When and When NOT to "Do It Yourself" (a cautionary tale)

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georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,542
14,286
I get the whole, "It's my property so I can do what I want with it" principle, I truly do. You want to texture the hood of your Porsche with a ball peen hammer, toss your iPhone in a blender, or pour a $5,000 bottle of wine into a sewer drain, knock yourself out. I might smile sadly, but I won't raise a finger or say a word. It's your stuff.
But some property has rules. You can't (overly, anyway) mistreat a dog, cat, or horse without potential consequences, for example.
And while a fine old high grade pipe isn't a living thing, it isn't an identical-by-design mass-produced item like an iPhone, or something with a shelf life that's made to be consumed like wine, either.
Every high grade pipe is unique, and with reasonable care will last several hundred years. They are much closer on the spectrum of belongings to, say, a good violin, where owning one is more like being a caretaker.
Which brings me to the subject of this thread. A Dunhill PO made in 1934. Not only is it a fine specimen, but the shape is one of the rarest in the Dunhill catalog. Always high on any Britwood bulldog collector's list. Most smokers have never even seen one in the flesh (wood?).
So, given what it is, what sort of thought process would result in some former owner of the pipe thinking that it was a good one to PRACTICE OPENING THE AIRWAY on? And---for reasons unknown---stuff a roll of sandpaper into the mortise and scrub away to make it a lovely HOURGLASS SHAPE in profile, and EGG SHAPED in cross-section?
Because I don't want Kevin to nuke me from the board, I will not speculate on said previous owner's thought processes.
The slot is now too tall, making the bite zone's "roof" too thin to remove toothmarks from; the walls of the tenon are so thin in relation to the airway's diameter that it won't stay cylindrical (distorts from compression); and the mortise, which needs to be cut larger in diameter to become true again, is at odds with the shrinking-diameter, floppy-loose tenon (fixing one problem exacerbates the other).
At last count there were 66,784,965,014 inexpensive pipes in the world---what collectors frequenty refer to as "basket pipes"---which would have made a wonderful training ground for learning the do's and don'ts of airway enlargement.
But no. Imma gonna git me some files an' drill bits and go after this a'here one, by golly, yee hah!
Figuratively speaking, of course. (He might have had a Boston accent, or been a hipster bro from Seattle.)
Please don't misunderstand. I'm all for people being interested in and trying their hand at pipe restoration, modification, and repair. But NOT using rare collectables as practice fodder. (Or worse, practiced enough on basket pipes to know they're not good at it, then go ahead and jack a good pipe anyway.)
Puttin' my money where my mouth is, the me: If anyone here on The Kevinboard is unsure of their skill level at this stuff but determined to dive in on a good pipe anyway, CALL ME. I'll tell you what you need and walk you through it. (No guarantees against squoinking something, but at least the odds will go down.)
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davet

Lifer
May 9, 2015
3,815
330
Estey's Bridge N.B Canada
Great advice, some cannot leave things alone, unaltered. Several recent threads come to mind. That's a real beauty, and the rarity compounds the sadness of the "repairs". :crazy:

 

jaytex1969

Lifer
Jun 6, 2017
9,520
50,598
Here
I suffer the same horrors on the surplus rifle forums, watching people turn rare examples worth thousands into $100 nightmares because they want them to shoot like $200 modern rifles.
May the Force be with you, George!
jay-roger.jpg


 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,542
14,286
Whoops, I fat-fingered 1934, when it's clearly stamped a '33. Sorry for any confusion.

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,733
16,332
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
"But, George," he spoke in whine, "It looks sooooo easy."
Your professional observations and admonitions are spot on!
I am a bit of a woodworker. I know when I'm over my head. My pipes go to a pro or, when it looks easy and logical I'll try my ideas out on piece of scrape. There is little easy and lots of logic in construction or modification of a pipe.
The pipe must be considered as a whole when modifying I suspect. I know when play and when to pay.

 

sgtmorgan

Lurker
Jul 1, 2017
12
0
:eek: even I draw the line at Dunhill, especially since a new "entry-level" Dunhill costs more than double my Santambrogio "water bong". (I swear it had to be a seconds reject) But a vintage, Brit Bulldog...NOoooo! :crying:

 
Mar 1, 2014
3,647
4,917
I think I'm just going to carve my forum name in all my pipes so that people know who to yell at when they inevitably end up back here someday.

 

fluffie666

Can't Leave
Apr 4, 2014
497
5
Beautifully illustrated point. +1 on knowing when to play and when to pay. That poor Dunny is a victim. Sort of like an artist who practices their new found painting skills by adding to The Mona Lisa. Use a basket pipe for practice. And if your painting, destroy a Warhol. Preferably the soup cans. Afterall, if you can turn the soup cans into something that actually passes for art, you're on your way to being the next Picasso.

 

jvnshr

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 4, 2015
4,616
3,875
Baku, Azerbaijan
I guess there is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity. Even to modify a cob I read several dozen posts and watched few videos and only after that I managed to modify it. To start modifying a Dunhill, I should visit Tibet monks first.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
Unfortunate, to say the least. Had this been done to a Cassano or LaRocca, we's shrug and laugh a little. I'm always glad when pipes fall into the hands of Forums members in time, because they have some judgement and some good advice available. Others just play it by ear, often badly.

 

ssjones

Moderator
Staff member
May 11, 2011
18,444
11,353
Maryland
postimg.cc
George: You've indoctrinated me! That one belongs to my buddy Dave (he bought it that way, he was not the file-wielding fool...) He sent me that first picture and asked if I can fix the stem. I've done a number of Dave's pipes, as I always enjoy seeing his purchases and it gives me exposure to some pipe brands that I wouldn't have encountered otherwise.
But in this case, I had to say "no, send it to George". I said that I've read your how-to on fixing a stem angle, but I don't have the tools or expertise to do it correctly and I sure didn't want to experiment on a '33 Dunhill. At that time we didn't know about the other issues.
Dirty Harry coined the right phrase:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VrFV5r8cs0

 

aldecaker

Lifer
Feb 13, 2015
4,407
42
Here's an even more horrible thought- what if that was done by some butcher passing himself off as a competent repairman? Talk about getting pissed!

 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,542
14,286
That one belongs to my buddy Dave
:D
Knowing that will make getting the pipe squared away even sweeter.
He's quite a decent guy, isn't he? An Old School gentleman. You have good taste in friends, Al. :clap:

 

georged

Lifer
Mar 7, 2013
5,542
14,286
I think that I did a pretty nice job on this pipe.
:?:
I can't tell if you're serious, it's part of a running gag around here (that I missed), etc.
Care to elaborate/explain?

 

ssjones

Moderator
Staff member
May 11, 2011
18,444
11,353
Maryland
postimg.cc
Dan has the art of sarcasm perfected.
Yep, Dave's a good dude. He lives about 90 miles North of me, but we still find a way to get together every couple of months. So, I'll get to see that baby restored, and in the flesh at some point!

 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,775
45,377
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
I'll admit that whenever I hear of someone deciding to "improve" a fine old piece of Brit wood by opening up the airway I have to suppress the urge to break both of the idiot's arms and amputate his dangling slobber covered hands. Believe it or not, these pipemakers actually had more than a clue about how to make a pipe, and their products don't need "improving". The draw on all of mine is just fine as it is, quite open enough. There is o cure for stoopid.

 
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