🌟 🎄 🎅 The UnOfficial Official 2025 PM Secret Santa Thread 🎅 🎄 🌟

[infectedpsyche]

Dr Seuss’s Christmas: PMSS25


In the frizzle frazzle month of December boo,
Commissar of Christmas Mike cried, “Oh what shall I do?”
Spreadsheets like mountains, coffee all zapped,
While old men and usernames all gronkled and snapped.

OddBall stomped loudly, his briar went thwap-thwap,
Wyfbane puffed smoke in a wild wiggle-wap.
Ahi Ka spun upside down with a jar of Latakia,
AshDigger’s plug burst into a cloud of paprika!

InfectedPsyche rode a catapult of cherry,
Keith929’s blend exploded in a flurry.
Ryan juggled tins of aromatic delight,
Kingsley blew smoke rings that glowed in the night.

DublinPiper90 tripped on a bowl of Virginia,
Pipenschmoeker123’s tobaccos danced in mania.
Dcrguns hurled a meerschaum that sang boing-boing,
Mtwaller’s wrapped cigars started to sing.

TubbyinTweed flopped on a pipe ribbon trampoline,
Trouttimes smoked a cob that glimmered turquoise green.
GKChesterton’s pipe erupted with sparkly plumes,
DeaconPiper twirled in a field of aromatic fumes.

AndreT_NY tied Sablebrush52 to a hookah kite,
While Jerry and Shift’s tobacco tins flew out of sight.
Infantry23 lit a pipe that belched peppermint smoke,
Sobrbiker and Revnatorade CNG sank in a blendy cloak.

Dr. Van Loafer sneezed up a bag of mysterious blend,
CSTREEPER541’s briar grew arms without end.
Questionable Source wrapped RSChrecks in ribbons of Latakia,
FLDRD’s cherry plug launched into JoeW’s pizzeria!

Chalaw87 spun a tobacco scented tornado with Abe Cox,
Speakeasy swung B.Lew in a cloud of fragrant flocks.
HawkeyeLinus arrived just in nick of time,
Username puffed a pipe of chocolate smoky lime.

BluegrassBrian bounced with Manawydan’s pouch of Cavendish,
Thermonicscott’s meerschaum exploded in a peppermint swish.
The Iron Monkey juggled MasterBlaster’s tin,
Sidehatch rolled Burley down the chimney with a spin.

SLEVY007 hurled LotusEater’s tobacco into the snow,
OddBall and Briaronboerum smoked plug loops below.
Tmcg81, Pypke, BenMN, MikePiper in shock,
Beef and HeavyLeadBelly puffed pipes that went pop-pop-pop!

Jacob74 rode a flying briar like a broom,
Manny Torres tripped in a Virginia scented room.
JWebb90 slid on Lupy1234’s ribbon of Burley,
SBC and Brad H puffed clouds that twirled early.

TNJed drank CoffeeAndBourbon while lighting a cob,
Bobpnm somersaulted through aromatic tobacco smog.

And then oh then! Mike was spinning, spinning, spinning,
Through a 3D maze of pipes and tins, the world thinning.
Smoke clouds swirled like cosmic cotton candy,
Boxes flipped, ribbons twisted, the space all dandy.

SOM BESTHS laughed and warped the laws of all things,
Time looped like ribbons, gravity had wings.
Misspelled names collided in smoke filled delight,
“sobrbiker” tangled with “Sobriker” mid flight.

Every username had gifts bouncing, flying, exploding,
Latakia rivers and Burley clouds exploding, corroding.
HawkeyeLinus twisted through “hawkeyelinus”’s tin,
While “AndreT_NY” and “Andre_T” spun in a spin.

Boxes became dragons puffing aromatic streams,
Candy canes galloped in Latakia dreams.
Even the grumpiest, grouchiest, smoke blowing guest,
Loved Secret Santa chaos and SOM BESTHS the best!

Mike clutched his poor head, spiraling still,
Through the pipe tobacco maze, against all will.
And I, scribble scrabbler, to outshine old Jerry,
Made this tale the zaniest, wildest, most merry!

