Never give up. And use your pipe to calm your fears and drown your sorrows. In 2010 I lost a business, went bankrupt, had to depend on my inlaws to pay my family's bills. It was a hard and humbling time. I could barely find work, was laid off from one job and fired from another. I became very disheartened and bitter. I even tried to switch careers, but that didn't work out. I seriously thought about throwing in the towel on life, if you know what I mean. If it hadn't been for my supportive wife and a couple of close friends. Then one day (about 4 years later) I got a call out of the blue, got offered a job in my chosen field, I make more money than I ever have, and love going to work everyday. Not that life is all roses all the time, but I never realized there could be anything good left in store for me. God has our best interests at heart, even when we can't see any hope. My best wishes to you.