Patience and practice. I've been smoking a pipe for about 45 years and I'm still learning things.
You've been given a lot of good suggestions. Chasingembers' description of sipping is a good one. I'll tell people it's like sipping scotch, but a milkshake through a straw is a better description. But you don't sip until you have the tobacco going, so before you sip, you puff while lighting.
Don't worry about your pipe going out. The goal is not to keep the pipe going. The goal is to enjoy the flavors. The flavors come from the tobacco that is simmering around the burning coal, more than the tobacco that is burning. If the pipe goes out, who cares? Puff to relight and keep going. Over time you will develop an instinct for slightly increasing or decreasing your cadence in response to how the tobacco is burning.
Andy's description for getting the pipe lit is good. The purpose of the first light or two is to burn the top layer which you then tamp to get a fine layer of ash over the top. That layer of ash helps hold the heat and keep the pipe going. Then you light again, puffing a few times to get the coal going. After that you sip slowly, maybe about 1/2 to 1 second, letting the smoke roll over your tongue to get the flavors without drawing it into your throat and lungs. Ease it out. Wait 5 to 10 seconds and take another sip. Eventually you will want to learn to "retrohale", which is slowly letting the smoke out through your nose, which has more flavor receptors than your mouth and you will experience even more flavors. But one step at a time.
For any of this to work, your tobacco needs to be at the optimum moisture. Too much moisture and the water content masks the flavors. Too dry and essential oils have dried out and the tobacco loses flavor. Different blends have different points of optimum moisture, so it's best to stick to one or two blends and master them before going on to others. I generally let my tobacco dry to the point where it's dry to the touch when squeezed, but still pliant. I find this generally gives me the best flavor response from what I'm smoking.
You've been given good suggestions regarding packing, so I won't add anything to the above. But above all, be patient. Keep it simple by getting used to how to smoke one to two blends before going on to others. That cuts down on some variables while you're learning the basics.
It's not rocket science, but there is such a thing as technique and instinct. Those develop with time, patience, and practice.