Top Ten Holiday Gifts to Please the Piper
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Kevin Godbee - Nov 17, 2014
- 8 min read
E. Roberts
Like it or not, the holidays start earlier every year. Now that I’ve officially entered my Grumpy Old Man period, this serves as an opportunity for me to interject, "Bah, humbug!" immediately after Halloween, perhaps even on the same night. Don’t even get me started on the holiday music. On the bright side, it also means retailers offer substantial incentives to kickstart the seasonal spending spree, so in the interest of pragmatism, this holiday wish list is offered in a timely fashion.
Pipe enthusiasts are actually a cinch to shop for, being the type of hobbyist for whom reason is often a distant memory when confronted with, say, an unsmoked 1922 Dunhill with pristine first-run nomenclature to be had for a song–say, the mortgage, or the kids’ college fund. We’re passionate in our way with these silly stumps of burning wood or clay, and our loved ones hopefully love us for these quirks. Of course, the glaringly obvious gift is a pipe–we could always use just one more, and even the cheapest pipe becomes priceless to the recipient when gifted. We can also be very particular about our pipes, though, so suffice it to say you’ll have to do your own research into their likes and dislikes if you plan on gifting a pipe to that special someone. But pipes alone aren’t the only thing the piper in your life would appreciate; let’s look at a few more holiday options, and please add your suggestions to the comments section for more great gift ideas!
Variety’s the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavor. –William Cowper
1 First, go for the obvious choice: tobacco. It’s a no-brainer, clearly. What piper wouldn’t love more tobacco? Helping a friend stock their cellar with several tins of their favorite blend, or perhaps seeking out that peculiar hard-to-find blend like Semois, Tambolaka, or Penzance, is a treat that every pipe lover will appreciate. Maybe you can expand their palate with a variety pack of blends–ask a local tobacconist for a selection from their stock, or try one of the packaged samplers of tins from blenders like Cornell & Diehl, Peterson, or Hearth & Home. Additionally, many blenders offer limited-time holiday mixtures–classics like McClelland’s Christmas Cheer and Peterson’s Holiday are always tops on my list. And if you’re a piper too, trying new blends together is a wonderful gift to share during the holiday festivities. Don’t forget some Missouri Meerschaum corncob pipes–they make perfect stocking stuffers for sampling.
5 generations of Escudo for the 12 days of Christmas.
2 If you want to take the game up a notch, surprise them with a vintage tin of their favorite tobacco. Fans of blends that have been around for a good long while, and there are quite a few of those brands, would certainly cherish a tin of tobacco that might be as old and wise as they are. Good tobacco changes over time, and often in wonderful ways that simply cannot be replicated. Vintage prices can exceed current values by orders of magnitude, and thus it makes a perfect gift of extravagance for a loved one. This suggestion comes with a caveat, however–the vintage tin market can be intimidating for the uninitiated; it is suggested for folks with some experience in pipes or the antiques and auction markets, preferably both. Several sponsors and esteemed members of the PipesMagazine.com community are established consignors and retailers with vintage stock, and can take the guesswork out of the equation for neophytes–join the forum discussions and get to know them!
3 Now where to store those vintage tins? For a great utilitarian gift, think cellaring supplies. If you’re here reading this, it’s a safe bet that the piper in your life has already contracted the condition known as TAD, or Tobacco Acquisition Disorder. For modest collections, a nice cabinet or end table makes a perfect storage solution and can be found readily; for extensive collections, additional wings on the house may be in order (I’m looking at you, Peck). Other supplies like hermetically sealable jars, watertight plastic storage bins, desiccants, and Mylar bags all make surefire gifts as well. Toss in a few bundles of pipe cleaners to wrap it all up!
4 Speaking of vintage, a fun, funky or purely functional pipe stand or rack will make them smile. There’s a good chance that if the piper in your life has more than one pipe, she’s already running out of places to put them. She’ll certainly appreciate another stand or rack; aside from their obvious utility, they can be artful accessories in their own right. If you feel like splurging, luxury brands like Dunhill offer choices that retain a good resale value, or some auction site surfing can net you a bargain on a vintage piece. Options range from very basic wooden furniture aesthetics to clever and whimsical creations in a variety of materials like ceramic, metal and plastic. Whatever the choice, your piper will know you’re thinking of them.
