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Smoke Jokes

(19 posts)
  1. mate

    mate

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    Post your "Smoking Jokes" here

    I encourage:
    Politically Incorrect Jokes
    Corny is OK
    Anti-Smoking Nazi BASHING is encouraged

    Disclaimer Admin (Kevin) has no prior knowledge of this, and is not responsible for any ones feathers that have been ruffled. He can of course delete and or modify any content

    Mate aka John

    The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -George Bernard Shaw
    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. mate

    mate

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    An “Old Battle Ax” is walking past an “Outdoor Coffee Shop” at midday and sees an extremely attractive young lady enjoying a Robosto.

    With as much disdain as she can muster the hag walks up to the young lady and blurts out, “That’s disgusting, I’d rather have sex”.

    With out missing a beat, the young woman replies, “So would I, but there is just not enough time on a Lunch-Break”

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. mate

    mate

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    I'd Vote for this Man

    see: http://my.wrif.com/drewmike/index.php?s=kenya+obama

    Its Michelle's Fault
    • He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president - he didn’t

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. mate

    mate

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    Piss Off an Anti Smoking Nazi

    Plug this into thier USB Port

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. python

    Bob

    Would Smoke Rabbits if He Could Keep them Lit
    Joined: Apr 2009
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    That pipe is funny. I should get one so my computer can puff a pipe while I'm working. That should calm it down enough to work right, lol.

    "When the Government Fears the People, There is Liberty;
    When the People Fear the Government, There is Tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. mate

    mate

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    Yes that pipe is specifically designed to calm Windoze and PeeCee Users.

    Having fun with Windoze New Operating System Yet?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. mate

    mate

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    Is an Estate Dunhill worth more than a New SUV

    Two old buddies, are heading off on their Annual Fishing Trip. For arguments sake we’ll call them Kevin and Bob

    Bob notices that Kevin is being more grumpy than usual and tries to lighten things up by way of conversation.

    Bob: “So Kev, last week was your birthday, happy belated”

    Kevin: “Thanks” grudgingly

    Bob: “Say, did, Laura, buy you that Estate Dunhill that you were constantly hinting at?”

    Kevin: “Na”

    Bob: “Well what did she get you instead”

    Kevin: “SUV”

    Bob: “New or used?”

    Kevin: “New of course”

    Bob is extremely puzzled as Kevin is still driving the same beat-up pick-up that was already old when Saddam was considered an ally.

    Bob: “You know Kev, you and I have been friends for a long time, and I’m entitled to say that you are an ungrateful sour puss, Laura buys you a New SUV instead of a second hand pipe, and that has you in a bad mood.”

    Kevin: “Humph!”

    Bob: “Well what kind of an SUV was it anyway?”

    Kevin: “Socks, Underwear, Viagra”

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. admin

    Kevin

    Smoking a Pipe Right Now
    Joined: Nov 2008
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    LOL. Laura IS my Viagra.

    Check Out Our Sister Site - Cigar Chronicles

    Certified Master Tobacconist (CMT) #1858
    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. mate

    mate

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    I hope they feel this way about Tobacco too!!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. mate

    mate

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    Tobacco Smoke Enema,
    Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)
    The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily thte resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blow smoke up one’s ass.”

    No Thanks, I would rather enjoy my tobacco the traditional way

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tobacco_smoke_enema

    http://images.google.tt/imgres?imgurl=http://tophattobacco.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Smoke-Enema-Kit.jpg&imgrefurl=http://tophattobacco.com/blog/&usg=__Xcn_h6AGSV3FxoKIHG-lDnWdQIo=&h=381&w=480&sz=28&hl=en&start=81&um=1&tbnid=-sp8LhZ2vnAv4M:&tbnh=102&tbnw=129&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlips%2Bthat%2Btouch%2Btobacco%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN%26start%3D72%26um%3D1

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. mate

    mate

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    Tobacco Smoke Enema, can't be all bad..........

    Imagine you rescue an Anti Smoking Nazi from drowning at the beach

    In your best Clint Eastwood voice

    "Smoke or die Nazi, either way you made my day!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. mate

    mate

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    Anti Tobacco Politician checking his Statistics

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. mate

    mate

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    Montana Bear Tragedy ............. This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country's wildlife!

    The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife . . . .

    Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party..... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for Tobacco Taxes to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

    This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed . .. .

    Bearack Obearma.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. dunendain

    dunendain

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    Does an Obama shite in Tiger's Woods?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. cortezattic

    cortezattic

    A part of the problem since he ...
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    Marketing pioneer Daniel Boone Savinelli with an early focus group.

    I find myself sitting idly on the line dividing past and future,
    as if I could kill time without injuring eternity. -- Thoreau
    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. python

    Bob

    Would Smoke Rabbits if He Could Keep them Lit
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    LOL

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. cortezattic

    cortezattic

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    All Canadians sold to newbie's
    should come with a bowl sticker.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. jcosmoasp

    jcosmoasp

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    Joined: Jan 2010
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    If you think you can or can't do something, you're right.
    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. pawpaw

    pawpaw

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    shameless bump

    Posted 9 months ago #

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