Am I a hypocrite to my child?

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cigrmaster

Lifer
May 26, 2012
20,248
57,310
67
Sarasota Florida
I refuse to be a hypocrite to my children so I tell them the dangers and then the decision is up to them. My oldest son( 22) smokes cigarettes and my pipes. I smoked cigarettes and so does my ex, so I say nothing. My other 3 don't smoke but if they choose to, I will say nothing. They know the risks and it is their lives. When I did smoke cigarettes and the kids would bug me, I would tell them, that when they are of age, they can do what they want and do not pester me, because I won't pester them. I don't need permission from my kids to do whatever I feel like doing, they are the kids and they don't make the rules.

 

taerin

Lifer
May 22, 2012
1,851
3
Part of the problem we face as pipesmokers is that most of us by the looks of it don't want our children to do it, however we face legistlation all the time designed to prevent future generations from taking up tobacco... With that kind of stima attatched to it (even within our own group), how are we going to possibley keep our rights as pipesmokers? I don't think we will prevail because of this, and it is a big part of why our numbers are dying out. This is not a troll post or anything ment to hurt someone that believes that way, just a gut feeling and an observation, and this is not a political post.
I would personally want my children (if I had some!) to enjoy everything I enjoy, I do not have any habbits that are so bad that they should not be enjoyed by others (including them in moderation) and I would like to think they would bea ble to enjoy them in moderation... Not wanting them to do something "because they might not be able to control themselves" after all has been stated here several times as a reason to keep children from partaking already by concerned parents and it is exactly the reasoning we are loosing our rights are pipe smokers today (although mostly from non-pipe smokers, as pipe smokers do not generally push nanny policies reguardless of their feelings). This scares me a little.
The only thing I would condone is underage use of such pleasures as we should give our bodies till adulthood to grow without the use of drugs, after which time anyone, not matter how much I care about them, I will encourage to take up the pipe and enjoy alcohol in moderation, if they fail to do so in moderation, the consequences are on them, it is just one of the risks that comes with having freedom. Supporting such freedom for everyone but our children because we don't want them to do it, is almost the same as not supporting it at all in my book. With that said, I will not look down upon hypocrites, just as long as they do not push legislation against the rest of us and they continue to speak out for our freedoms publicly.
My 2 cents, written from the heart :)

@ Cigarmaster, I could not agree more :)

 

fitzy

Lifer
Nov 13, 2012
2,937
28
NY
I finally got around to getting on a computer to check this post and I'm surprised to see so many comments. Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner. Thank you everyone for your comments.
I think you guys are right. I need to keep doing what I'm doing which is informing him as to the hazards of smoking and making him into an adult that can make decisions for himself. Until the day he's an adult however he's going to have to abide by the rules of my house(I know when he's a teen that may not always work the way I want it though. I'm not unrealistic). I tell him now that he needs to take everything in moderation. That includes eating, drinking, smoking etc.
Brian64 - The problem is smoking is bad for your health. I'm not sure if your trying to say that's propaganda but I do believe that to be the truth. I've seen it first hand with both my grandfathers dead from lung cancer in their mid 50's from smoking cigarettes. I don't want to see my son going the same route. However i do believe smoking a pipe/cigar in moderation has a much lower probability of adverse health effects.
flmasion - I read recently about how parents used to hand down a pipe to their son's on their confirmation. I'm sort of interested in starting a family tradition similar to that however that would be at 18. I'm not looking to influence him into smoking a pipe but into just starting a family tradition and I think collecting pipes is a fun hobby.
Once again thanks everyone for your help.

 

fitzy

Lifer
Nov 13, 2012
2,937
28
NY
Eric. I just saw your post now.
I don't necessarily agree. I believe it's less popular due to 2 factors. The first being that people are aware that smoking can have adverse health effects. 70 years ago when my grandparents started smoking they didn't know it caused cancer and other issue's so far more people smoked then(higher percentage of smokers to non smokers).
The other cause I believe is our government. They feel the need to be a nanny state and tell people what they can and can't do even in their own homes. A perfect example of this is the 75% tax rate charged in NY State for tobacco purchases. That tax is in place to purposely try to stop people from smoking. That 20 dollar tin you buy costs me 35 dollars. Give it 5 more years and I guarantee that tax rate will be 150%.
I have also read in the past few years pipe smoking as been on the rise. I've read this in a few places on the internet and heard it discussed on pipesmagazine.com's internet radio show. I think there are a few reasons for this:
The first is that I think people believe cigarette's are far more hazardous(hazardous chemicals are added to cigarettes plus cigarette smoke is inhaled) for you than pipe smoking so people are looking for an alternative.
I also think this increase in pipe smokers is related to the cost of smoking a pipe is less than cigarettes. In NYC for example a pack of cigarettes is well over $10. Most cigarette smokers I know are addicted and smoke on a far more regular basis and are spending 15 to 30 dollars a day on cigarettes. I think you can purchase pipe tobacco and enjoy it for less money. Also cigar prices are getting more expensive as well which may push more cigar smokers towards smoking.
I think my final reason for this increase is that the non smoking population finds the smell of pipe smoke far more tolerable(even enjoyable for some) than cigarettes and cigars.
Oh and in my opinion pipe smoking in general is a more enjoyable event.
Just my 2cents.

 

brian64

Lifer
Jan 31, 2011
10,087
16,222
Brian64 - The problem is smoking is bad for your health. I'm not sure if your trying to say that's propaganda but I do believe that to be the truth. I've seen it first hand with both my grandfathers dead from lung cancer in their mid 50's from smoking cigarettes. I don't want to see my son going the same route. However i do believe smoking a pipe/cigar in moderation has a much lower probability of adverse health effects.
The propaganda I'm referring to is the lumping of pipe and cigar smokers in with cigarette smokers. And even in the case of cigarette smoking, IMO, the additives are the primary problem...not the tobacco.
Another way in which the propaganda works is to place a disproportionate focus on the health effects of smoking while virtually ignoring many other issues, such as the cancer causing effects of consuming genetically modified foods as well as the many toxic additives in so much of the processed food sold to the public. The "system" is not making the children aware of these dangers even though pediatric cancer rates continue to skyrocket.

 
Aug 1, 2012
4,890
5,713
USA
70 years ago when my grandparents started smoking they didn't know it caused cancer and other issue's so far more people smoked then(higher percentage of smokers to non smokers).
This is an incorrect statement. The first documented case of cigarettes referred to as "coffin nails" occurred in 1896. Additionally George William Curtis, the editor of Harper's Weekly, wrote of the 3 main dangers of tobacco as "cancer, heart disease, and lung disease." The illustrator Thomas Nast also did several cartoons that include the dangers of cigarettes in the mid to late 1800s.
The idea that our parents/grandparents were innocent of danger is a bit far fetched anyway when you look back. They may not have treated the danger in the same way we do but they still knew it existed.

 

lankfordjl

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 29, 2011
611
2
Texas
After reading the above, I agree but want to share my thoughts: The fact is that anything in excess can cause cancer - any chemical, food, or activity. If it causes excessive irritation or damage to cells then it can cause cancer - whether bacterial, viral, chemical, electromagnetic, excessive friction on cells, etc.. Pipe smoking (non-inhaling) in moderation is no more harmful than the occasional rich after-dinner dessert. Now, what is excess and what is moderation? It varies with each individual. (The individual must decide for himself, not the government.)

 

slowwideturns

Starting to Get Obsessed
Sep 16, 2012
276
1
Look at this way, he could be doing a lot worse things than smoking a pipe of tobacco occasionally

 
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