Sao Paulo Stole My IM Corona!

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treebarksap

Lurker
Jan 7, 2013
24
0
Well, it's been awhile since I've posted, but I've got a little rant about Sao Paulo International airport. Having travelled on planes throughout South America, North America and Europe with my IM Corona Old Boy, I don't attempt to hide this perfectly legal lighter.

Airport screening pulled me aside and told me I couldn't take it on the plane. "Show me in writing where it says I can't have this." That's all you have to say to rise the sleeping dragon of airport officialdom in Brazil. They don't like gringos giving them the gears, but knowing it was legal, I decided to stand my ground. My wife and son next to me, the guy looks at me and says firmly, "No." "No? No, I want to see it in writing. Show it to me and you can have my lighter. It's simple."

Then the line nobody wants to hear, "Ok sir, come with me." Knowing I'd done nothing wrong, I covertly slipped the lighter to my wife. Now that I was in the special blacked out room with rubber gloves a plenty, this son of a bitch came literally nose to nose with me and says in bad English "Where is it?" "Where is what?" "One more time. Where is it?" "I don't know what you're talking about." This was the only way I could tell him what I was really thinking, which is to fuck off.

You can see where this goes...

Fully searched, the last thing he can do is re-scan my boots in the x-ray machine. Feeling a little cheeky, I called out to him "Bring me back the paper where it says that lighter is illegal." He turned and tried his best action hero glare on me and I knew I was fucked.

In the meantime, my wife slipped back out of customs and gave my lighter to a passerby, saying it was a gift to them. NoooOOoooOOooooo!

Some gift! Dejected, searched, and without my lighter for good, I collected my stuff and went through customs. Who's running after me, yelling for the police? Action hero Guido to save the day! The police came out and he demanded that they strip search all of us, including my 3 year old son!

The nerve of this son of a bitch! Luckily the cop was educated, took one look at us and said he was not going to be searching anyone. We were allowed through customs and on to the plane with action hero Guido telling the cop that he was going to take full responsibility for letting us through.

All over a perfectly legal lighter, spelled out on their own web page (that I was not allowed to access while in the confines of action hero) and set in electronic stone.

I'm now in Germany, delayed because the baggage of the flight is undergoing "extra screening". I'm not sure if it's connected, but I have a hunch that action hero Guido had somehow tipped off the authorities that some troublemaker is trying to smuggle something small, black, and suspiciously lighter like.

So, for anyone going to Brazil for the Olympics or any other events they'll be soon hosting. Or even if you want to sit on the beach and drink a cool coconut... don't forget to give this bastard my kind regards. It was all I could do not to kick him in the balls, and only the threat of being tossed in a Sao Paulo prison kept his cherries from being pummelled black and blue.

As a friend once told me, they might win. We might all become oppressed and slapped around by the heavy hand of authority, but they have got to see that not all of us are going to go quietly. Some of us are going to have a little backbone and push back.

My only regret is that my wife slipped out on the sly and passed the legal contraband off to a stranger. Having only 30 minutes to catch the flight, I understand, but man... that was a nice lighter.

 

cortezattic

Lifer
Nov 19, 2009
15,147
7,637
Chicago, IL
What I learned from your experience:
  • Don't travel with an expensive lighter (or anything precious)

    Don't go to Brazil for any reason. They have a great image thanks to slick P.R., but the country sucks.

    There is an art to getting your way with, or manipulating an authoritarian.

BTW, do you think it might have helped if you offered to empty the butane from the lighter?

 

allan

Lifer
Dec 5, 2012
2,429
7
Bronx, NY
Treebark
I suppose one could admire your set of cajones in what you did, but traveling with your family in a foreign country with laws that have no bearing on what we as Americans expect...well I think you were foolish to mess with the whole thing
Having travelled to Caribbean countries in my diving days the one thing I've learned is not to screw with their police
I've seen it more than once. Guys joking around and getting pulled off the line, etc
I'M sorry this happened to you and of course in a democratic country one can argue 'show me where it is written'. But in countries like brazil, Central America and such, you are literally taking you and your families life in your hands
Lucky you got out ok

 

treebarksap

Lurker
Jan 7, 2013
24
0
Well, it's certainly a pain in the ass. The first thing I did was offer to empty it out, but the guy was having none of it.

It's a crappy situation, but if you aren't dealing with the authorities, Brazil is a pretty alright place. I've lived there for about 2 years now, as my wife is a Brazilian, so I'm not so uncomfortable with the police and I know that they too even have some limits. I knew I wasn't going to be taken away and beaten with sticks for bringing a lighter through security, especially when it's perfectly legal in Brazil to do so. The situation was a little more controlled than it seems, I think.

