Lies, More Lies & A Small Touch of Sanity
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Kevin Godbee - Jul 3, 2011
- 4 min read
By C.R.S. Lyles
Dear Readers,
I write to you from the road as I flee the oppressive atmosphere of a campus run rampant with anti-smoking campaigns and rules targeted to ostracize those brave enough to light up at the University of Florida.
My destination?
Vegas.
Long known for its "anything goes", "whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" attitude, it is more the entire state of Nevada that I am interested in relocating to. Adverse to the ham-handed legislature of its neighbor Arizona (which has caused quite a media riot over the last several months), Nevada has actually managed to pass a rather controversial piece of legislature without inciting the fury of the masses.
Just a few weeks ago, Gov. Brian Sandoval signed into law a bill which grants taverns and standalone bars "the right to permit both smoking and food service."
It’s really kind of sad that I find this so exciting and worthy of a completely random move, but I am a smoker, after all, and moreover a smoker who lives in a country who bombards every free sense I have with anti-tobacco commercials and advertisements.
For Christ’s sake, they’ve just passed another bullshit piece of legislature which makes all cigarette packages come with the "new and improved" Surgeon General’s warning, a heart-warming collection of images which include a limp cigarette (as an allusion to effect on male virility), a bald woman graphically dying beside the words "Smoking causes cancer", and an image of a diseased set of vocal cords, all of which are featured prominently on the front or back of the package instead of on the side.
And the kicker? They call this a "historic initiative."
There is some hope, though, in the knowledge that the Nevada Clean Indoor Air Act has officially been slapped in the face by Assembly Bill 571. Now, if only two similar proposals could get into a death-match in my most recent city of Gainesville, I might have considered living there longer.
I wish I could have informed them of some of the recent rumblings I’ve heard from the rebellious smoker’s underground. I wish they could see some of the information and evidence that I’ve been waving in their faces since last summer, but they all refuse to listen to logic or reason.
Besides, I’ve got far too many smoking citations on campus to really risk getting too radical.
But I do want you to at least know this information for the next time you have to defend yourself against some snoopy, mollycoddling nanny, so here it is.
C. Everett Koop, U.S. Surgeon General from 1982 to 1989, said this after his infamous statement that second-hand smoking was responsible for 2,000 deaths in the United States: while he may have pulled the figure out of a hat, it was all in a good cause. The principle was right.
The principle was right?!?!
Only that it wasn’t.
A 1987 study by the American National Academy of Sciences found noevidence that second-hand smoke jeopardizes the health of non-smokers.
Checkmate?
Never.
"In 1993, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) went one better than Koop. They took the official position that second-hand cigarette smoke is a health hazard, responsible for 3,000 lung cancer deaths in the U.S."
Only that it wasn’t.
Just a few years later, questions about the legitimacy of the statement began to emerge, and by 1998 Federal District Judge William Osteen ruled that "EPA publicly committed to a conclusion before research had begun. The EPA disregarded information and made findings on selective information."
But wait, isn’t second-hand smoke still considered one of the major causes of death in U.S. every year?
My little plan about getting out to where the gettin’s still good is starting to look mighty attractive now, isn’t it?
And for those of you who smoke cigars or pipes, yeah you might get dragged down into the mud with the more disreputable cigarette smokers, but at least you’ll have your health.
"A U.S. Surgeon General report ‘Smoking and Health’ noted ‘Pipe smokers who inhale live as long as nonsmokers and pipe smokers that don’t inhale live longer than non-smokers." And even though it’s only about three years longer, at least you can have the last laugh.
So I guess this is about the point where I should get off my butt from the little rest stop I’ve stationed myself at to write this to you. I hear Vegas calling my name, and as Robert Frost once said, "I’ve miles to go before I sleep."
Yep, all I’ve got to do is just hop in my car, turn the key in the ignition, put on some tunes and then crank it up….
Crap. Out of gas.
There’s a sign in the distance for a Chevron hosting Regular Unleaded for $3.97.
I’ll get into my thoughts about the gas issues we’ve been having later.
