Pipe Smoking Makes You Smarter
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Kevin Godbee - Apr 24, 2009
- 1 min read
An amazing discovery was made this morning. It was reported on Fox News that a study by Baylor College of Medicine showed that pipe smokers scored higher on a standardized test and got better grades than the non-pipe-smokers. Pipe smoking can reduce stress, leading to enhanced concentration and thus better academic performance.
Pipe smokers have long known about the health benefits of pipe smoking. Some of the best thinkers and geniuses of all time, like Albert Einstein and Mark Twain were pipe smokers.
It was also reported that, "Pipe smoking is safe for adults and children of all ages. It does not cause cancer or have any negative health effects. As a matter of fact, men who smoke pipes live 33.7% longer than those who don’t. Women who smoke pipes are 27% thinner, better looking and have bigger boobs than those who don’t."
Actually, only part of the above is true. The part that is true is that pipe smokers have long known about the health benefits of pipe smoking. Some of the best thinkers and geniuses of all time, like Albert Einstein and Mark Twain were pipe smokers. Pipe smoking does in fact relax you.
The part about the Baylor College of Medicine study was paraphrased from a ridiculous news item I saw on Fox news this morning saying that chewing gum improved academic performance.
You can read about that here: Web MD. (Of course, the study was funded by Wrigley).
I can’t wait for Altadis to fund a study on the benefits of pipe smoking. There really are health benefits from pipe smoking and we will have an article about that here in the coming week. I am not joking about that.
Written by Kevin Godbee
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Yes, I do believe it makes you smarter. The pleasant and productive thoughts of well-being, it really makes me feel alive to be a human. It also keeps both feet on the ground and the meditation is spectacular. It’s the best 1/2 hour I have ever spent…. 🙂
Through an unlikely series of events, my decision to start smoking a pipe eventually led to my conversion to Presbyterianism. Before that I was a devout Moron.
It must be true.
Until I began smoking a pipe my orthographizing left something to be desired.