This should be a best seller in the self-help section of your local bookstore.Then it's back to the ramen and tobacco diet.
If you get creative with Ramen, it can be quite good. First step is to toss the spice packet.
Then, boil your water and add some vegetables, even any local critters you can shoot (squirrels and pigeons).
Finally, toss in the ramen itself, breaking it up so it fits among the other ingredients. Takes about two minutes max to cook.