5 A really nice tamper is something he’ll remember with every smoke. While the average piper is always equipped with a tamper, whether it be a Czech tool or a pipe nail, or anything convenient at hand (say, a forefinger, pen, or Chapstick tube), having a really nice tamper to show off at the local tobacconist or pipe club meeting is a modest treasure that will make him smile every time he uses it. As with many of the suggestions, you can spend as much or as little as you wish on a quality tamper, from a tenner up to hundreds for precious metals and brand names.
6 A leather gentleman’s valet. Regular readers will recognize the recurring prop that often appears in my articles here at PipesMagazine.com. It’s a classic accessory item for its intended use of collecting the stuffs from our pockets at the end of the day, but repurposed as a stylish tobacco preparation tray is where it really shines. I tend to take my time and enjoy the preparation of tobacco, whether it’s a plug that needs slicing, a flake that needs rubbing, or simply a slightly moist Cavendish that needs a little airtime to dry. When preparing to visit the Chicago pipe show, I felt that carrying my trusty paper plate around wasn’t an ideal tool for the job, and so looked to a folding leather change tray that would be easy to carry along with my 5-pipe pouch, provide a place to prepare my tobacco at leisure, and look a bit classy in the process. It also serves as a built-in pipe stand, and neatly keeps my other accessories at hand–tamper, cleaners, and matches all nestle comfortably and don’t wander off. For a modest expenditure in the $20-$30 range, it’s the perfect all-rounder gift.
Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him. -John Locke
7 Pipesters always enjoy a good book. With a little searching, you can find a number of tomes dedicated either directly or indirectly toward the gentle art of smoking. There are fantastic small-press offerings by the likes of pipe world luminaries Gary Schrier, Fred Hanna, or Rick Newcombe, names that should be quite familiar to any savvy piper. Selections I’d recommend from my own library include Smoke: A Global History of Smoking, by Sander Gilman and Xun Zhou, and Tobacco: A Cultural History of How an Exotic Plant Seduced Civilization, by Iain Gately; both superbly informative reads and, in the case of Smoke, a wonderfully illustrated coffee table book. And let us not forget the English language’s most notable pipe smokers, Sherlock Holmes and Mark Twain.
The quintessential gift that keeps on giving.
8 For a year’s worth of reading material, consider a gift subscription to the North American Society of Pipe Collectors. In addition to publishing both a printed and digital monthly newsletter, The Pipe Collector, the NASPC supports and promotes the art of pipe smoking with pipe clubs and events throughout the nation and all year long. Besides supporting our noble pastime, members are afforded attractive discounts at many retailers, which they’ll further appreciate year-round.
9 This one’s from my own wish list: a thick, cozy wool sweater. Just as nothing imprints on the memory like a particular smell, nothing captures the essence of pipe tobacco like a wool sweater. Unlike cigarette tobacco, which leaves an unpleasant acrid odor, pipe tobaccos, particularly aromatics, leave behind an aroma that is nostalgic, warm, and comforting. There’s something to be said for the faint aroma clinging to clothing–for the non-smokers there’s even pipe tobacco scented colognes and perfumes, as if its attractiveness were ever in doubt.
A little Alfons Mucha number I’ve had my eye on.
10 Alternatively, one may rather wish to mitigate the effects of smoke–so why not try a Lampe Berger? A common topic of conversation amongst pipers is how to cohabitate with non-enjoyers, and a common symptom in couples with an uneven number of smokers is that one is relegated to a basement room, the garage or even farther afield to enjoy their tobacco. I’ve had amazing success using a Lampe Berger; it’s a small catalytic lamp that burns a fuel of fragrance and alcohol at a very low temperature. It also releases ozone as a by-product, and will clear a room of any odors in very short order. Once used to sterilize hospital rooms, they can be had as very basic models in the thirty-dollar range, up to hundreds of dollars for antique or luxury brand names.
