Duped by a forum member
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Posting someones info online isn't good as usually the forums server has rules against that, it's called doxing and is kind of a gray area, but it's against pretty much every websites TOS (terms of service) so whatever host pipesmagazine.com uses could be taken down temporarily if the person lodged a TOS violation complaint. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxing There could also be personal ramifications legally should the person decide to take legal action as if they never made the information public and you released it without their consent. So it's going overboard basically, just posting the persons username is sufficient. I have an idea who this member might possibly be and if it's him he really doesn't have the money and is probably feeling like shit over this. Speculation purely on who it is but the person I'm thinking of is overall got good intentions and is probably so embarrassed and feels like crap about it he's probably beating himself over it. I'd possibly share the name in private with a respected forum member who could give some background on the individual in question. If it's the guy I'm thinking of this could push him over the edge in a way it would haunt you for the rest of your life.
I'm not in with the histrionics crowd, but I've traded beer and pipes and tobaccos around the internet for years and I've been fortunate to dodge this bullet.
I will say that the 'no money' excuse is lame. If you have no money, don't agree to the trade. When I'm short on cash, I don't commit to spending money I don't have. Most people have at least that much self-restraint.
Because of the terms of service here, I think you're sort of on your own. I think you should name a name after a few days of this post being up, so we can avoid doing business with this person too.
I will say that the 'no money' excuse is lame. If you have no money, don't agree to the trade. When I'm short on cash, I don't commit to spending money I don't have. Most people have at least that much self-restraint.
Because of the terms of service here, I think you're sort of on your own. I think you should name a name after a few days of this post being up, so we can avoid doing business with this person too.
Here's a thought... if you're in a tough situation and know that you can't afford $6-$12 to ship off a package on an agreed trade; then don't do the trade!!! In the event that after you agreed to do a trade and something comes up and you can't complete the trade in a timely manner than tell the person about your situation and keep them updated until you're able to complete the transaction. When doing a trade a month is pushing it after receiving your items. Unless your work schedule is horrible or your away on business/vacation; you should be able to complete your part of the trade within two weeks. Its not that difficult to package up some tobacco, cigars and/or a pipe and get to the post office. I know life is a priority, but really how hard is it to package up your agreed items and go to the post office. Plus if you can't afford $6-$12 to ship an item then you shouldn't be doing a trade to begin with.
I would have outed the person by now. 2 months is crazy stupid! Sounds like they straight up took advantage of you unless they're dead.
I would have outed the person by now. 2 months is crazy stupid! Sounds like they straight up took advantage of you unless they're dead.
@ Andy and Gigger48: We DO NOT have rules regarding posting about a deal gone sour. In fact, in the Buy/Sell/Tade section this info is added about it's use:
Buy/Sell/Trade – This forum allows members to Buy/Sell/Trade with each other. [No Classified Ads, such as -I am looking for ...fill in the blank.] MINIMUM OF 100 POSTS REQUIRED - and no padding your post count - 4-months membership required as well. When a member does so, they are doing it at their own risk. PipesMagazine.com is not held responsible for any of the Buying, Selling, and Trading that goes on in this forum. The responsibility falls solely on the individuals that are doing the transaction. If someone does not honor their side of the transaction, you can post that they didnt. There is nothing that we can do if someone doesnt honor their side, so please do not complain to us about. Give the person ample time to honor their side and after all reasonable attempts to resolve the situation has failed, post who it was so others do not fall victim to them.
@daniel: Please PM me and let me know if this is an active ad in the B/S/T section.
Buy/Sell/Trade – This forum allows members to Buy/Sell/Trade with each other. [No Classified Ads, such as -I am looking for ...fill in the blank.] MINIMUM OF 100 POSTS REQUIRED - and no padding your post count - 4-months membership required as well. When a member does so, they are doing it at their own risk. PipesMagazine.com is not held responsible for any of the Buying, Selling, and Trading that goes on in this forum. The responsibility falls solely on the individuals that are doing the transaction. If someone does not honor their side of the transaction, you can post that they didnt. There is nothing that we can do if someone doesnt honor their side, so please do not complain to us about. Give the person ample time to honor their side and after all reasonable attempts to resolve the situation has failed, post who it was so others do not fall victim to them.
@daniel: Please PM me and let me know if this is an active ad in the B/S/T section.
+1 million, trailboss. Along with every other situation that has ever existed since the beginning of time, there is two sides to every story and although it doesn't look too good on the person in question, we have obviously not heard their side of the story.
Daniel, i applaud the way in which you went about this, i really do. You waited longer than you really needed to, and then waited some more after trying to contact the person in question before you made this thread. Then you posted the situation as it played out and still refrained from outing the member just yet, giving him a chance to tell his side before going any further. Kudos to you, sir, and i really hope this gets resolved in the best way possible and that there is a legitimate explanation for what happened.
I'm not religious or superstitious, but karma is a bitch and i do truly believe in what goes around comes around and you reap what you sow. We'll see if karma needs to bitchslap this individual or if there is a perfectly reasonable explanation behind their lack of communication and holding up their end of the deal.
Daniel, i applaud the way in which you went about this, i really do. You waited longer than you really needed to, and then waited some more after trying to contact the person in question before you made this thread. Then you posted the situation as it played out and still refrained from outing the member just yet, giving him a chance to tell his side before going any further. Kudos to you, sir, and i really hope this gets resolved in the best way possible and that there is a legitimate explanation for what happened.
I'm not religious or superstitious, but karma is a bitch and i do truly believe in what goes around comes around and you reap what you sow. We'll see if karma needs to bitchslap this individual or if there is a perfectly reasonable explanation behind their lack of communication and holding up their end of the deal.