It's a democratic country, or well, as democratic as America is anyway. The term is used pretty loosely in both places from what I can tell. They can't just fire you into a hole and lock away the key, but when it comes to stuff like this... well, interpretation of the law seems to vary a great deal.

In the end, the "real" police essentially told this power tripping security moron to get stuffed and let us through without the strip search. You should have seen him protesting, he was livid! I think the guy just started going off the rails for some reason, and maybe a little of it was because I refused to be subservient, roll over and play tricks with him. I just wish my wife hadn't tossed my trusty lighter to a stranger, I'd still have it.

I advocate sticking up to these jerks because I think they can be found anywhere and when people don't take it anymore, there's a good chance this type of person won't have a weird twisted niche to corrupt. I guess you'd need to use your best judgement for where you are, but this guy was being such a prick that it would have been hard not to react with contempt.
Screw em' Otherwise, where are you going to start drawing the line? It's got to start somewhere. I think this is also true for all of the anti smoking vitriol going on. You can be the subservient, but I don't think it's going to be a good strategy in the long run.
Well, that's my take. I'd do it again.

 

docrx

Part of the Furniture Now
Jan 9, 2011
842
1
I understand your anger completely but comparing Brazil's democracy to ours is far fetched in terms of freedoms we enjoy here.Brazil I would classify as a dictatorship despite their packaging of democracy and would avoid going there at all costs.I'm sorry if my reply is in contradiction to forum rules because it is somewhat political in nature.

 

treebarksap

Lurker
Jan 7, 2013
24
0
Yeah, maybe it can become a slippery slope. I'm not sure how someone could classify it as a dictatorship though. There used to be a dictatorship, but that's some time ago now. There is a vote, people protest, and the police slap people around there just as much as they do in America, Canada, etc. when people get up and protest against the man.

I don't think it's political. I'm originally from Canada, which is considered a pretty democratic place in the world, but I was never once given the chance to vote on any anti-smoking legislation that directly affects me. Voting for a politician once every few years who may or may not have mentioned their ideas on anti-smoking legislation doesn't count as a vote on the matter in my opinion.

I guess I just have a different impression of freedom, and that's probably the spirit of the post. Standing up to injustice wherever it is. Doesn't matter what party you support, or even if you don't support any at all. I think if we demanded more democratic power, including places like Canada, U.S.A., New Zealand, Germany, or wherever you are, we'd all be better off.

Maybe people would vote to allow smoking in parks again! It's a shame we can't though, or at least most of us can't.

You shouldn't use my post for more reasons not to visit the place... just as a warning about security clearance at the port. Lots of good burley production in Brazil that finds it's way to many a pipe! Also, while they do control smoking in bars, restaurants, etc., there is definitely much more freedom there in regards to the leaf.

It could be time you swing down and have a drink on the beach with me! We can swap stories about the customs guy when you meet him! I'll be back in November.

 

4dotsasieni

Part of the Furniture Now
Jan 6, 2013
756
6
Unfortunately, the TSA agents and their foreign equivalents don't seem to know or adhere to the written rules -- they make it up as they please. And if you try to question or call them on it they react as Guido did.
To avoid this, I've just given up, and now carry my (fueled) lighters in a Colibri Transpack (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000J0KUB0/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=863596869&ref=pd_sl_5g10jqvgjn_e) in checked luggage. But I'm sure that one of these days, some superhero is going to decide that that's not legal either. That's the age we live in.

 

pipinho

Starting to Get Obsessed
Apr 1, 2013
207
21
Im sorry you had a bad experience. To be honest, my six week stay in brazil was completely opposite. IMHO I have never been to a country where the people were so geuine and caring other than Brazil. (And i have traveled a bit in my time). Brasilians are some of the most kind hearted and welcoming people I have ever met.

 

pipefish

Can't Leave
Aug 25, 2013
341
6
I travel quite a bit, and while I can bring pipes and tobacco basically everywhere in my carry-on, I never bring lighters or matches either in my carry-on or in checked luggage--it's simply not worth the hassle. I know some US based airlines allow for one lighter, but on other airlines (like Thai airways) absolutely no matches or lighters are allowed on any part the plane--period. As 4dot said, the problem is that most airport security people tend to make up the rules as they go, and even if you are in "the right" they can make your trip/vacation miserable. I just want to get through the airport security gauntlet, get on the plane, and enjoy my trip. And if that means I'll need to buy a cheap lighter at my destination, so be it.

