Cause of death: Tobacco

[winton]

Among the many documents I review as a mortgage underwriter, is the occasional death certificate. Today I noticed that the Will County death certficate includes the question, "Is cause of death related to tobacco?"
Rather than complain about the nanny state, lets have fun making up tobacco related ways to die. Here are my first two contributions.
Spouse found out cost of most recent pipe purchase.
Tobacco stash fell over and crushed the deceased person.
Winton :puffpipe:

 

[wolfscout]

how about .. Wife got issues at husband who kept obtaining Pipe tobacco accessories and completely filled a bedroom. So Resulting in ==>> She gave him an accident.

 

[hilojohnny]

This may be all very cute....but I find the question "Is cause of death related to tobacco?" very troublesome and a foreshadow of invasive future governmental developments....laugh at me if you like....let's see who has the last laugh or moan.... :crying:

 

[collindow]

True enough Johnny, this is troubling. However, if I'm not mistaken this has been around for years now...

With that in mind: Deceased suffered stroke approximately five years after passing smoker on street. It is believed that the secondhand smoke was primary contributing factor in causing the stroke..

Other factors relating to death: bad diet, age, blood clotting, renal failure.
Oh, wait, that isn't a joke...that's a standard secondhand smoke study's methodology! *Sigh.*

 

[yoru]

I got nothing in funny, just messed up allegories for the anti's campaign...sorry mates.

 

[igloo]

Being unable to obtain flavored tobacco in Utah deceased went into cardiac arrest .His last words were ,The Ministry of Peace concerns itself with war, the Ministry of Truth with lies, the Ministry of Love with torture, and the Ministry of Plenty with starvation.

 

[yoru]

See that's the kind of depressing allegory I was talking about. . .. Very nicely done though.

 

[tanless1]

Car accident, influenced by tobacco

 

[strongirish]

How about dies fighting the smoking antis and the government.
They are more dangerous than my pipe tobacco!

 

[bowhatchie]

was cause of death tobacco related?
Old TOM went to the brothel to buy a poke...

Had not enough money, so decided to smoke....

sat on a corner making no fuss.....

Got up to leave and was hit by a bus....

 

[eaglerico]

While walking down the side walk and trying to light his pipe, the drunk alcoholic stumbles in front of a 18 wheeler delivering Cigs to the corner store.
1st question to ask: What was is in his pipe? :puffpipe:
P.S. Damn Cigs screwing it up for everyone.

 

[mlaug]

Doctors tell us that “1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die.”
The other two apparently became immortal. :wink:

 

[wolfscout]

I can't deny it any longer. The alien pipe tobacco monsters have infested my body and I'm contagious to all non-smokers. I'm a carrier and unaffected; but they seem to fall dead as I pass by. Cure and treatment unknown. ( I should travel more often)

 

[mlaug]

...and here I always thought it was because you had real bad gas.
:laughat:

 

[wolfscout]

I have been known to do that too. LOL

 

[jimbo]

"Tobacco stash fell over and crushed the deceased person."
Sounds like Fibber McGee's closet. He should have used his cellar like everybody else. :lol:
"T'aint funny, McGee!"

 

[mjtannen]

@Wolfscout....Your wife causing an accident might be a blessing. If she decided to withdraw bedroom services previously rendered you might have to cause your own bedroom accident and that is a real mess.