A Rumination on Whether It's Worth $32,000 (US)
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Of course it's a marketing ploy. Almost everything we're told to believe is a marketing ploy.
What! Say it ain't so!!
You mean like, "Water will damage/ruin your pipes"- so, here "buy our
I don't think a drunk dot com millionaire would fall for this. He'd steady his crossed eyes and sway as he ordered a Dr. Grabow for forty bucks, and enjoy the pipe when it arrived. For the suggested price, he could buy a rundown amusement park in a prairie small town, a real investment property.
I agree, by appearances, all of my pipes are dead.
Good to know. Same here, so with that confo, I won't be putting root powder on a briar and sticking it back in the soil.
This was what Julius Vesz claimed his "dead root" briar was; not only dead but dead for hundreds of years before harvest. I don't know if he still makes that claim today. I do remember reading one response on the interwebs that it can't be, because a briar ball that had been in the ground for years after the plant had died would be all cracked and up unusable. In others words, it's marketing BS that hasn't been documented to be true.
That's exactly the case.
Talk to any of the briar distributors (meaning the Europeans who harvest and process the stuff) and they just laugh at the "dead root" nonsense.
Alfred understood marketing, is all, which boils down to "no one ever got rich by overestimating the intelligence of their customers". He weaved a romatic story from plausible-sounding cloth, devoted a catalog page and a product line to it, and time did the rest.
Unless Vesz has a way to accurately date the burl, it's only a claim.
The Briar in my pipes is so dead that even the ghosts don't talk to me.
Dunhill went through that phase in the 70-80s when there was a craze for Danish freehands.
Those Dunhills were made FOR and NOT by Dunhill, as far as I know.
Obviously, none of you guys bothered to read the description!
(Yes, the following is copied directly from the real description)
"Pipe of Pipes none better than this one ever.Probably made by Alfred Dunhill himself for a client or could be even his own personal pipe."
I'm going to break this down and help you all see why you should be trampling each other to hit the buy it now button!
1. Pipe of Pipes none better
Best pipe in the world. None better. Pipe of Pipes and Bowl of Bowls. I don't really think I need go on, but I will.
2. PROBABLY made by ALFRED DUNHILL HIMSELF!
Alfred might have made this with his own Dunhill hands. Let that sink in. He might not have, but he PROBABLY did.
3. Could be even his own personal pipe!
You, yes you even, could be even the infinitive splitting owner of Alfred's own personal pipe! A pipe that could have been even smoked using his very own Dunhill lungs!
You schmucks can keep twiddling your thumbs if you want to, but if this thing is still for sell come the third Thursday, after Labor Day 2025, I'm going to put in a serious offer!
(Yes, the following is copied directly from the real description)
"Pipe of Pipes none better than this one ever.Probably made by Alfred Dunhill himself for a client or could be even his own personal pipe."
I'm going to break this down and help you all see why you should be trampling each other to hit the buy it now button!
1. Pipe of Pipes none better
Best pipe in the world. None better. Pipe of Pipes and Bowl of Bowls. I don't really think I need go on, but I will.
2. PROBABLY made by ALFRED DUNHILL HIMSELF!
Alfred might have made this with his own Dunhill hands. Let that sink in. He might not have, but he PROBABLY did.
3. Could be even his own personal pipe!
You, yes you even, could be even the infinitive splitting owner of Alfred's own personal pipe! A pipe that could have been even smoked using his very own Dunhill lungs!
You schmucks can keep twiddling your thumbs if you want to, but if this thing is still for sell come the third Thursday, after Labor Day 2025, I'm going to put in a serious offer!
With a sales pitch like this, how could anyone pass on this momentous opportunity. BTW, you forgot to mention the pixel high fine print where the seller goes on to list the extras that accompany this pipe of pipes, including ownership of a bridge that spans the East River, and 10,000 acres of prime swamp land ready for development, and the formula for Coca-Cola.
Hey, you're looking at the owner of the 59th Street Bridge, at least the Manhattan side of it.
It was a bitch collecting tolls, and I had to stop after the 5th guy drew on me and told me to do something unnatural, indeed, impossible, to achieve.
It was a bitch collecting tolls, and I had to stop after the 5th guy drew on me and told me to do something unnatural, indeed, impossible, to achieve.
