Another Sign Of Getting Old.

[cosmicfolklore]

It is my theory that once you get to a certain age your hair decides to grow inward. If I had the hair growing on top of my head like I do coming out my nose and ears I would need to use a weed trimmer to cut it.

Mine migrated South, down my back and chest, ha ha.

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

In my teens I wouldn't be seen dead wearing anything else than t-shirt and jeans.
But now I'm indoors with a vest, shirt, waistcoat, and jacket.
Sometimes I even wear a parka indoors. That's how sad it is getting older !

Thumbs up for "waistcoat"!

As to the original, my gas fueled garage heater will be installed tomorrow so whether it's 40 degrees or -15 degrees this winter, I expect a balmy 50 minimum in the garage! My only admitted concession to age so far.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

Every condo or house I sold not once did I get someone bitching about the smell. Candles are your friends and lots are needed. Another way to fuck up someone's sense of smell is to fire a few shots of Ozium at the front door as they walk in. Ozium is the balls. Been using it since the mid seventies when teachers would come into out dorm rooms we blasted them with Ozium and while they could see smoke, they couldn't tell it was weed or cigarettes'. We did have 3 teachers who were cool and didn't care and would actually smoke with us on occasion. I always provided the wee das I had more than anyone at the school.

Luckily my girlfriend lived right next to the school and I kept my stash in her hey loft. They used to search my dorm on a regular basis and found nothing. I had 4 guys selling for me and the headmaster had no clue.

The headmaster threatened to throw me out of the school for dealing even though I was never caught with any drugs. When he called me into his office to get rid of me. I told him he had better check with my dad who owned his own corporate law firm. The head master called my dad and after my dad asked the right questions, my dad asked him if he could afford getting papered to death by attorneys for a few years in court and my dad asked him how much his lawyers would charge him as he was litigating for free when it came to me. The head master never bothered me again even though he saw kids handing me all kinds of cash in the lunch line. That pissed him of to no end. Eventually he liked me as I saved a kid from jumping off the third floor fire escape. That would have been a hell of a law suit.

I had this thing about kids who were mistreated and were told they were less than. I got in more fights than I can count as I was like that since 7th grade. I hated fucking bullies and kicked their asses as often as I could. The Irish kids were the ones I fought with the most, just like at home.

Privileged child it appears

 

[jaytex1969]

I stood in the parking lot at work, mashing on the "unlock" button for my work van.

It took a half minute of this before I looked down to see my personal vehicle fob in my hand and the work van keys in the other, dormant hand.

I now listen to the classical music station way more than any other at work and mute every commercial break.

All of my vehicles are actually registered and insured all of the time now.

A six pack can last as long as a week now.

I don't leave the house during rush hour in my personal time.

Closed captioning has become my friend.

I now have one of those pill dispensers labelled for days of the week.

I installed a slip resistant thing in the bath tub after an episode of involuntary break dancing.

There is a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house.

I no longer know any of the stuff being played on pop music channels.

I know most of the names of death notice subjects in the news.

People hold doors for me more often these days.

I finally had to begrudgingly admit that Neil Diamond is a great American singer/songwriter.

My credit score is no longer embarrassing.

I've been accepted here as a codger initiate...

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

So far so good on urinating at night.

 

[hauntedmyst]

That, and waking up to pee a dozen times a night, toenails turn to cast iron, hair growing out my ears, and injuring myself by just sleeping. Ha ha!

Yes! What is up with the extra hair growing in our ears and out our noses? Are we suddenly Bedouins that we need protection from blowing sand? I never realized I have to stick a weedwhacker up my nose every few weeks.

 

[OzPiper]

In my teens I wouldn't be seen dead wearing anything else than t-shirt and jeans.
But now I'm indoors with a vest, shirt, waistcoat, and jacket.
Sometimes I even wear a parka indoors. That's how sad it is getting older !

Longjohns

 

[scloyd]

This morning my wife and I went out for breakfast. As we sat there chatting while we waited for our food I said "I don't remember what I ordered?" My wife had to remind me that I ordered the Bonanza Special...french toast, scrambled eggs and bacon.

I will often walk into a room for a specific item and then forget what I went in there for.

That makes me feel old.

 

[jaytex1969]

I went into my checking account recently to see where $150 went and found that I had paid a certain bill twice...

 

[jpberg]

Privileged child it appears

It’s all the same.

 

[WVOldFart]

This morning my wife and I went out for breakfast. As we sat there chatting while we waited for our food I said "I don't remember what I ordered?" My wife had to remind me that I ordered the Bonanza Special...french toast, scrambled eggs and bacon.

I will often walk into a room for a specific item and then forget what I went in there for.

That makes me feel old.

At least you must have been able to read the menu. If I forget my glasses they might as well have fried mice in opossum fat and I'd say "I'll have that." I miss being able to see like I use to.

 

[jaytex1969]

So far so good on urinating at night.

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.

The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at eight o'clock I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas, I'm ninety years old. Every morning at seven o'clock sharp I urinate. Every morning at eight o'clock I move my bowels. Now, if I could just get out of bed before nine..."

 

[Andriko]

I am a bigger curmudgeon more each day, and I hate having to 'go out' and 'have fun'. But that's all fine. I enjoy it. I'd love a lawn so I can tell kids to get off of it.

But what the hell happens to my bladder in the middle of the night? It's like it shrinks in the dark. I highly recommend a James Hilman Youtube video about the phenomenon if your into his kind of psychology (He suggests that the goddess Nyx (night personified) gets into bed with you, bringing all her children, such as Doom, Distress, Indignation, Old Age and Death)).

 

[Chasing Embers]

42 degree

To me that'd be a no.

81 degrees

9 degrees below where I like it.

Sometimes I even wear a parka indoors.

Same

hair growing out my ears,

I started that around 15.☹

 

[Chasing Embers]

I stood in the parking lot at work, mashing on the "unlock" button for my work van.

I've tried to use my work key card to unlock my car and house.?‍

 

[Chasing Embers]

I went into my checking account recently to see where $150 went and found that I had paid a certain bill twice...



View attachment 108227

Been there!?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Mrs Cosmic turned the heat on for the first time and the dust burning off it set the fire alarm off after I had gone to bed, and I reached over and answered my phone.

 

[shanez]

Ah getting old. Nothing like waking up and wondering "now why the hell does that hurt?".

For those of you using the word "waistcoat" I may have some bad news about being old...???

 

[Grangerous]

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

 

[scloyd]

I've always had a thing for older women...now I have one.