As for myself, I will not associate with aromatic smokers and believe any tobacco with a food in its name should be banned, and the blenders of such abominations made to write 1,000 times "I am terrible person and a defiler of tobacco."
Similarly, those who taint their whisky with ice or water or ::shudder:: soda should have all their spirits seized from them and be permitted only ever to drink warm ginger beer from a dirty cup.
Eat your steak anything other than rare? Well then a pox on you and your spawn -- if indeed you are even man enough to put a baby in your woman's belly. You will no longer be permitted to dishonor the sacrifice of honest cattle by charring their flesh beyond recognition. Your diet is henceforth limited to cream of wheat and boiled Brussel sprouts.
And, lastly, if you drink decaffeinated coffee, get ye hence from the company of decent folk, for you have no place among them. You are cast into the deepest, dankest, vilest realms. Sleep well.
And can you imagine? My wife says my consumption of tobacco, whisky, rare meat and strong coffee is responsible for making me grumpy sometimes. Silly, right?