"fantastically slutty but hot girls"
That's one antidote I can endorse.
That's one antidote I can endorse.
Breakup Stories
- Thread starter beetlejockey
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Sometimes it has been sad, every time has been followed by a big sigh of relief and feeling of freedom. Clearly, I'm not cut out for that game, but at least I've tried. Some of them have remembered me fondly for a very long time, which is kind of heartwarming.
It was October, 1995.
I came home early to find her being mounted by a man in full clown makeup and attire.
She was too embarrassed to make up a weird story, or try to find some way to blame me. She just apologized and I left chuckling.
True story.
I came home early to find her being mounted by a man in full clown makeup and attire.
She was too embarrassed to make up a weird story, or try to find some way to blame me. She just apologized and I left chuckling.
True story.
Free advice: Go to a karaoke bar with your best friend, get sloshed, cry through your favorite love songs, and then go home and forget her entirely.
And skip the “let’s be friends” crap. After the stuff is divided, block her number.
And skip the “let’s be friends” crap. After the stuff is divided, block her number.
The worst hurt I ever had at that time, was when my Madeline demanded I marry her or she’d move on.
I was only 18, and so was she.
Gorgeous, from Portugal, her father and mother both in the New York City Philharmonic, long mane of chestnut hair past her waist, and almost five feet tall, and sang in Spanish to me.
My mother had met her, and I called Mama and said she wasn’t bluffing, I saw her walking with another boy just over five feet tall from the conservatory of music and she didn’t even look at me!
Mama said their children aren’t likely to play much basketball.
Come home and it’s time to replace the Gran Torino you wrecked and I drive you to Springfield so you can pick out a another car, on only one condition.
Already I was feeling better, because I’d wrecked my Mustang and my Galaxie and my Gran Torino and my ride was the Trailways bus.
What’s that condition Mama?
She said I was taking over at Bolivar with the Sheriff’s wife and she said her daughter was lonesome and crying to her that no boy would ever want her because she was too tall. She asked how you were doing in medical school, too.
I said which daughter and she said Teresa.
I said Jesus Christ Mama, do you think Teresa would go out with me and Mama said oh no, Vanny, Teresa will say I have to stay home and wash my long, long hair rather than go out in your new car, when you are home over Christmas from medical school. Sure she will.
If you’ll get on that bus, and come home, I let you buy a car on the condition you ask Teresa for a date on New Years Eve to Springfield.
I almost forgot all about Maddie that quick.
And I learned that I also liked tall girls with enough confidence to not ask me to marry them, when we were 18.
But I also knew the weight Teresa carried, with her father chasing teenaged girls and her mother chasing young and old men alike.
Teresa and I spent New Years Eve of 76 in my 74 Vega GT making both our mothers happy, and planning separate and glorious futures and her hair smelled better than my Vega GT fresh from the detail shop.
I know she found her perfect match, and I did too, only it took me one failed attempt and 25 more years.
But when I drive past the Fox Theatre in Springfield I always thank Teresa for giving me the confidence to know, absolutely be certain, there’s always a lid for every pot, like my grandmother Mammy told me when I was two, and I played with her pots and pans spread out all over Mammy’s floor.
I was only 18, and so was she.
Gorgeous, from Portugal, her father and mother both in the New York City Philharmonic, long mane of chestnut hair past her waist, and almost five feet tall, and sang in Spanish to me.
My mother had met her, and I called Mama and said she wasn’t bluffing, I saw her walking with another boy just over five feet tall from the conservatory of music and she didn’t even look at me!
Mama said their children aren’t likely to play much basketball.
Come home and it’s time to replace the Gran Torino you wrecked and I drive you to Springfield so you can pick out a another car, on only one condition.
Already I was feeling better, because I’d wrecked my Mustang and my Galaxie and my Gran Torino and my ride was the Trailways bus.
What’s that condition Mama?
She said I was taking over at Bolivar with the Sheriff’s wife and she said her daughter was lonesome and crying to her that no boy would ever want her because she was too tall. She asked how you were doing in medical school, too.
I said which daughter and she said Teresa.
I said Jesus Christ Mama, do you think Teresa would go out with me and Mama said oh no, Vanny, Teresa will say I have to stay home and wash my long, long hair rather than go out in your new car, when you are home over Christmas from medical school. Sure she will.
If you’ll get on that bus, and come home, I let you buy a car on the condition you ask Teresa for a date on New Years Eve to Springfield.
I almost forgot all about Maddie that quick.
And I learned that I also liked tall girls with enough confidence to not ask me to marry them, when we were 18.
But I also knew the weight Teresa carried, with her father chasing teenaged girls and her mother chasing young and old men alike.
Teresa and I spent New Years Eve of 76 in my 74 Vega GT making both our mothers happy, and planning separate and glorious futures and her hair smelled better than my Vega GT fresh from the detail shop.
I know she found her perfect match, and I did too, only it took me one failed attempt and 25 more years.
But when I drive past the Fox Theatre in Springfield I always thank Teresa for giving me the confidence to know, absolutely be certain, there’s always a lid for every pot, like my grandmother Mammy told me when I was two, and I played with her pots and pans spread out all over Mammy’s floor.
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Yesterday was my one year anniversary of my divorce. 17 years together.
Just remember. Now you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
I promise you, single is good.
Just remember. Now you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
I promise you, single is good.
Are you sure she wasn't singing in Portuguese ?