There is no excuse for this , we can do all the Physco Babble and it's wrong to do what this man did. He doesn't have 10$, come on. Daniel I"m sorry this happened to you. I hope it doesn't sour you on the rest of us. My 2 cents,
Claude, hahahahaha, very true...unless you have the person's legitimate personal information/address. In that case you could play the role of Karma yourself. Damn, could you imagine how good that bitchslapping would feel to deliver?
And yes it does suck, plain and simple.
And yes it does suck, plain and simple.
Anybody can make excuses. Bad behavior deserves bad treatment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFvujknrBuE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFvujknrBuE
I have turned down a couple of exchanges with forum members who weren't ones that I've seen posting regularly. However, I will readily trust and do business with someone who is on here regularly, because I figure that being shamed out of your forum isn't worth whatever business transaction was suggested. It had better be a damned good pipe before it would be worth it for me to leave here, IMO. Not just Dunhill good, ha ha.
While curious to the identity to avoid getting duped myself I must say this...... Daniel, you are handling yourself as a gentleman and for this I say well done.
I forgive but, I never forget. I'll even excuse, if warranted. I detest being treated with indifference by a vendor or partner. I won't tolerate it and will usually seek redress. If someone steals from me, which is the case here, I would do what is necessary to become "whole" unless the effort to do so exceeded the value of the loss. But, rest assured, I would never consider doing further business with the thief.
No excuse can be proffered that would make up for the indifference or lack of communication, short of death or ICU residence. If I was in debt to someone and unable to communicate with that person, I would have someone do so for me. A promise made, is a promise to be kept if one values their self-image. I care little what others think of me as long as I can feel right about myself.
No excuse can be proffered that would make up for the indifference or lack of communication, short of death or ICU residence. If I was in debt to someone and unable to communicate with that person, I would have someone do so for me. A promise made, is a promise to be kept if one values their self-image. I care little what others think of me as long as I can feel right about myself.
Bad business, but it happens. The tobacco, and/or an explanation are in order, needless to say. Sorry this
happened to you. Maybe the life circumstances would explain this, but then, he ought to share those with you.
If he ripped you off for a pipe, that's pretty pathetic. Life can't go well with that behavior.
happened to you. Maybe the life circumstances would explain this, but then, he ought to share those with you.
If he ripped you off for a pipe, that's pretty pathetic. Life can't go well with that behavior.
In my experience, the kind of behavior being exhibited by the unnamed person falls neatly into the category of Avoidance. It is not overtly malevolent. It is never premeditated. It is rooted in low self-esteem and a sense of powerlessness. Basically, it's a self-fulfilling prophesy that they are a schmuck.
This is very different than someone who is having a hard time in life and is overwhelmed by situations not of their making. That person will usually not enter into agreements that they know that they can not fulfill. They tend to withdraw and circle the wagons until the Indians leave.
That said, when dealing with someone like this, kid gloves are the worst way to go. Keeping it low key and trying to be sympathetic is simply enabling them to continue with the same behavior. You need to call them on it, and if that doesn't work, to do so publicly. Being understanding may seem to be the most compassionate thing to do, but it is really the most damaging by allowing them to continue. Ad hominems and vitriol are not necessary and are most probably counterproductive. In short, what Daniel has done so far is what is needed. The next step is name names, if for no other reason than to warn fellow forum members. This person needs a cold bucket of water thrown on them, and be told to grow up and cut it out. Granted, that isn't going to change them, but it could be the start that they need.
This is very different than someone who is having a hard time in life and is overwhelmed by situations not of their making. That person will usually not enter into agreements that they know that they can not fulfill. They tend to withdraw and circle the wagons until the Indians leave.
That said, when dealing with someone like this, kid gloves are the worst way to go. Keeping it low key and trying to be sympathetic is simply enabling them to continue with the same behavior. You need to call them on it, and if that doesn't work, to do so publicly. Being understanding may seem to be the most compassionate thing to do, but it is really the most damaging by allowing them to continue. Ad hominems and vitriol are not necessary and are most probably counterproductive. In short, what Daniel has done so far is what is needed. The next step is name names, if for no other reason than to warn fellow forum members. This person needs a cold bucket of water thrown on them, and be told to grow up and cut it out. Granted, that isn't going to change them, but it could be the start that they need.
Ah yes, I remember so many years ago when myself and several others were all deprived of our money by a fairly well liked, active and respected forum member and pipe maker. In the end the total was roughly calculated at several thousand dollars. I feel lucky to have only lost $80 on the transaction. The member turned up almost a year later with a thread stating something along the lines of, "Sorry, life issues, health problems, touch base with me and we will resolve the outstanding orders." We all did, never heard from him again. Maybe he had problems and I certainly don't wish anyone poor health. The thing is, during much of the time he was not on our forum, he was posting regularly on several other non-pipe forums. I kept the receipt for the money order on hand for a long time as a constant reminder.
I have bought many pipes on here with 0 problems. I have restored pipes for someone on here with 0 issues from me. I have sold a couple of pipes with 0 problems. I think enough time has passed on this one.
@Andy..the Canadian box pass only worked out because enough people hounded the person. That member has not been on since.
@Daniel..your trade partner may need the same treatment, a mass of messages and emails.
@Andy..the Canadian box pass only worked out because enough people hounded the person. That member has not been on since.
@Daniel..your trade partner may need the same treatment, a mass of messages and emails.
At minimum, I would not permit this individual to post to the Buy/Sell/Trade section of the forum.
If the member in question has in fact fallen on hard times, I would be willing to send him what was owed to help him out. Then he could foreward it on from there. This offer would only be extended to a long standing member though, not a newby. All he need do is PM me. God Bless if he has come upon troubles...
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