 

[trouttimes]

 

[trouttimes]

 

[dcrguns]

 

[dcrguns]

 

[Goblin_Walrus]

You know, once, on my way to work, I saw a helicopter on a trailer, bright orange, and I knew where it was headed. Some guy lives south of me and every now and again him and his buddies or whoever buzz our street. And it’s not that it’s loud, it’s just the fact that they own helicopters. What’s wrong with planes, goddamnit? I mean hell he only does it four, six times a month, and it’s his helicopter for Chrissakes, but damned if it doesn’t bug me, man. You know, it’s enough with the DEA or whoever flying helicopters way up high on account of the grow-op that got busted down the way, I understand that, even if I don’t like it, which I don’t. I don’t like that the DEA is up there, watching me and my family. My wife sunbathes out there! But at least the government owns that, these guys, they come in low, maybe 400’ or a little lower if the weather is nice. It just, man! I guess it is the noise a little bit, but it’s also the color. I’m talking blaze orange, neon blaze orange, which I have to respect of course because of the inherent value of high visibility livery on vehicles, especially aircraft, but it’s, you know, it’s this great screaming orange character with red and white helicopter buddies, and it just gets me mad, man. I just, you know, I picture some idea of the smile I know he’s wearing, how great that noise must be when you yourself are making it, and fuck I lose it dude. I mean, I get so worked up, and what’s even worse, is the thought that it might all just stop one day out of the clear blue sky. You know, I’d be shaken just because of the broken routine, first of all, and then, when the whole pattern disintegrates with repeated failures to reiterate that would be like the floor dropping out. I cannot imagine living my life knowing that I would never truly understand this helicopter person or his helicopter buddies, never knowing where they went, even their names. It’s, you know, it’s just that I feel entitled after all this time, why the hell do you love helicopters so much anyway? Why is it that you get to smile that bug-eyed, gap-toothed smile that I love imagining so much while you whizz around so close to my dogs? Huh? You know, I mean I drive a truck around for a living, get out and crawl in people’s attics too, and I just don’t have anything for it. What the hell would possess someone, some contemptible free -spirit son-of-a-bitch to go flying like that over my dogs? Anyway, yeah, it’s a one-way street, owning your own helicopter. And I’m walking down it the wrong way, I guess.

Som’s belts to anybody who actually read that.

 

[Questionable Source]

Anyway, yeah, it’s a one-way street, owning your own helicopter. And I’m walking down it the wrong way, I guess.

Som’s belts to anybody who actually read that.

Well we know what to get you, just ask to buzz the guys house for the entire tour:

Helicopter tours | Lone Star Helicopters | Lago Vista

Based in Lago Vista, TX, Lone Star Helicopters offers helicopter aerial tours, helicopter flight training, aerial utility support, production flights, hog eradication, MLDP game counts, brokerage and aircraft management services.

www.lonestarheli.com

Som's Belts!

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

@HawkeyeLinus the people have spoken and it seems you need to be included. Email me your details as per the first post ASAP please!

LOL, I was one of the first wave in!

Somehow a couple folks initially missed the joke and subsequent posts and looks like it suddenly gained momentum - now I'm feeling really guilty and woke up looking like Sally Field at Oscar night - "You don't hate me!" (well, except for Santa - I always knew as a kid that whole business about being on Santa's list was total crap - I mean what if he forgets you're on his list? See? I knew it all along!).

Anyway, my apologies! Just send me coal!

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

"Santa says he's not real - what if nobody gets me breakfast ever again? Will anyone toss me a ball? Can I have all his stuff?"

 

[Andre_T]

I would give 0 fucks about any amount of gift cards if you sent me McClellands tins... lol

Guys he only said tins. Not the contents therein.

 

[Brad H]

Guys he only said tins. Not the contents therein.

Ohhh. Good catch!
I’ll stuff the tins with 20 different gift cards.
I got a few empty mcclelland tins.

 

[Oddball]

i was just gonna crush up empty tins and stuff them into other empty tins, no labels..

 

[Speak Easy]

i was just gonna crush up empty tins and stuff them into other empty tins, no labels..

That’s my favorite blend. Hard to light but once it’s going…hard to beat.

