"The Dilemma of the Frankenstein Pipe Tobacco Mixture ".

Greetings & Salutations My Fellow Friars of the Briar,
I have a dilemma that I am hoping some of you might be

willing to help me resolve. Let’s call it the "The Dilemma

of the Frankenstein Pipe Tobacco Mixture ".
A couple of months ago, one cold winter’s day I was

bored. The driveway was shoveled out, sidewalks

salted, cat litter boxes were cleaned and The Warden

had given me a kitchen pass for the remainder of the

afternoon, she’s nice like that! So I was thinking of what I

could do to kill some time and make myself useful. Ah, I

know…I’ll take all that wonderful pipe tobacco that is

accumulating in those plastic storage bins in my closet

and take them to the “Man Cave” and mix it all together

and see what happens! Well, the plan looked good on

paper.
So with two large plastic airtight pails of stored pipe

tobacco to the “Man Cave” I went. I guess it was out of

boredom and frustration, and a brief moment of

temporary insanity that I decided to just mix them all

together for fun to see what I would wind up with!
Well this “Frankenstein Mixture” of pipe tobaccos

contains perhaps 10-12 tobacco blends and about 75-

80% aromatic blends of many various brands as well as

some non-aromatic English blends just to make it

interesting. Everything from Lane BCA, Cornell & Diehl

Epiphany, various Sutliff aromatic blends, Hearth &

Home Eggnog and Grandma's Kitchen, J.M. Boswell

Christmas Cookie, Prince Albert and Captain Black. You

name it and it's problebly in there in some proportion be

it an ounce or several ounces!
To say that the experiment turned out great and that the

mixture turned out to be an interesting and palate

pleasing mixture would be an understatement. It's more

like "what in the wide, wide world of sports" was I

thinking? Well here I sit with all this lovely aromatic and

non-aromatic pipe tobacco mixed together. Oh, its

moisture content is just fine. And there really are some

very nice expensive pipe tobaccos in there. Let’s just

say they don't seem to blend together well and the result

it does not please my palate well. I'm confident that none

of you have ever committed such an atrocity! Of course

not...you all have your sanity!
Does anyone have a suggestion how I can mellow out

(dilute) this "pipe tobacco nightmare" out using perhaps

a base tobacco like unflavored Burley or straight

Virginia? There has to be a way to salvage this mixture

and not just dump it out, especially at today’s tobacco

prices!
PLEASE, PLEASE someone take pity on this silly minded

old man and help me bring this Frankenstein Mixture

back from the tobacco grave yard to a level of

smokeability! Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank You-

dukeofwestwood63

Thanks guys for all the great ideas on how to mellow out this "Frankenstein Pipe Tobacco Mixture ".
I especially liked the Colorado pot smoking hippie idea, "cut your losses...take a vacation to Colorado, convince some potheads that this is some African trip weed from Curt Cobain's private stash, and let them pay for your vacation". Who knows maybe I could become the next Walter White. But before I leave for the Rockies’ where do I get my Heisenberg hat?
But seriously guys I appreciate your input and I kind of figured I would need to experiment and break the concoction down into small batches and add some base tobaccos until it returns to a smokeable blend. If this works I may name it "Purple Haze" in honor of Jimmy Hendrix...
P.S. Who the hell is Curt Cobain?

Dukeofwestwood63