A Little Humor for the Day 2025
- Thread starter cosmicfolklore
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Not my fav, but it still makes me chuckle. Another from the cellar...
I can prove to everyone right now that sex is better for the woman than the man. Stick your finger in your ear and wiggle it around. Which feels better your ear or your finger?
My PDQ Bach records are packed away somewhere, so I'm recreating from memory a story I haven't heard in 30 years or more.
One morning a young man showed up for his job at the aquarium. His boss immediately called him into her office.
She said to him, "I really need your help. When I arrived this morning, I learned that the dolphins have suddenly become extremely amorous, and are doing all sorts of things to each other. That's normally not a problem, but we have a busload of second graders showing up in an hour, and this isn't the kind of show we want them to see.
"The only thing that acts as an anti-aphrodisiac for dolphins is the meat of baby seagulls, so I need you to take this bag, run down to the beach, collect as many baby seagulls as you can, and bring them back quickly. But beware: I just heard that a lion escaped from the state zoo this morning! The zookeepers managed to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, so he may be drowsy, but still be careful out there! Now go: those kids will be here soon!"
The young man picked up the bag, ran out the door, and down to the beach. He found the seagull nests and filled his bag with babies. Since time was running out, he took a shortcut through the woods to get back to the aquarium.
Halfway there, he saw the escaped lion right in his path. He didn't have time to take a longer route back, and the lion appeared to be asleep, so the young man waited a moment, and heard the lion snoring. Very carefully, he crept up to the lion, and when the lion kept snoring, the young man carefully lifted his left leg over the lion, and then his right leg. The lion didn't wake up. With a sigh of relief, the young man turned his back to the lion and began to walk up the path.
Immediately, a police officer stepped out from behind a tree and said, "You're under arrest!"
Confused, the young man said, "But officer, what's the charge?"
"Transporting young gulls across a state lion for immoral porpoises."
One morning a young man showed up for his job at the aquarium. His boss immediately called him into her office.
She said to him, "I really need your help. When I arrived this morning, I learned that the dolphins have suddenly become extremely amorous, and are doing all sorts of things to each other. That's normally not a problem, but we have a busload of second graders showing up in an hour, and this isn't the kind of show we want them to see.
"The only thing that acts as an anti-aphrodisiac for dolphins is the meat of baby seagulls, so I need you to take this bag, run down to the beach, collect as many baby seagulls as you can, and bring them back quickly. But beware: I just heard that a lion escaped from the state zoo this morning! The zookeepers managed to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, so he may be drowsy, but still be careful out there! Now go: those kids will be here soon!"
The young man picked up the bag, ran out the door, and down to the beach. He found the seagull nests and filled his bag with babies. Since time was running out, he took a shortcut through the woods to get back to the aquarium.
Halfway there, he saw the escaped lion right in his path. He didn't have time to take a longer route back, and the lion appeared to be asleep, so the young man waited a moment, and heard the lion snoring. Very carefully, he crept up to the lion, and when the lion kept snoring, the young man carefully lifted his left leg over the lion, and then his right leg. The lion didn't wake up. With a sigh of relief, the young man turned his back to the lion and began to walk up the path.
Immediately, a police officer stepped out from behind a tree and said, "You're under arrest!"
Confused, the young man said, "But officer, what's the charge?"
"Transporting young gulls across a state lion for immoral porpoises."
