Yeah but if people followed those two pieces of advice then the world would be a better place, and obviously that's not what some folks want
Taking My Leave
- Thread starter Waning Embers
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I appreciate that too. I try to be level headed in general. I don't always succeed but I do try.
No it's not, but I do think it's a good way to describe a marriage that has failed everyone involved and is clung too despite fundamentally not living up to what it should be.
Reminds me of this statistic which is that the reason most marriage fail is simply because people who marry young are very likely to get divorced, where as people who marry at a slightly more mature age are very likely to stay together. I think a lot of that has to do with the stupidity and foolhardiness of youth. They just don't understand life or how people and things change. An older couple has been through more and are less likely to act on whims or be swayed by impulsive feelings. I think of when I was in high school and seeing people cry over some medicore partner because they'll never meet anyone so special and amazing, when latter they'll find out they got it totally backwards on that person.
I've known people who get married for stupid reasons. I work with a guy who has had bad luck with woman (because he doesn't try not because he's not a mostly great guy who could do very well) but because he's hit a certain age and so the lady he's with is the one he's marrying. It's something to do when you're sure it's the thing to do. I knew one girl who only got married because she was too weak willed to say no. She grew a spine after that though.
In a way it's what we make it to be. But there are certainly ways that work better then others. And like any big life commitment it should be taken with the gravity it deserves.
This whole thread is very odd for a pipe forum but if you live by the truism “ Don’t air your dirty laundry” you won’t open yourself up to contrary opinion.
If your buddy has a boogar on his lip you’re not going to tell him?Yeah but if people followed those two pieces of advice then the world would be a better place, and obviously that's not what some folks want
Thanks for appointing yourself as the representative of the Silent Majority here. Such a noble sacrifice on your part. Where do we send our offerings?
Somebody has to do it! My humility won't allow payment nor accolades! But I'm definitely not alone here.
I think I would first remove the plank from my own eye.
First of all, I'm actually doing him a great service. He loves it! Like a boy who acts out, even negative attention fills that need if only briefly. So you're welcome. From his first ambiguous post about how he's going to be leaving us because his "internet connection" all the way through to his miraculous recovery from "hospice" this story line is full of gaping holes..... but pat him on the head and say good boy all you want. It's farcical
I’m sure Jesus is Impressed by your patience and tolerance.
I’m amused by how many that tout Matt 19:4-6 never mention 9…
I'm glad I gave you a reason to reach for the gospel even if it's the only time you do. But it doesn't fit the topic.
It's interesting to see how this thread has been co-opted as a platform for airing unrequested views on Embers stated meditations on his marriage. It's really nobody else's business. Just because one has thoughts on the matter doesn't require one to voice them.
Of course, I'll now give my unrequested views on marriage.
My parents were married for 73 years. For much of that time it was a combative marriage and they stayed together "for the sake of our children" so we had a ringside seat for daily battles that went on for decades. None of us wanted what they had and frankly wished that they would separate. But in the end, the battles ceased and they came to love each other in the last couple of years.
Surprisingly, three of us kids managed to find good long term marriages that weren't toxic in the least. The other two did not do so well.
I've been married twice. Both marriages were unsuccessful, but the friendships that initiated them survived the break up and I'm close friends with both exes. Wife #2 is staying with us through the Holidays and plans to move up here to be close to us. I bought my townhouse from Wife #1, who had intended it for her retirement home, but events changed that. She had wanted to give me the townhouse as an amends for how she thought that she had treated me back when we were married, and I worked through that with her because I saw things differently, and wasn't buying into her sense of her "guilt". We settled on an agreeable price that she would accept. We talk often and do the occasional trip together. When I'm in LA, we spend time together.
Marriage should not be a life sentence. I don't care what some man made religious cant decrees. If the marriage is soul sucking, it's not a marriage worth preserving. If your partner is not your best friend, good luck with that, because ornery critters like human beings are never 100% compatible and life throws both flowers and rocks. You don't have to agree on everything, but you do have to have respect for each other. Everything else is negotiable.
Of course, I'll now give my unrequested views on marriage.
My parents were married for 73 years. For much of that time it was a combative marriage and they stayed together "for the sake of our children" so we had a ringside seat for daily battles that went on for decades. None of us wanted what they had and frankly wished that they would separate. But in the end, the battles ceased and they came to love each other in the last couple of years.
Surprisingly, three of us kids managed to find good long term marriages that weren't toxic in the least. The other two did not do so well.
I've been married twice. Both marriages were unsuccessful, but the friendships that initiated them survived the break up and I'm close friends with both exes. Wife #2 is staying with us through the Holidays and plans to move up here to be close to us. I bought my townhouse from Wife #1, who had intended it for her retirement home, but events changed that. She had wanted to give me the townhouse as an amends for how she thought that she had treated me back when we were married, and I worked through that with her because I saw things differently, and wasn't buying into her sense of her "guilt". We settled on an agreeable price that she would accept. We talk often and do the occasional trip together. When I'm in LA, we spend time together.
Marriage should not be a life sentence. I don't care what some man made religious cant decrees. If the marriage is soul sucking, it's not a marriage worth preserving. If your partner is not your best friend, good luck with that, because ornery critters like human beings are never 100% compatible and life throws both flowers and rocks. You don't have to agree on everything, but you do have to have respect for each other. Everything else is negotiable.
I’m not married to nor am I dating Duane, so none of this is my business.
Important lesson for others.
Important lesson for others.
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