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boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
AnthonyRosenthal's "Pipe Poems" gave me the idea for this.
A bit of restrained ribaldry is often a feature of limericks.
Join in if you like, and don't worry about the technicalities of form - it's all in fun!
Here's a starter:
A happy old pipester named Thad

Announced to his wife a new TAD.

She flung open the door,

And shouted, "No more!"

And with that he proceeded to PAD.

 
pruss

pruss

Lifer
Feb 6, 2013
3,558
370
Mytown
How about PM Forum persona themed limericks?
There once was a pipester named Kash

Who loved his old Comoy Ribands

He'd load them with love

The 'baccy fit like a glove

And would burn until ash with one match
-- Pat

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
Certainly, Pat! However, proceed at your own risk. Heh Heh Heh

I just don't know other members well enough to name them directly. Not sure how they'd take a little fun-poking.
Leads me to a disclaimer: Any name used in my limericks may be coincidentally the same as an avatar name for an actual member. However, there should be no intentional intent construed by such use, especially since it's entirely possible that with 8,000+ members such a coincidence could occur. (Glad I didn't have to type that on a manual Underwood - I may have had to take a pipe break!)
There once was a smoker named Kale

Whose baccy had gotten quite stale.

He ordered some burley

But his wife got quite surly

And screamed, "I call that a FAIL!"

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
A feisty young piper name Ned

Lit up his pipe while in bed

His wife said with a grin,

While reaching for him

"Your pipe's lit but Ned is dead."

 
pruss

pruss

Lifer
Feb 6, 2013
3,558
370
Mytown
Hmmm...
Poor lonely pipe widow Gayle

Found hubby's room notes quite stale

He said, "It's an art!"

She yelled, "Smells like farts!"

And lit candles to little avail.
-- Pat

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
Keep 'em coming! Where are some other budding limerick pipers?
An unknowing young married named Cruz

Had scheduled a big surprise cruise.

Packed his aros with topping,

Then his wife took him shopping

And spent his TAD money on shoes.

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
:wink: Well get out that keyboard!
Okay, you twisted my arm...
A jolly young bloke named Pat

Realized he was getting too fat.

So he latched on to piping,

And he gave up sniping

And donated his pasta to (the) cat.

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
LOL Blame anthonyrosenthal for getting me started... JK
A comely young lass named Brees

Was getting to skinny to please

So she soon crossed the border,

Learned cooking short order

And models XL for McD's.

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
One last one for tonight -
An athletic young man named Champ

Had not yet learned how to tamp

So his girl took up smoking

And soon was pro-toking

And sent him to boy scout camp! :P

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
There was a young man named Hinds,

Who liked his pipe smoking just fine.

But his wife did not like it,

She pitched a big fit

And bought him Mixture 79.

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
Onward...
A darling young woman named Medici

Bought her new man a Radice

But he turned up his nose,

So she gave him a hose

And became constantly bee-chee.

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
A man with time on his hands can be a "dangerous thing..."
Okay, let's get a bit sophomoric:
Another young bloke named Jack

Had no damn idea how to pack

So he packed it real tight,

Then to draw was a fight

And he had a huge fart attack.

 
bryanf

bryanf

Part of the Furniture Now
Jul 16, 2013
742
8
I'm getting in trouble here at my office for laughing too hard!
Boudreaux, you are a genius. Keep it coming, and thanks for the laughs. I look forward to buying your book even if you reprint some of these!

 
boudreaux

boudreaux

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2013
676
2
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
@bryanf - There will be a book, but it's a mystery/thriller novel. Working on revisions to the manuscript before self-publishing it.

 
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