brother & he takes a razor blade to it, splits it down the middle, dumps the tobacco out & then fills it up with weed !!!"

LOL...they were probably counterfeits too, I imagine.

 

[Worknman]

You know maybe I am just a total pleb but I could never get anything interesting flavor wise from smoking cigars. Maybe there is a trick to it that I have somehow missed. Anyone care to enlighten me here?

If you smoke a wider variety you'll start to notice different notes other than the typical earth and black pepper of most cigars.

 

[sablebrush52]

​

 

[billinrio]

The Hoyo de Monterrey Double Coronas from that period were extraordinary—the Cigar Aficionado rating at the time was actually a 99, which was the highest ever given (I believe an Hoyo Epicure No. 2 may have gotten a 100 later on). Every inch of the Double Corona changed and revealed something new with each draw. Somewhere in a box in storage, I have tasting notes I made at the time. Thank you for sharing that story!

I still have a box of those Hoyo Double Coronas that I purchased in 2001 at a Casa del Habano in Havana. Carefully stored since then, it's been difficult to find an occasion worthy of breaking one out ...

 

[pappymac]

When I was working for a fishing magazine in the late 90s, we would have a booth at the New Orleans Boat Show. One year there was a booth selling "high end" cigars and claiming they had Cuban Cohiba's in a five pack, wooden box with a plexiglas slide cover. A couple of hours later, a Customs agent and a couple of local police came in and shut him down. The Cohiba's was fake, of course, but what got him shut down was not having the right state license for selling tobacco products. The Customs agent was laughing at the guy and said real Cuban cigars are never sold in a wooden box with a plastic cover and that the printing of the label was off too.

 

[rmbittner]

Not a big cigar guy, but my last Cohiba was quite tasty, from Iwan Ries so probably authentic. Part of a sampler pack I'm smoking, one at the first of each month.

“Authentically” a Cohiba, I’m sure. But not a Cuban cigar. Cuban cigars cannot be sold legally in the U.S.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

When they're right, the Cuban Cohiba is as good as it gets to my palate. My favorite are the Robusto and Siglo IV. Right now, they sell for over $1,000 per box. No wonder they are a popular cigar to counterfeit. And the vast majority of people haven't smoked enough Cubans to know the difference.

 

[kcghost]

Cohiba stand for the "most faked cigar in the world".

 

[pipingfool]

One of my favorite smokes was a Cuban Bolivar Robusto. It was all espresso, leather, fermented/dried fruit and spice.

Incredibly complex and, well, Robust. I'm hoping since I live much closer to Canada that I can find a few in Vancouver to bring back with me when we visit.

 

[pappymac]

Some of the best cigars I've smoked were hand rolled at little cigar shops in Little Havana while I was stationed in Miami. A friend introduced me to one of the rollers and told me to never ask where the tobacco came from.

 

[condorlover1]

@pappymac : Should that be 'Never ask where the tobacco has been' whilst getting rolled!

 

[pappymac]

@pappymac : Should that be 'Never ask where the tobacco has been' whilst getting rolled!

ROLF.
Maybe if it was old Cuban ladies rolling them.

Seriously though, at one time, the Cubans in Miami were getting supplies of tobacco "smuggled" in. The leaf was supposedly being shipped to another cigar producing country and ten being shipped to the U.S. as that country's produce or labeled as "Cuban Seed" tobacco. My understanding this wasn't widespread and was usually only used for special customers.

 

[briarbuck]

Monte Cristo #2 and Partagas #4 are my favs.

I have probably 50 various Cubans I have picked up over the years. They are quite spectacular if you get the right one. They smell like leather mixed with a horse stall. They also can taste like the shit inside the stall if you get a bad one.