 

[Infantry23]

You know, once, on my way to work, I saw a helicopter on a trailer, bright orange, and I knew where it was headed. Some guy lives south of me and every now and again him and his buddies or whoever buzz our street. And it’s not that it’s loud, it’s just the fact that they own helicopters. What’s wrong with planes, goddamnit? I mean hell he only does it four, six times a month, and it’s his helicopter for Chrissakes, but damned if it doesn’t bug me, man. You know, it’s enough with the DEA or whoever flying helicopters way up high on account of the grow-op that got busted down the way, I understand that, even if I don’t like it, which I don’t. I don’t like that the DEA is up there, watching me and my family. My wife sunbathes out there! But at least the government owns that, these guys, they come in low, maybe 400’ or a little lower if the weather is nice. It just, man! I guess it is the noise a little bit, but it’s also the color. I’m talking blaze orange, neon blaze orange, which I have to respect of course because of the inherent value of high visibility livery on vehicles, especially aircraft, but it’s, you know, it’s this great screaming orange character with red and white helicopter buddies, and it just gets me mad, man. I just, you know, I picture some idea of the smile I know he’s wearing, how great that noise must be when you yourself are making it, and fuck I lose it dude. I mean, I get so worked up, and what’s even worse, is the thought that it might all just stop one day out of the clear blue sky. You know, I’d be shaken just because of the broken routine, first of all, and then, when the whole pattern disintegrates with repeated failures to reiterate that would be like the floor dropping out. I cannot imagine living my life knowing that I would never truly understand this helicopter person or his helicopter buddies, never knowing where they went, even their names. It’s, you know, it’s just that I feel entitled after all this time, why the hell do you love helicopters so much anyway? Why is it that you get to smile that bug-eyed, gap-toothed smile that I love imagining so much while you whizz around so close to my dogs? Huh? You know, I mean I drive a truck around for a living, get out and crawl in people’s attics too, and I just don’t have anything for it. What the hell would possess someone, some contemptible free -spirit son-of-a-bitch to go flying like that over my dogs? Anyway, yeah, it’s a one-way street, owning your own helicopter. And I’m walking down it the wrong way, I guess.

Som’s belts to anybody who actually read that.

1- I can relate to this type of cathartic stream of consciousness writing.

2- Dude, you ok?!

 

[dcrguns]

You know, once, on my way to work, I saw a helicopter on a trailer, bright orange, and I knew where it was headed. Some guy lives south of me and every now and again him and his buddies or whoever buzz our street. And it’s not that it’s loud, it’s just the fact that they own helicopters. What’s wrong with planes, goddamnit? I mean hell he only does it four, six times a month, and it’s his helicopter for Chrissakes, but damned if it doesn’t bug me, man. You know, it’s enough with the DEA or whoever flying helicopters way up high on account of the grow-op that got busted down the way, I understand that, even if I don’t like it, which I don’t. I don’t like that the DEA is up there, watching me and my family. My wife sunbathes out there! But at least the government owns that, these guys, they come in low, maybe 400’ or a little lower if the weather is nice. It just, man! I guess it is the noise a little bit, but it’s also the color. I’m talking blaze orange, neon blaze orange, which I have to respect of course because of the inherent value of high visibility livery on vehicles, especially aircraft, but it’s, you know, it’s this great screaming orange character with red and white helicopter buddies, and it just gets me mad, man. I just, you know, I picture some idea of the smile I know he’s wearing, how great that noise must be when you yourself are making it, and fuck I lose it dude. I mean, I get so worked up, and what’s even worse, is the thought that it might all just stop one day out of the clear blue sky. You know, I’d be shaken just because of the broken routine, first of all, and then, when the whole pattern disintegrates with repeated failures to reiterate that would be like the floor dropping out. I cannot imagine living my life knowing that I would never truly understand this helicopter person or his helicopter buddies, never knowing where they went, even their names. It’s, you know, it’s just that I feel entitled after all this time, why the hell do you love helicopters so much anyway? Why is it that you get to smile that bug-eyed, gap-toothed smile that I love imagining so much while you whizz around so close to my dogs? Huh? You know, I mean I drive a truck around for a living, get out and crawl in people’s attics too, and I just don’t have anything for it. What the hell would possess someone, some contemptible free -spirit son-of-a-bitch to go flying like that over my dogs? Anyway, yeah, it’s a one-way street, owning your own helicopter. And I’m walking down it the wrong way, I guess.

Som’s belts to anybody who actually read that.

 

[Oddball]

Maybe the helicopter is Som Betshetes slay dropping on Captain Black Grape to all the good boys and girls.

 

[Sobrbiker]

Don't you write to me in bold, young man.

Actually I’m old enough that bold was used just for emphasis, I forgot that the online world takes such as screaming/aggressive behavior-my bad.

 

[Brad H]

Captain Black Orange, since it’s an orange helicopter.

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

Edit.

 

[Sobrbiker]

Back to the spirit….