Are We Too Casual?

[Buzz Saw]

The wife and I were at a retail store today in Cincinnati that sells what I would call luxury items. The last time I was at this location was probably 25 years ago, at which time the employees were dressed in suit and tie. Today the employees looked like they just got out of bed, that is, unshaven, wrinkled T shirts, uncombed hair, etc. Things have sure changed in the last few decades, and the changes have been especially fast since Covid.

Proper manners have gone away also, I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination, but the language used in conversation with my wife and I would make a sailor blush. I almost felt dirty upon leaving, and, unfortunately this all seems to be the norm. One more thing that seems to be universal also is no one can say a simple "thank you" for your patronage anymore. The closest one gets to that is "have a good one", not even close to a genuine appreciation for me spending my money with them.

Sorry for the complaining but I felt the need to vent a little.

 

[username]

I work retail technically as a delivery driver. I make it a point to say thank you to the customers. Can't comment on the clothes as I wear a polo shirt every work day.

 

[kcghost]

It does seem like there has been a loss in civility between patrons and customers. The internet has been the cause of most of this and to say nothing of Covid.

 

[warren]

Well, I haven't traveled much of the universe but, in my tiny bit, "thank yous" are common. Business owners appear to require clean clothes. Causal wear does appear to be prevalent, I'll admit. When I was a youngster flying meant putting on one's "Sunday go to meeting" clothes. Generations change. Some changes I'm not happy with but, accept grudingly. But, I won't tolerate so-called "adult" language so I walk away or, if in a store, I speak to the manager. I guess it's simply; you get what you abide.

I won't tolerate impoliteness. Rude behavior is simply wrong.

I won't spend money in places where the staff presents a lackadaisical attitude. Let the businesses know you are unhappy or, just get used to it. So, places I frequent measure up or my moneys go else where. I always let management/owners know why.

 

[Buzz Saw]

I work retail technically as a delivery driver. I make it a point to say thank you to the customers. Can't comment on the clothes as I wear a polo shirt every work day.

I understand, I am a diesel and heavy equipment mechanic myself but I'm sure that like you I try to dress the part and act professional, which of course includes watching my language, and sincerely thanking my customers for their business and the confidence they have placed in us.
I have been a mechanic for over 40 years, when I started, shop management and sales people wore ties in order to look good and project confidence, that is of course unheard of today.

 

[verporchting]

Dirty clothes and muddy shoes don’t bother me a bit when a fella is just earning his living! Love dirty fingernails and paint stains. Just take your hat off and be polite. Admire these people!

Not showered and dirty hair, wearing pajamas and bedroom slippers out in public because you’re just a slob and laying around? Not so much. Your mama should be ashamed.

Casual isn’t all bad but there’s a limit. I miss well dressed men and women with manners. It isn’t that hard. I grew up around folks who wore their best jeans and cowboy hat on Sunday and were always polite no matter what the circumstances. Never too casual for self respect and good manners. And soap. Their mamas are proud and rightly so.

My two cents worth.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

The level of professionalism and quality with customer service has declined alarmingly in the past ten to fifteen years. All while they expect a20% gratuity be added to almost everything. I'm okay with more casual dress but poor grooming and attitude are not.

 

[didimauw]

Some are just raised differently.

I'm a "Good morning", "thank you sir" kinda guy.

But this is what you get when I go out in public.

 

[sablebrush52]

It does seem like there has been a loss in civility between patrons and customers. The internet has been the cause of most of this and to say nothing of Covid.

Anti Social Media has contributed mightily to the loss of civility, which allows everyone to mouth off without the fear of having their teeth knocked out. In a way, it's been enlightening, since the false veneer of social grace has been stripped off.
People have a choice regarding how they decide to show up. Seems a lot are choosing to show up as slobbering nitwits.

 

[yohanan]

Love going to a place to spend my hard earned cash and leaving the place like I owed them, NOT!!!

 

[yanoJL]

I went on a date. Followed advice of friends & family to "put myself out there" again, now that's its been a few years since my wife passed.

I picked the young lady up at her home, and opened the car door for her. She looked at me like I'm an alien. Apparently, that's not a thing anymore.

So we get to the restaurant, a semi-decent place. I'm wearing a collared shirt, ironed, and a blazer. The other patrons, t-shirts and cargo shorts.

I felt out of place.
I felt.... old. Or maybe just old fashioned.

 

[verporchting]

Some are just raised differently.

I'm a "Good morning", "thank you sir" kinda guy.

But this is what you get when I go out in public.
View attachment 274755

The pants are a nice improvement, but where’s your pipe man?? Are mods allowed out without a pipe?!

 

[jpmcwjr]

Some 45 years ago I went to a lot of concerts at the SF Symphony. 90%+ of the men were in suits, or jacket and tie, and ladies— coiffed and turned out nicely.
Five years ago, my last time in SF, some of the attendees were in sweats!

But my chief cheese-off is men who wear hats indoors- including upscale restaurants and churches... Some of it is I hope- a California thing, and that there are higher standards back East.

 

[huntertrw]

But, I won't tolerate so-called "adult" language so I walk away or, if in a store, I speak to the manager. I guess it's simply; you get what you abide.

I won't tolerate impoliteness. Rude behavior is simply wrong.

This brings to mind a line spoken by John Wayne's character, John Bernard Books, in The Shootist: "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

 

[bullet08]

I grew up in NYC back in 80s. What the hell is "thank you"? Imagine moving down to NC in middle of highschool. "Good morning!" "Thank you!" "Excuse me!" Culture shock from hell. Now I have assimilated. I even wave at people while driving around. I don't care for dressing up, but when an occasion calls for it, I'm willing to take a chance and restrict blood flow to my brain.

 

[proteus]

I really hate when I say "Thank you" and the other person says "Yup". Or "Uh huh". Or the cashier blurts out the total "28.95" and nothing more; when I can find a cashier that is. I can cite even more examples but I'm sure you've noticed them too. And driving. Forget it. I could write a book. Dare I say society is collapsing. Ghandi said it best. The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Indeed. The inclusion of "how we treat others" would not be very far from that sentiment.

Customer no service. The new era of dysfunction.

Manners were leaving the building even before corona pushed them out the door for good.

 

[Singed]

I miss civility. There really is nothing more I can add to the discussion except that I share the disappointment with current norms.

 

[Rossi320]

It is how we raise our children

 

[Winnipeger]

Sorry I couldn't help it. I actually don't disagree with you, but whad'ya gonna do? Have a good one.

 

[fireground_piper]

I don't believe male sweatpants should even exist, let alone be worn outside the house but that's just me. My wife knows I'm going to give her a look if I see such an attired person out and about.

Personally, I toy with the idea of bringing the waistcoat back.