Cheers,
C. R. S. Lyles
Carter R. Lyles is a student at the University of Central Florida in Orlando, FL and at the University of Florida in Gainesville. He is a journalism/psychology major, and in addition to his work at Pipes Magazine, he has contributed articles to The Alligator, Thursday Night Magazine, and The Fine Print. |
Written by Kevin Godbee
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Now, let’s just say the Pundit has become very persnickety when it comes to adding to the pipe herd or ordering more tobacco. It has to be something special and a missing link in the herd for it to attract special attention. Not saying that a beautiful, must-have pipe or blend, won’t make it to the shopping cart, but I’ve decided this is the year that the Pundit will be very precise indeed. No more wild flourishes of just adding a basketful of pipes and tobacco and then later thinking, “What was that all about?” The reason? After 45-plus years of collecting pipes and tobacco and smoking my beloved pipes, it has come time to reflect on the future of the herd. Not to worry. Pundit will never give up his pipes voluntarily. And the Pundit tobacco cellar is well-positioned to manage things should the regulatory tobacco apocalypse hit tomorrow, perhaps collapsing the industry as we know it today in one huge wallop! At last count, the herd was well north of 200 pipes. The cellar is prepared for the worst possible outcomes, barring meteor strikes. So, it would seem the Pundit is primed for whatever curves the new year might toss out on the tobacco and pipes front. But who knows what might bubble up in other confusing situations Sapiens insist upon as the world turns. On a more important note, this month marks the 142nd anniversary of the birth of one of America’s greatest World War II heroes, who also happened to be an iconic pipe smoker. Gen. Douglas MacArthur was born on Jan. 26, 1880, in Little Rock, Ark. Most of the world recognizes the famous American general as the one who guided the South Pacific war in WWII. He left the island of Corregidor with his family under orders from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but then returned, as he said he would in his famous island farewell “I shall return” promise. He waded ashore in Oct. 1944, in the Philippines during the Battle of Leyte Gulf. The general with the iconic long-stemmed corncob pipe had made good on his vow. Others will recall the general as the military leader who oversaw the Japanese surrender documents aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay, Sept. 2, 1945. Probably one of the most famous photos of MacArthur is with his 5 Star General corncob pipe. He was rarely photographed without either holding or clenching that iconic large pipe. You can find the MacArthur 5-Star Corncob Pipe at Missouri Meerschaum, the legendary company that continues to produce the corncob pipe based upon a design the general sent to the renowned manufacture in Washington, Mo. That company has been making corn cob pipes since 1869. And if you haven’t fired up a cob, you are missing one of the sweetest smokes you’ll have. The Pundit, of course, owns several, including The 5-Star MacArthur General. To the Pundit’s way of thinking, that MacArthur is a 5-star smoke! Now for a couple of Pundit musings: As we contemplate a new season of possibilities, I am hopeful. Walking with my pipe in winter is a special moment. It seems to connect synergistically: nature to nature. Now, the Pundit isn’t the best at pontificating, but just being able to smoke my beloved pipes and tobaccos on a frosty winter morning on a brisk walk, seems to be a kind of connection that we all need. Let’s take a break from all the sad news and reflect on the good. For example, did you add to your pipe collection this past year, but long to see what talented pipe artisans have in store this coming year? The Pundit is chomping at the bit to see what’s on the horizon not only from pipe makers but also from the wizards of tobacco blending. Their pestle and mortar mixing various leaves of Nicotiana tabacum is such magic. It’s like having a tobacco apothecary in our midst to take care of our everyday needs in blends and information. In this time of discontent, the winter of our discontent—apologies to The Bard William Shakespeare and John Steinbeck for popularizing this famous quote—it’s time to look forward to all the goodness that is before us. Just think of all the new pipes and blends that hover on the horizons. Christmas and the New Year have come and gone. Presents unwrapped and parties are vague memories. But what is before us is more than what is behind us pipe smokers. Here’s looking toward a new year, new pipes, and tobacco blends. Here’s to new pipe smoking friends, and to you who keep our hobby so alive and interesting. Like you, the Pundit is aiming for brighter days and more pipes and tobacco. And now in parting, a quote from the general that may set the stage for our new seasons of 2022: “Life is a lively process […]
Thank you for giving voice to our collectively vented rage again, Carter.
Thanks, Carter, for once again demonstrating that there are indeed intelligent and articulate souls among the smoking community. I must join you in mourning the sanity and integrity of my alma mater which has also chosen to become completely smoke free. ( It’s somewhat more north of your UF )
Hi, Carter:
Great article, as usual. I live in Las Vegas, and always thought the ban on smoking in bars that serve food was idiotic. In fact, off the Las Vegas Strip, the law was widely ignored, and the state of Nevada didn’t try very hard to enforce it either. Gov. Sandoval was just acknowledging reality by getting rid of that stupid law. Also, the bars were suffering economically, because the fact is, people like to smoke, drink, eat and gamble here.
However, I must add that even in Las Vegas, there is an element of prudish pleasure haters. One of the casinos off the Strip, Tuscany, has banned cigar and pipe smoking in the casino or at any of the bars. I wrote them a scathing letter and said, among other things, that I couldn’t believe, in the current economic climate, that they would want to exclude any group. But in general, Nevadans are pretty tolerant and free. We just have to constantly guard against the “Californication” of our state. One thing that’s very true here is that it all comes down to money. If it’s profitable, they’ll do it, which makes Las Vegas one of the most honest places to live.
Kevin Cardiff
You make some very good points, and expose the fraudulent claims made in the name of public health — self-admitted lies with good intentions — from no less than the nation’s chief of medical “science”! It is clear that freedom is under attack by brazen propaganda and thought control. Thanks for exposing the deception.
.
Of course, none of this rescues the article from the appearance of having been hastily cobbled together at some roadside rest stop. You’ve done better, Mr. Lyles. Rest up a bit, and for Pete’s sake, put some gas in that tank!
Carter,
Please explain to me about your “smoking citations” on campus. Do they fine you or what?
Not having been a college student since 1975, and with no “citations” to my name (OK… maybe I parked in the wrong place a few times), I was just wondering what the no-smoking police is up to.
Terrific article!
Carter,
I think you should run for Office! How about President? I’ll vote for you!
@Jimbo – Carter is currently off on assignment, but he said you can get all of the details of the policy here: http://www.gatorzone.com/story.php?id=18382
Kevin,
Thanks for that link from Carter. I read it. Oh, brother! BIG Brother rears his ugly head.
Hi, All:
The Florida campus smoking policy really does remind one of the book 1984.
We recently did a trip north to Utah to see some Shakespeare plays in Cedar City. I found that state to be extremely repressive. It was difficult to find a place to smoke even OUTSIDE, and we stayed in a hotel on the outskirts of town. There were signs at every door of the hotel stating their non-smoking policy, and citing a recent law passed, prohibiting smoking “in public areas.” I kid you not. So it’s okay to sin in private, but not in public. They apply this same attitude to drinking establishments. There are three bars listed in the Cedar City yellow pages, and you really have to look hard to find one. (We did).
Needless to say, I am much more loath to spend my tourist dollar in Utah after this latest experience. Kevin Cardiff