Being Honest.

[bullet08]

Truth hurts. When I was a kid, if some statement bothered me, there were two options. Just take it and smile, or start a fight. Nowadays, it seems it lead to shouting match involving "I'm right. You are wrong!" Different generation. Different solution.

 

[brian64]

It's pandering to a minority. I have no problem with transgendered people as long as they aren't forcing my to do things I don't believe in.

I have no problem with them if they're not usurping women's spaces and/or going after children.

It says he came in at #92...can you imagine being one of the 8 real women who received the slap in the face of being told they ranked lower on this list than this dude?

This Maxim thing is just silly of course...but it illustrates a point. There are much more serious things going on regarding women's sports and all of the targeting of prepubescent children.

 

[El Capitán]

I have no problem with them if they're not usurping women's spaces and/or going after children.

It says he came in at #92...can you imagine being one of the 8 real women who received the slap in the face of being told they ranked lower on this list than this dude?

This Maxim thing is just silly of course...but it illustrates a point. There are much more serious things going on regarding women's sports and all of the targeting of prepubescent children.

Most I know have never tried to usurp women's spaces or gone after children. Again it's a minority. One of my cousins is transgendered but she (I refuse to call them anything but Hayley because that's how we grew up together) is one of those "do what I say or else it's homophobic." Tried to explain to her that doesn't make sense since I'm gay and I marched for our rights lmao.

 

[TheWhale13]

I mean the difference is that you're either being mean, or lying. And I'd rather lie. But I don't lie.

Often people describing themself as "honest" are just being dicks, because honesty is telling what you really think when it is necessary. I agree with you though, never would I say that an idiot is smart, or a fugly person beautiful.

 

[georged]

 

[instymp]

One can always choose to not make degrading observations. That's another choice.

If you are smart enough

 

[Laurent]

Honesty doesn’t mean shit today, when you have people that don’t acknowledge facts. Everyone is writing their own narratives. So, I sit in my shop, smoke my pipe and keep to myself. I think George Carlin said it best when he gave up on hope for humanity and now is just watching the human experiment destroy itself lol. My wife says I’m getting grumpier as I grow older so that might have something to do with it also. Lol

 

[Pooh-Bah]

I once heard a quote which was allegedly from ancient history, by a Greek about their old enemies the Persians, I believe.
"The nobles there teach their sons three things: How to ride a horse, how to shoot a bow, and to tell the truth"

 

[RookieGuy80]

There's a not small group of people who mistake "honest" for "boorish". You can not lie without being a jerk. I would feel much better about honesty if it were more understood where the line is.

 

[gamzultovah]

Honestly, I don't think any kid is good looking, so I rarely would comment on how a kid looks. I might make a comment to my wife as the kid and parent walks away, like "what an ugly kid." But, my opinion on that to the parent would be none of their business. As to whether they are smart or not... I'm not giving out IQ tests.

I don't feel compelled to lie to make someone feel better, but I don't have to put them down either. Hell, why am I talking to these dumb ugly kids anyways?

But, Mark Twain weighed in on the subject... On The Decay Of The Art Of Lying... he promoted lying to prevent people from feeling bad, and/or to manipulate a situation. Funny stuff, worth a read.

“Well bless your heart.” Took this Yankee a while to learn what that meant…

 

[cosmicfolklore]

“Well bless your heart.” Took this Yankee a while to learn what that meant…

You know… ha ha… I’ve never in my life heard a southern man say, “bless your heart.” It’s a little old lady thing. Maybe n Texas… in the Austin area. But, definitely you’ll never hear a man in Alabama say it. Southern men just cram their hands down in their front pockets and make a ttThckksss sound, sucking against their teeth, then maybe rock back and forth on the heals of their feet. Many have also perfected the fine art of the eye roll.

 

[tbradsim1]

Just don't say Nothing and walk away,!

 

[olkofri]

 

[JackOrion]

I personally like the pivoting to people speaking their subjective perspective, rather than claiming to speak an objective truth. I think people nowadays are (sometimes) more aware that we’re all flawed, subjective viewers with incomplete pictures.

Plenty of opinionated morons out there too, but I personally have come across more people recently who acknowledge their imperfection and subjective biases. I see it with kids a lot too - bullying is far less common, and people are more accepting of those different than them.

I think it belies a shift in how people see their place in the world - fewer and fewer people see themselves as somehow fundamentally special compared to their peers. There’s of course a metric ton of people who don’t follow this trend, but it seems to be moving in that direction, and I feel very positive about it!

I personally like the pivoting to people speaking their subjective perspective, rather than claiming to speak an objective truth. I think people nowadays are (sometimes) more aware that we’re all flawed, subjective viewers with incomplete pictures.

Plenty of opinionated morons out there too, but I personally have come across more people recently who acknowledge their imperfection and subjective biases. I see it with kids a lot too - bullying is far less common, and people are more accepting of those different than them.

I think it belies a shift in how people see their place in the world - fewer and fewer people see themselves as somehow fundamentally special compared to their peers. There’s of course a metric ton of people who don’t follow this trend, but it seems to be moving in that direction, and I feel very positive about it!

I was going to write a long reply, but I don’t think I could disagree more on multiple points. It’s best to leave it at that.

 

[Gimlet]

All I know is, if you ask your best friend what his new girl is like and he says "well she's got a great personality" you make a mental note to widen the door and strengthen the furniture in case he ever brings her round.

 

[anotherbob]

Truth hurts. When I was a kid, if some statement bothered me, there were two options. Just take it and smile, or start a fight. Nowadays, it seems it lead to shouting match involving "I'm right. You are wrong!" Different generation. Different solution.

online it does. And online the whole middle ground is treated like it doesn't exist. Example people act like you can't disagree with them or that you could find what someone says distasteful but o.k.. What's fun though is just like this forum there are a handful of chatty jerks like me but most people don't have a ton to say.

 

[anotherbob]

All I know is, if you ask your best friend what his new girl is like and he says "well she's got a great personality" you make a mental note to widen the door and strengthen the furniture in case he ever brings her round.

or when someone is trying to hook you up with their friend. They've a great personality is not a good sign.

 

[gubbyduffer]

Truth hurts. When I was a kid, if some statement bothered me, there were two options. Just take it and smile, or start a fight. Nowadays, it seems it lead to shouting match involving "I'm right. You are wrong!" Different generation. Different solution.

bullet, you have unleashed the anti woke brigade with a post about honesty. If you want my input on your OP then I would not suggest telling your niece she is ugly. There isn't anything to be gained from it. Your wife is right.

 

[captainsousie]

It seems some are conflating being honest with being a d***. Be honest but don't use that as an excuse to hurt someone else. Staying silent is an option surprisingly enough.

 

[Gimlet]

It seems some are conflating being honest with being a d***. Be honest but don't use that as an excuse to hurt someone else. Staying silent is an option surprisingly enough.

Tact, as it used to be called. A rare quality nowadays. And rarer still since society took to the internet. That tricky obstacle-strewn path between outright rudeness and well-meaning dishonesty that can do more harm than good, the ability to navigate adroitly between the two being the mark of an adult.