Best Joke Ever!

[winton]

Today, I remembered my best joke ever! When the kids were young, Josh asked me, "What are the advantages and disadvantages of plastic surgery?" I BEAMED! I finally got to tell this joke. Laura jumped in, "KIDS, WHATEVER DAD SAYS, DON'T BELIEVE HIM!. Josh has already put his head on the table. Grace was too young to understand.

"The major disadvantage of plastic surgery it that it is very hard to get a good cut with plastic knife!"

 

[Es0teric]

 

[Grangerous]

Ever hear of Murphy’s Law? Most people have. But the question begs— do you know about Cole’s Law?

Its Shredded Cabbage.

 

[warren]

I'd only feel comfortable giving the punch line: He lifted the tail and asked, "Does this look like yours lady?"

 

[Morrison Jeremiah]

Today, I remembered my best joke ever! When the kids were young, Josh asked me, "What are the advantages and disadvantages of plastic surgery?" I BEAMED! I finally got to tell this joke. Laura jumped in, "KIDS, WHATEVER DAD SAYS, DON'T BELIEVE HIM!. Josh has already put his head on the table. Grace was too young to understand.

"The major disadvantage of plastic surgery it that it is very hard to get a good cut with plastic knife!"

I take it that Laura is your wife.
Coincidence though, is that my two daughters are called Laura and Grace.

 

[anotherbob]

well since we're telling bad jokes here is one.
Little Johnny dressed up as a Pirate Captian to go trick or treating.
This little old lady answered the door and sad "Oh wonderful a Pirate Captain but I have to ask where are your Buccaneers?"
Little Johnny said "on the side of my Buccanhead you old bat".

 

[anotherbob]

and my all time favorite bad joke.
This dude goes to a movie theater and while he's waiting for the movie to start another guy and a dog sit in the seats right in front of him.
The dude doesn't think too much about it during the movie, but when the movie is over the guy and the dog start discussing the movie.
The dude blurts out "oh my gosh a talking dog"
The dog turns around and says to the dude "you think that's amazing, this movie was better then the book".

 

[lraisch]

I'd only feel comfortable giving the punch line: He lifted the tail and asked, "Does this look like yours lady?"

"Whack, right here with a nine iron"!

 

[warren]

That's the joke! Took me to the floor when one of my recruits told it in class. I was hors d'combat for a good thirty minutes.

 

[mortonbriar]

Macrame? I think knot!