 

stanwellman

Might Stick Around
Nov 5, 2011
76
28
What I have learned from your experience:

-“gringo” is Spanish, Brazilians speak Portuguese....

-arrogance will get you nowhere....

-my trip to Sao Paolo became more complicated because of the example you set at the airport....

-ignorance combined with arrogance leads to trouble.....

Thank you......

 

burghbriar

Lurker
Jan 8, 2012
30
0
The TSA agents are poorly trained here, and I can only imagine that the same is true in Brazil, where they probably make next to nothing. I lost a good lighter with a soft flame (which is the distinction in the regulations, I think, -- as opposed to a cigar torch, which you could weld with) in Orlando. It's wasn't an Old Boy but a considerably cheaper IMCO, so it wasn't worth an argument; I also had a discussion once in Hartford over a Czech pipe tool in my pipe bag, of all things, but they waved me on (the agent assumed it was a blade of some sort). I think Pipefish has it right: rather than loose something valuable, just grimace and buy a Bic at the point of destination. I always check my pockets now and leave anything that can spark in my car. Oddly, you can buy a cheap lighter in the terminal here after you clear security, WTF.

 

treebarksap

Lurker
Jan 7, 2013
24
0
No problem stanwellman. But when you do cruise into Sao Paulo, make no mistake, you are a gringo. It's a term used in nearly all of South America, which definitely includes Brazil. Don't take offence to it though, they usually say it in a friendly way.

Standing up for yourself is not being arrogant. We're in the shithouse in a lot of ways because people seem to have forgotten this. If I am allowed to do something, I'm simply allowed. Submitting to mini dictators anywhere can only have the outcome of empowering them further until one day you find yourself surrounded by the bastards and wondering how it all came to be. Is it starting to look a little too familiar? Go on a smoking tour of parks and see what being a good little obedient boy has gotten us.

Your trip to Sao Paulo isn't any more complicated, but you are right about one thing, ignorance does lead to trouble.

After living in Brazil for a couple of years and soon returning to my home there in a couple of months, I agree that it is a pretty lovely place, it's why I have a life there. If anyone makes the transition from tourist to resident, I think you'll begin to see that fellows like this crop up a little too often. Most of the time they're looking for a bribe, or a little 'cafezino' to make the made up trouble disappear. This guy was just looking for me to grovel and apologize for breaking his made up law so that he could feel empowered and important. The people in Sao Paulo aren't taking so much shit from the man anymore either. The recent massive protests that saw a whole pile of bad decisions reversed and more rights and services given to the public didn't come from people saying 'yes sir'. In fact, many of them got a can of pepper spray in the face if they were lucky and rubber bullets and stun grenades so that all of the people sitting at home and watching it on the news could enjoy those new rights the next day.

Well, I suppose it's a question of personal philosophy on the matter. Sure, it's just a $150 lighter when shipping is through, but it was more about standing up for yourself. I'm not very interested in being a pacifist when I come up against these types. Others will certainly disagree, but I think that's how the world ends up with endless dictatorships, corrupt governments and draconian laws. If you don't show a little backbone once in awhile, someone else is going to have to do it for you.

Like others though, I'll be packing it in the checked luggage. The thing that set it all off was literally travelling all over the world with a lighter and never having a problem. Not once. Not even 2 months before through that exact same checkpoint with that exact same lighter on my way to Argentina when I put it into a tray with my keys. It's pretty much the cost equivalent of someone saying that you're suddenly not allowed to take your ipod or cell phone on the plane when there's a message in black and white saying that you're allowed to. Are you just going to sit back and take it? If you do, well...

 

simnettpratt

Lifer
Nov 21, 2011
1,516
2
I used to travel for business, pre 9/11. For one client, my buddy and I had to fly with three huge custom hardshell cases with metal corners containing several servers and eight workstations. Each of the three cases were literally big enough to get inside, and all weighed a ton. You could tell when they loaded them on to the plane because the whole plane would shudder. We felt sorry for the other passengers when ours came out of the pickup carousel and smashed the hell out of whomever's bags were in front of them.
The folks at check-in made up their own rules on the fly.
What do you mean I can't send these back to Dallas; how do you think I got them up here? And it was on your stupid airline!
We learned to make sure we went to the airport with $40 in cash and checked them in at curbside. Never had a problem after that. No curbside check-in now though; I guessed I missed my chance to be a drug smuggler!

 
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