I guess that the stem is a male component of the pipe much in the same way a strap on is.
Also, for the record, and completely off topic, while it doesn’t offend my delicate sensibilities, I take issue with the whole Roman idea of male and/or female designation, or rather more properly “penetrator” and “penetrated”. Not because of the forms or functions of the parts involved, but how they have been co-opted by a patriarchal centred power discourse.
Broseph, Gen. 1:27 was penned long before Romulus sucked a wolf's tit.
Rome perverted and deviated from the good design -- so have we all to one degree or another -- but the alternative to all the deviations is the good design, not another deviation.
When people experience husbands and fathers like the Husband and Father -- like I have reason to think that your lucky family does -- they love it and would want nothing else.