"You Smell Like A Salad!"

My wife said. “ENOUGH PLEASE”.
I’m not completely bald. But I’m almost there. The hairs began to leave my head back in the mid 60’s when I was 18 and in the Air Force. I’m not a vain person by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, I wear 10 year old clothes, and drive my cars until they are rust buckets filled with holes. But I wanted to experiment with an old Italian recipe that I heard my grand father had used to grow hair on his old, balding, Italian noggin. So every day for the past month…are you ready? I cracked an egg into a bowl, mixed in some Italian wine vinegar, the homemade stuff, a teaspoon of olive oil, and rubbed that concoction into my head for 5 minutes. It’s supposed to grow hair. And by golly, it has worked.
This morning I counted 5 new hairs that have sprouted on the top of my head. I called my wife into the bathroom while I was standing in front of the mirror.
“You aren’t gonna believe this.” I told her. “Look.” I pointed to my head in excitement. “There are 5 new hairs.”
She of course told me I was crazy. And then issued me a warning.
“If you don’t stop putting that salad dressing on your head, you're moving out. You, and this house smell like a salad bar.”
Of course my wife is not the business person that I am. So she did not see the entire BIG picture like I did.
“Are you crazy?” I told her. “You want me to leave after I have just created the best hair growth formula for men? We’re gonna be rich. Do you still want me to leave? Cause if I do leave, and I patent this stuff, you’re not getting any of the fortune.”
Her answer will be forthcoming as this story will be continued.

That's great Frank, but you're missing one vital ingredient if you want that stuff to really work well: garlic.

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Brian, I eat at least 2 gloves of garlic a day. Adding garlic to my hair growth recipe would probably cause a divorce for sure.

I suppose you could constantly wear a hat or cap to keep the odor at bay.

jpmcwjr, I'm always wearing a hat. Problem is, now the hats smell like salads.

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You see, the remedy, which I believe is called il rituale del culo a testa works by an ingenious and wicked device that takes hair from one place and deposits it in another.

bigpond, if I did that, then I'd really be a stunad.
jerwynn, that hat would fit my personality perfectly. Many do call me a "dunce"

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You forgot the anchovie.

newbroom, I actually thought about using anchovies.

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