Written by Kevin Godbee
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Soon now, supposedly, our neighborhoods will shift from grinning pumpkins, skeletons in various assortments, and zombies dashing about to pretty reindeer, angels, and flashing lights illuminating homes with sparkling stars and laughing, scurrying Santas. But, lest we forget, there is the turkey season, fancy pie aromas wafting from kitchens, and a national pardon of a big Tom Turkey. Remember, now, that only one of these holiday personalities is a pipe smoker. And that is the hefty, bearded fellow in a bright red suit sitting in a sleigh with a herd of deer hitched up and ready to streak across the globe, bringing tidings of joy and many presents. Ok, the scene is set for the next couple of months, right? So, before we get too far off the beaten path, let’s just take a deep breath of fresh autumn air, shall we? Ahh. That’s better, isn’t it? What’s got the Pundit in a snit is not all the Halloween spooks who came a-jostling for candy. Or the wild turkeys gobbling in the backwoods or all the fuss and feathers over the big one—Christmas. No, it is that we might need to take note of all the little things that mean so much to us. Like a good sunrise (seriously, Pundit has not gone all Pollyanna.) Mayhaps we need to appreciate more of what we have than what we have not. Or something like that. Like, a good pipe in the morning with coffee as the dawn brings us coolish weather now that we have flipped the calendar to autumn. But it also brings beautiful leaves that have become a spectacle of technicolor in the wind. It is the little things. The rereading of an enjoyable book and finding something you did not see or learn in the first go-round. Or a stunning phrase you commit to memory with the re-read, while smoking that favorite pipe. And you notice a superior puff that just seems to be different. It’s in the air and the seasons of meaningful little things. It’s aromatic! 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Maybe especially with the help of their pipes in the art of thinking and philosophy. Recall the words of Mr. E=MC2 when he said, “I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs.” Amen and amen! Dealing with world-rattling events takes a calm and objective view of things, to the Pundit’s way of summing it up. You just don’t go messing around with quantum physics without a calm and objective approach, methinks. Or as the extraordinary physicist Robert Oppenheimer said after he and a team in the Manhattan Project at Los Alamos Labs developed a way to split atoms into bombs during World War II. “I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds,” said Oppenheimer referring to the development of the first nuclear bombs dropped on Japan. It must be pointed out that Oppenheimer was more of a cigarette smoker than a pipe smoker. Nonetheless, pipes were part of his personality. Now, if you have read some of the great authors of the past and present, their pipes were always nearby. Reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle can be a three-pipe problem at times. S. Lewis and Jean-Paul Sartre require time with your pipes to reflect on the existential problems and solutions these authors provide in learned novels and other narratives. Or take Edwin Hubble and Bertrand Russell, philosophers of another world. Pipes are required for reading. The quantum lode of ideas Pundit is attempting to sort out is that our pipes are relaxing and stimulate our thoughts and creativity. Especially in these last months of the year. Many times Pundit has had that light bulb flick on while smoking my beloved pipes. And friends in Pipedom, it ain’t easy to turn on the lights in Pundit’s rock pit head. Now it’s time for a quote from a Pipe Smoker of the Past. Shelby Foote was born Nov. 17, 1916, in Greenville, Miss., and died June 27, 2005, in Memphis, Tenn. A fact is not a truth until you love it—Shelby Foote. A parting thought: It is said that famed Southern author William Faulkner carried a packed pipe in a coat pocket wherever he went. That’s one effective way to deal with workday conflicts and confusion. A calm and objective judgment in our everyday human affairs, as the quantum man said.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 633. Our featured guest tonight is Jon David Cole. JD is the Owner/Tobacconist at The Country Squire in Jackson, MS, and the accompanying online store. We’ll have JD and Brian talking about what’s new at the store and in the business in general. At the top of the show, Brian will discuss tobacco growing, what happens to the leaf, and provide updated information on where tobacco is being gown today. Tobacco production originated in the United States and we were once the #1 producer. It’s quite different now.
OOh, I like the idea of the gentleman’s valet. Very cool, I think it’s getting added to my wish list.
How about the girl in the sweater??
Great suggestions! And the illustrations are a wonderful accompaniment to well written article. Ho! Ho! Ho!
@ Pylorns – the leather valet was certainly one of my better ideas, and I’ve given them as gifts to piper friends who’ve appreciated them equally as much. Easily my top pick from the entire list. Try it, you’ll love it!
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@ kcghost – I hear Kate Moss is single again, give her a call 😛
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@ Cortez – thanks as always! Happy Holidays bud.
Good suggestions.
Yeah the valet is a great idea.
I have developed an appreciation for pipes over the last few years and have recently thought of starting a collection of my own. This wonderful article certainly puts me in the mood for it 🙂