She knew Spanish and Portuguese
There’s a border region there that’s sort of like the Missouri and Arkansas line where the Spanish hillbillies speak proper Spanish and the Arkansawyers speak a closely related Portuguese dialect , if that makes sense. Her dad was barely Portuguese and her mother just barely Spanish over that line.
Maddie herself was born and raised in New York City, spoke a sort of Mid Atlantic accent.
But she was, it’s hard to explain, not short at almost five feet, just a miniature long haired olive skinned doll
What fascinated me is NYC philharmonic types went nuts over Bobby Bare.
The French loved Jerry Lewis, go figure
Bobby Bare live Oslo Norway 1964
Maddie would show me off to her mother on the phone singing Detroit City.
All women are crazy.
They have to be, to like us.
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Sorry to hear your going through this. Im sure a lot of us have many stories and I know I do.
I wont get into any of mine but sluts and booze always helped in the aftermath.
I don’t advocate drinking though!
I wont get into any of mine but sluts and booze always helped in the aftermath.
I don’t advocate drinking though!
Naughty girls fix what ails you pretty quickly and the world is full of naughty girls, trust me 
3 stick out in my mind. The first was a long time girlfriend in college who had started becoming very controlling. I asked her if she thought she was going to tell me I had to quit tobacco and she said if she wanted to! She had a dream to move across the country so we road tripped to California and I flew home. After a few months of long distance misery I recommended we take some time apart to see if we still wanted to be in the relationship. I felt like a new man and the next time we talked my viewpoint was basically "why should I put up with this anymore?" Which she really did not like. Much screaming from her end before that breakup was done.
The next is a shorter story, we weren't actually even dating but when the courtship ended she was furious and decided a few nails in my tires would be an appropriate response. Could've killed me with the roads I was driving back then, tire shop asked me if I'd driven through a construction zone.
Last one was the toughest on me, my first wife went off the deep end and after the divorce she was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To make a long story short I spent 6 months trying to repair an unrepairable relationship and having every friend I had in the world turned against me. I lost 30+ pounds and would just sit at home with my dog listening to music until I snapped out of it and got out on the dating scene again. Finalizing that divorce was like the greatest weight lifted off my shoulders that I'd ever experienced.
It all worked out in the end, I'm married to the love of my life now and we have two beautiful children. I assume not everyone has to go through the shit to get to the happy times, but it sure makes you appreciate them more when you've been down in the dumps before.
The next is a shorter story, we weren't actually even dating but when the courtship ended she was furious and decided a few nails in my tires would be an appropriate response. Could've killed me with the roads I was driving back then, tire shop asked me if I'd driven through a construction zone.
Last one was the toughest on me, my first wife went off the deep end and after the divorce she was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To make a long story short I spent 6 months trying to repair an unrepairable relationship and having every friend I had in the world turned against me. I lost 30+ pounds and would just sit at home with my dog listening to music until I snapped out of it and got out on the dating scene again. Finalizing that divorce was like the greatest weight lifted off my shoulders that I'd ever experienced.
It all worked out in the end, I'm married to the love of my life now and we have two beautiful children. I assume not everyone has to go through the shit to get to the happy times, but it sure makes you appreciate them more when you've been down in the dumps before.
As I recall about half of the Penthouse forum letters in the 1970s began this way. I guess all forums are pretty much the same.
As for my personal experience I’m still on my starter wife; been together 37 years and married 35.
Before then a series of girls, some I dumped some dumped me. Never mutual as I recall, but never acrimonious. As I remember I never liked being the dumpee but since I wasn’t remotely in love only my pride was dinged, and that never took very long to heal.
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I was in a metal/grunge band in the 90's--we had two albums released--and played/toured quite a bit. Girls were always around and I'm the type who always gets hung up on one. The problem is that the girls you meet playing in bars aren't the type you want as girlfriends... So lots of bizarre break up stories for me, as well as strange situations. We mostly played around Missouri and Illinois when we weren't on the road to other places and I had a few one nighter's with one of the girls from Veruca Salt in Carbondale, IL (if you remember that band). But I was always the one who got overly attached too quick--and felt like shit when the inevitable "see ya" happened.
I remember back in the day you could measure a mans experience by how much he believed those stories. One time I read one and had to ask a girl I knew if it was talking about her. It was.
To quote my footy team's motto; "Out of darkness cometh light."
Hang in there. Let your next steps come to you.
Hang in there. Let your next steps come to you.
By the way it was in the 90's and the story was about a Librarian. She's married now but she still gives me a look when I see her that says she remembers our fun in vivid detail.I remember back in the day you could measure a mans experience by how much he believed those stories. One time I read one and had to ask a girl I knew if it was talking about her. It was.
Just had to throw that out for any pervert investigative types.
Oh most of my breakups where pretty uneventful. The one that I could share isn't really all that forum friendly when it comes down to it. And if you must know she was the bad guy in the scenario. Last time I ran into her I let her know she's forgiven and she was like only by you not by her.
Otherwise I chalk it up to most relationships don't work out.
Otherwise I chalk it up to most relationships don't work out.
@jguss are you up for the job?By the way it was in the 90's and the story was about a Librarian. She's married now but she still gives me a look when I see her that says she remembers our fun in vivid detail.
I would love if he figured that one out. I still remember reading the forum for a good laugh and then reading one and just thinking this sounds familiar. I pointed it out to her and a few weeks later she was like I know which guy wrote this.
